Have you ever became friends with someone,basicly got to the point of really trusting them, told them tons of personal things and even joked around a bit with them, just to have them turn around and stab you in the back?

How did/do you deal with that?

Has the experiance ever made you cry or possibly sent you into a depression?

Yeah, I've had people betray my confidence. It really hurts. It's also extremely frustrating. It's always crap when someone does this, especially when you thought of that person as a good friend.

Usually I got angry. It hasn't happened to me since high school probably, so I think I'd react differently today than I did then.

If you're talking about you here I'm sorry that you're sad.

Why, yes, just today. I started to get hung up on it, for a minute, too. "Snap out of it, man!" I said to myself. "They're not worth it."

When you're given clarity about how a person really is -- particularly in relation to you -- celebrate it. Embrace the truth, and move on.

Brighter days await you.

yup, a few years ago. my 'best' friend at school at the time. it made me never trust anyone fully again. people are lying assholes as a general rule.

oooh, and i found out recently i'm being completely trashed by someone who shares a lot of friends with me, but honestly i can't be fucking bothered to care.
[Edited 8/27/07 17:39pm]

a long time ago when I use to trust people but now I know not to trust anyone so my life is just fine

I think there is a significant difference, though, about being a wise discerner of people's character and being embittered and distrustful.

It's good to read people wisely and accurately. But, you miss out when you refuse to trust anyone because of your past hurts.

It happened to me several times when I was in high school. It was upsetting to me and it did make me cry because I thought they were my friends. I cut myself off from those people back then, although, I recently started talking to one of the people that did this to me, but I know now that I have to watch what I share with people.

Calligraphy said:

i know my reaction is immature, but it's how i'm choosing to deal with it. i'm terrible at reading people anyway

Plenty of times.

I don't think I ever do get over anything, I think that all of the bull crap I had/have to deal with from people makes me be moreof a loner than I already am.

evenstar3 said:

Healing takes time.

there are some genuine people out there though, don't forget it. I think it just might be a good idea to get to know someone very slowly, so you can gauge their personality, quirks etc, before plunging in headfirst.
You can tell how your friend talks about their other friends, if they are a habitual gossip-monger or backstabber, don't tell them your secrets!

ZombieKitten said:

Ahh, wisdom.

ZombieKitten said:

genuine people can end up hurting you too though, that's the thing.

evenstar3 said:

Yes, that's the tricky part. Whom to trust -- particularly in light of the fact that all people are fallible and flawed, and prone to hurt even the ones they love?

Calligraphy said:

not everyone knows how to act in a tricky situation I guess

ZombieKitten said:

No, loving and trusting become choices. And, we move to a place where, after we've made those choices (in light of the risk of further pain), we absolve the other people in advance of any pain they might cause us. That's a big step I wish I could say I was good at taking.

Calligraphy said:

I mean the other party - I guess even the most genuine people also makes mistakes and may not know the most tactful way to handle a situation, or may not even be aware of the way their friend feels. I guess I am already absolving aren't I. God, I am such a parent always see things from both sides

big for you Meg... hope you're ok hon

ZombieKitten said:

That's true.

This has happened to me, to many time to name. That is why I have a real hard time trusting anyone.

I have the same answers as alot of the previous ones.
It's just really hard because in the long run, you learn that no one can fully be trusted.. no one. Because even the ones that you've given your heart and soul to, and they have you.. may do something to break a barrier.

It's just hard to know who to trust and who not too.
I didn't learn that until recently when my best friend of 4 years did something to me.. you know. I thought that within those 4 years I'd gotten to fully know and trust her, but she is prime example of the fact that not even the best of people can be fully trusted.


But, you live and you learn and with that you've just gotta move on.

meggy said:

That's happened to me more times than I can count. You never really get over it but the best thing to do is to get far, far away from them. Don't associate with that person at all anymore.

meggy said:

Yes... had it happen several times. Though more often than not people become really good friends under those circumstances.

Bottom line is I have to be me. I won't change my personality because somebody else chooses to be a asshole. My rule of thumb is 'I will trust you until you give me reason not to...'

Then I'm done.

violator said:

i need to learn that.

evenstar3 said:

It's not easy. And it definitely doesn't work for everyone.

Yes
I hope it gets better for u hun

yes just recently in fact by a few people over the same topic..trying 2 sell me up the river by saying i said something i did not. now i think i've lost one of my closest confidants over this ..but time will tell.

meggy all i can say is u can c their true colors now and even tho it hurts now, another door will open
[Edited 8/27/07 22:28pm]

yes, and why I don't have very many women friends

Yes.

Cut them out completely.
I am not gonna be as soft and forgiving as I once was.

Sorry to hear your sad news Meggy

Well they're not really your friend then are they so I wouldn't get too upset about it.