Who is Jack Schitt?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find
ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids
were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was
then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with
a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

knock knock

who's there?

I eat mop.

you eat mop who?

Calligraphy said:

You ruined it!!

CarrieMpls said:

i'm still tramatized by teaspoon's "filthy colon" link
that bit of nastiness should have had a warning!!

After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was
nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, "What the hell happened?"

"As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss," replied the wife.
"Piss on him," answered the husband.
"You did," said the wife, "and he fired you."
"Well, fuck him," said the husband.
"I did, and you go back to work in the morning."

two blondes were walking down the street. one of them picks up a compact mirror, looks in it and says," i know her!" the other blonde takes the mirror from her, looks in it and says, "of course you do, silly...it's me!"

emm said:

That was great!

Here's the joke, I didn't write it, I just think it's funny.I did have the chance to tell it to Jeff Beck at a bar one time.

This mother and her daughter are taking a walk through the park and the little girl looks into a car and see's a woman's head on a man's lap and she says,"Mommy, what are those two people doing?" and the mother says, "Oh honey they are just making fishsticks, don't worry about it." They keep walking and she sees a woman on her knees behind a tree, with a man, and the girl says, "Mommy what are those people doing?" The Mom says, "they are just making fishsticks honey, don't worry about it." So the Mother and daughter go home.
The little girl goes to bed and the mother goes to bed with her husband.
In the middle of the night, the girl calls out, "Mommy, could you bring me a glass of water." The mother brings the water and the little girl sits up in bed and says, "Mommy, were you and Daddy making fishsticks?" She said yes honey how could you tell? And the little girl said, "well, you've got a little bit of tarter sauce on your chin."