I was watching Oprah a little while ago, it was about staying home and working moms and the decision a woman makes after having children. Some moms were convinved that staying home with the kids was the best while the other half, the working moms felt they could still do a good job with raising kids and work at the same time. I have one daughter and have always worked, yes I do feel like I have missed out on a lot but I can't be a stay at home mom, that would have been ideal for me but being single thats out of the question. I have felt guilty at times that I am not there to take/pick her up from school, or be there for school events which is what i miss out on the most since those are the hours I am working.

What are your opinions on this subject?

My opinion is that this is a sticky subject.

But, in an ideal world would you liked to have stayed at home with her?

Well.

You can blame the stupid womens lib people for NOT being able too.

UGH!

Stay at home Mom or Working Mom, doesn't matter, as long as you love your children, and do the best you can, that is what they will remember.

Whatever works best for the woman and her family is up to her and them. That's gonna vary from person to person.
If you have the means and desire to stay home with your children, good on you.
If you desire work outside of the home in addition to raising your children, good on you too.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Yes I would have rather stayed home maybe have a part time job while she was in school but be there for her the rest of time she wasnt

You stay at home, right?

veronikka said:

My opinion is that it is a personal decision and the mother has to make the decision that is going to be best for her family. A happy mother makes a happy child. There are some quality day care centers out there. I'm a stay at home mom. Lucky to be blessed that I can do that. It was the right decision for me. My husband is in the Air Force and we have never lived near family or in one place. I know that sometimes I get jealous of working moms that get to get out of the house and have adult conversation and earn their own money. My husband has NEVER made me feel bad about not working. He wanted it that way too. He never gives me a hard time about money either. I'm sure you do the very best you can do with your situation. Your daughter is going to learn how to be a strong woman and mother who knows how to take care of herself from you and that's wonderful!

We should just seriously all get along and stop being so judgemental.

veronikka said:

Yeah, I do.

Don't feel guilty.

You do whats best for your daughter. Atr least you care.

Your a great mom!

All great advice. We have some super Mommy's on the org!
[Edited 8/14/07 17:05pm]

sometimes its better to just collect a check from the government

There was this woman on the show that said that still after so many years she still felt guilty about not being there for her kids when they were smaller. Her now adult daughter was there and they asked her how she felt about her mom not being there and she said she always felt loved as a child and felt her mother handeled it all very well.

I know that I can't be here for my daughter as much as I like but I definetely let her know she is loved every day

MoniGram said:

Yes we do

Depends on the job, and the options.

MissMe said:

I'm not sure I know what you mean by depends on the job... can you elaborate?

CarrieMpls said:

I have friends who bring in better money than their partner, so the Daddy stays at home, the Mom bringing in the main income.

Others by choice, the Mom stays in work, the Dad bored in work, is the house husband.
A Mom can keep her job, but find she is at a loss at others looking after her baby, or not (or it is too erxpensive). Or the company can have benefits for childcare etc etc. There are alot of factors to look into these days.

I can't really remember a time where I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I'm very career driven and ambitious so staying home doesn't appeal to me. I actually wish I had a partner that wanted to stay home and raise my babies because I do recognize that I am away from home a lot. I go to work and I come home drained and exhausted and wanting to not talk to anyone. I got lucky: for the most part i have great kids and they realize (sometimes) that I do what I do so we can have the things we need as well as want.

I work in an environment that affords me flexable hours. I work the hours that my kids are in school. So, I drop off and pick-up from school and still have time for the cookie baking and the sorts. Am I stretched thin, god yes. But I get to spend a lot of time with my kids, plus make a few bucks on the side. What do I do for a living? I am one of 3 personal assistants to a very famous lawyer here in my home town. I have worked for him for 21 years, so I pick and choose my hours. And the rest of the time I get to spend doing mommy things. I am very lucky, I have the best of both worlds. If I could afford it though, I would chose to stay home full time.

I want to sell my children

My thoughts are it is better to stay home with your child, if you can financially, than to go to work. It gives you a more hands on relationship and the children will be more well-rounded.

greenpixies said:

they say instead of working 3 jobs to keep your kids in private school, work one job and send your kid to public school - spend the extra time with your kids instead, they will be better humans.

ZombieKitten said:

I say home school your kids. Then you're with them all day.

greenpixies said:

no way!!!!!

how many kids you have?

ZombieKitten said:

I don't have any but once people have kids they have to rise to the occasion and be responsible.

greenpixies said:

I might have said that too, once upon a time, and THEN I HAD KIDS!

greenpixies said:

By home schooling them and making them social rejects?

ZombieKitten said:

Well, what can I say. People set certain standards in their life when it comes to parenting and these standards are objective and they try to not let their subjective experience corrupt that. But it aint easy! That's true. No one ever said life was easy. Shoot. I know that.

JustErin said:

No. You expose them to social situations to develope that aspect of their personhood.

I've personally never met a socially normal home schooled kid.

greenpixies said:

can you explain this in simpler terms please?

MoniGram said: