What kind of machine do you think that they would build?

I would hope that they would build some sort of machine that would lure hunters to the same place over and over so that the deer could slaughter them by the thousands!

Hell... we need to thin out their numbers or the hunters will die.

Let me give you another idea...

I think that a group of very brilliant deer might very well create a machine that would cause a rip in the space-time continuum or they might harness the power of a black hole and use an Einstein-Rosen Bridge to travel through alternate dimensions in search of the meaning of life.

...
[This message was edited Thu Oct 3 19:33:10 PDT 2002 by IceNine]

Now that I think of it... I suppose that a group of enterprising deer might very well invent a machine to revolutionize the car wash industry... they would take the money that they made from the invention and invest it in a factory that makes toilet seat protectors for hotel chains.

Then again... industrious deer might very well build a machine that would build machines that make miniature schnauzers... they would then sell these schnauzers at flea markets and swap meets for a heft profit which they would invest in orange juice futures and then hope for a good growing season.

...
[This message was edited Thu Oct 3 19:32:32 PDT 2002 by IceNine]

all very good ideas. someone get the deer on this, pronto!

An inventive group of deer could possibly build a machine that would translate all classic novels into pig latin. This invention would make them absolutely no money, but they would have the satisfaction of a job well done.

working to bring those posting numbers up again, IceNine?

AaronForever said:

I am just bored while waiting for MrBlues to humiliate himself further on that other topic... :LOL:

IceNine said:

don't you just hate that? that's why i like Nep2nes. she's always got some good material loaded up and ready to blow. i do so love that she's consistent and frequent.

AaronForever said:

Yeah, some people have thought that mrsblues might very well be neppy... but he is faaar to stupid to be nep2nes... she actually has some sense of humor and accidentally comes up with a good one every once in a while, whereas mrsblues couldn't say anything funny, even if he was reading a Monty Python script!

:LOL:

IceNine said:

check the record. has he ever said "suck one" or "eat my ass" ?

AaronForever said:

I don't think that he/she/it is capable of functioning at that high an intellectual level... if so, I certainly haven't seen it.

Nep2nes is Einstein compared to this creature.

:LOL:

After a late-night epiphany, the leader of a deer colony might very well form a cult of born again deer that would then build a machine that carves hunter effigy statues. The statues would be fused with the power of the deer god, Plemoneth and would carry a curse on all hunters and consumers of deer products.

A group of deer film buffs might invent a machine that would telepathically connect with the mind of David Lynch and decipher the REAL symbolism in his movies, they would then write books about the movies, generating millions of dollars in revenue which would be invested in a cinema renaissance and revitalization of creativity in cinema.

There are so many goddamn deer on my campus. I see them everyday and they aren't afraid of people at all. They're really sweet and their antlers are starting to come in... they're just fuzzy bumps on top of their heads.

Natsume said:

Yes, but what machine would they build if they could, Natsume?

Natsume said:

Maybe these deer can band together and invent an antler buffing machine that will it unnecessary for them to rub their antlers all over things...

AzureStar said:

You mean I have to think? I thought I could just ramble on about my deer... damn.

Okay... let's see... fuck. There's a drug bust outside. This is much too entertaining.

Given just under three years, a medium-sized group of intellectual deer could band together and invent a machine that would perfect the polishing of eggplant and squash for supermarkets around the globe. The machines would also double as a tennis ball machine and a juice maker. With a few more years of research, the deer would be able to modify the device and set out on a mission to Pluto where they would mine the icy lunar surface for pure Plutonian water which they would sell on Earth for $5,000,000 per bottle.

IceNine said:

The sad thing is that we would actually buy them!

IceNine said:


OMG. This is the best one yet. You are too funny. A very active imagination you have there Ice.

Several resourceful deer came up with a genetic mutating machine that replaces their natural god-given tails with feather dusters. Also, the chemical composition of their intestinal track is altered so that gas is turned into a highly concentrated form of Lemon Pledge. With these 2 assets, they embark on an extremely successful house cleaning service. Their work is unparalleled. Because they have nothing better to do with their time than eat grass, they do a very thorough job.

I think deer would probably invent a machine that builds pick up trucks with comfortable hoods. Maybe some sort of sheep skin lining?

Yes, and they'd probably make those deer sensor thingies come standard on every vehicle ever.

The Associated Press reported the following today:

Snohomish, WA - Harvey Glatnick, Associated Press

Scientists today have discovered a highly organized group of deer who are working to perfect a machine the size of a matchbox that will create nuclear fusion reactions in excited helium gas. The deer say that the device will be approximately 56,186,874.64823 times safer than any known nuclear fission device as long as it is not used by clowns or other helium balloon fetishists. The deer warn that using the device near a child's birthday party could possibly start a massive helium fusion reaction that would grow logarithmically as it assimilated the world's supply of helium.

Clowns are not amused, and they believe that the device is nothing more than a clown unemployment machine. A group of concerned clowns, the Clowns Against Deer - or CAD, has already formed and issued a statement. "We are very confused" say the disgruntled clowns, "What did we ever do to these deer and why do they think that clean, free power for the world is more important than balloon animals and birthday parties?"

The CAD group has postulated that the deer might have more nefarious motivations for creating the helium fusion device. A theory circulating among the most seasoned clowns is that the invention is both a helium fusion device and a helium collection device that is meant to purposely steal the world's supply of helium, thus allowing them to paint their antlers funny colors and take over the clown business.

When asked about these assertions, the deer stated that their intentions are noble and that their helium fusion device could be used to power another device that they have invented for clowns. The second invention, they say, is a static electricity based device that harnesses the electric potential of balloons and couples it to a ground state repelling the balloons from the ground, thus making them float. The deer have also stated that the device contains an ionic amplifier/reducer circuit that can be utilized to make ballons float indefinitely at specific heights.

...
[This message was edited Fri Oct 4 5:28:12 PDT 2002 by IceNine]

maybe some sorta rube goldberg-ish doohickey, perhaps...

I think that a group of deer trained in design principles would invent a "sexy" car that would appeal to the narcissistic types among the male human population. These "sexy" cars would almost certainly get horny, testosterone-driven men laid by shallow, materialistic women who cling to status symbols. Since there is no shortage of narcissistic men who cannot get laid without the aid of flashy cars and there is also no shortage of gold-digging women who would do anything to think that they were involved with a man of importance... a man who could drive such a "sexy" car... in short, a money man... the cars would sell out everywhere, INSTANTLY.

The deer could expect revenue totalling up to fifty-nine billion dollars in the first year alone. The crafty deer would, of course, make slight modifications to the car each year in a planned obsolescence scheme to keep men buying the cars and women fucking them for them.

The clever deer will invest the revenues into a company that makes fake human pheromones to attract women... these products will not work at all, but men will flock to the stores to buy them because they are unable to attract women with their personality, charm and intelligence.

It seems that deer have an insight into human behavior.

...
[This message was edited Fri Oct 4 7:22:30 PDT 2002 by IceNine]

I would have wanted them to invent that tennis ball machines.

When they spot a hunter in one of those orange vest, bombs away! Innundated with tennis balls. can you just see them.
[This message was edited Fri Oct 4 7:46:58 PDT 2002 by sag10]

sag10 said:

omg...yes, i could see that...

i would say a machine that can total a car with a single blow.

oops, they already have one ...
[This message was edited Fri Oct 4 9:09:28 PDT 2002 by sparxxxtresss]