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PrintableCarrieMpls said: Imago said: That sound great until you actually have to raise children. My sister and brother-in-law are having to protect my nephews in ways they never thought they had to. The world is not benign Ariel, and you of all folks should know that. Parents need to know what they're kids are doing up until the point in which you are talking about, which could range from 15 to friggen 35 depending on the child  But I think both approaches can work, it really depends on the child. Ariel's approach is in my mind ideal, just not always practical, and won't work for every child. But it's not to say it can't. PS - Ultimately, Dan should not be dating me. I just had to put that in there. but he is 
Yes, my approach can't always work, but then again, there's no one solution to anything. Every person is different. I believe that policing is not a way to teach someone how to grow to be independent. Someone being policed will always count on you to police them. What happens when you're not available anymore? Who will police them then? That's why I believe it's best to teach them how to think for themselves. explain to them the reasons why things are good or bad, in a way they can understand, and not just accept it because you said so. | |
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CarrieMpls said: Imago said: That sound great until you actually have to raise children. My sister and brother-in-law are having to protect my nephews in ways they never thought they had to. The world is not benign Ariel, and you of all folks should know that. Parents need to know what they're kids are doing up until the point in which you are talking about, which could range from 15 to friggen 35 depending on the child But I think both approaches can work, it really depends on the child. Ariel's approach is in my mind ideal, just not always practical, and won't work for every child. But it's not to say it can't. PS - Ultimately, Dan should not be dating me. I just had to put that in there. Oh I agree with Ariel that it is an ideal way of raising a child. My parents were extremely permissive with me, mostly because I grew up in a dysfunctional family, but it was just blind luck that I didn't become addicted to any of the drugs I sampled, didn't get caught up in the wrong crowd, etc. etc. If my mom know 1/3 rd of the shit I did, she'd be mortified. I really think that parents taking a cautious approach may seem intrusive, but it can be quite helpful. And the Internet is the last place a kid needs to be completely unsupervised. My sister and brother-in-law have already decided my nephew's personal computers won't have internet access, but the computer in the Living room will. | |
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Imago said: CarrieMpls said: But I think both approaches can work, it really depends on the child. Ariel's approach is in my mind ideal, just not always practical, and won't work for every child. But it's not to say it can't. PS - Ultimately, Dan should not be dating me. I just had to put that in there. Oh I agree with Ariel that it is an ideal way of raising a child. My parents were extremely permissive with me, mostly because I grew up in a dysfunctional family, but it was just blind luck that I didn't become addicted to any of the drugs I sampled, didn't get caught up in the wrong crowd, etc. etc. If my mom know 1/3 rd of the shit I did, she'd be mortified. I really think that parents taking a cautious approach may seem intrusive, but it can be quite helpful. And the Internet is the last place a kid needs to be completely unsupervised. My sister and brother-in-law have already decided my nephew's personal computers won't have internet access, but the computer in the Living room will. My parents were extremely permissive as well and I'm not sure how well it served me... I grew up very fast and learned everything on my own and I like that, and I liked it then. But I never learned discipline. And I wonder if they had been just the eensiest bit more strict if I'd have benefitted from that. The other side of the coin, is truly, how "damaging" to children are these things we're so afriad of them seeing and hearing on the internet? I agree that there is age appropriateness to certain images and such, but there are vast varying degrees of maturity and intellectual capacities when you reach the teens. There's a great book I've got somewhere looking at censorship in america and how it has been done in the name of "protecting" children and what that supposedly really means. |
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CarrieMpls said: Imago said: Oh I agree with Ariel that it is an ideal way of raising a child. My parents were extremely permissive with me, mostly because I grew up in a dysfunctional family, but it was just blind luck that I didn't become addicted to any of the drugs I sampled, didn't get caught up in the wrong crowd, etc. etc. If my mom know 1/3 rd of the shit I did, she'd be mortified. I really think that parents taking a cautious approach may seem intrusive, but it can be quite helpful. And the Internet is the last place a kid needs to be completely unsupervised. My sister and brother-in-law have already decided my nephew's personal computers won't have internet access, but the computer in the Living room will. My parents were extremely permissive as well and I'm not sure how well it served me... I grew up very fast and learned everything on my own and I like that, and I liked it then. But I never learned discipline. And I wonder if they had been just the eensiest bit more strict if I'd have benefitted from that. The other side of the coin, is truly, how "damaging" to children are these things we're so afriad of them seeing and hearing on the internet? I agree that there is age appropriateness to certain images and such, but there are vast varying degrees of maturity and intellectual capacities when you reach the teens. There's a great book I've got somewhere looking at censorship in america and how it has been done in the name of "protecting" children and what that supposedly really means. I'm don't mean censorship so much as "knowing" what they're seeing on the Internet. They can learn alot from blogs, wikipedia and those awful gore sites, but I think a parents should know what they're browsing. And yes, I do think there's a point where parents have to "let go" and trust that they've instilled those values in their kid. But let's there are 15 year olds on the org right now, and some of the shit we talk about  is just plain stank. | |
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Imago said: CarrieMpls said: My parents were extremely permissive as well and I'm not sure how well it served me... I grew up very fast and learned everything on my own and I like that, and I liked it then. But I never learned discipline. And I wonder if they had been just the eensiest bit more strict if I'd have benefitted from that. The other side of the coin, is truly, how "damaging" to children are these things we're so afriad of them seeing and hearing on the internet? I agree that there is age appropriateness to certain images and such, but there are vast varying degrees of maturity and intellectual capacities when you reach the teens. There's a great book I've got somewhere looking at censorship in america and how it has been done in the name of "protecting" children and what that supposedly really means. I'm don't mean censorship so much as "knowing" what they're seeing on the Internet. They can learn alot from blogs, wikipedia and those awful gore sites, but I think a parents should know what they're browsing. And yes, I do think there's a point where parents have to "let go" and trust that they've instilled those values in their kid. But let's there are 15 year olds on the org right now, and some of the shit we talk about is just plain stank.True. And I think it's something we should keep in mind. Don't post anything you wouldn't want your own 15 year old son, daughter, niece or nephew to read.  |
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