By Ray Richmond
Thu Aug 16, 11:49 PM ET



LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Merv Griffin was gay.

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Why should that be so uncomfortable to read? Why is it so difficult to write? Why are we still so jittery even about raising the issue in purportedly liberal-minded Hollywood, in 2007?

Griffin, who died of prostate cancer Sunday at 82, stayed in the closet throughout his life. Perhaps he figured it was preferable to remain the object of gossip rather than live openly as "one of them."

But how tremendously sad it is that a man of Merv's renown, of his gregarious nature and social dexterity, would feel compelled to endure such a stealthy double life even as the gay community's clout, and its levels of acceptance and equality, rose steadily from the ashes of ignorance.

What a powerful message Griffin might have sent had he squired his male companions around town rather than Eva Gabor, his longtime good friend and platonic public pal. Imagine the amount of good Merv could have done as a well-respected, hugely successful, beloved and uncloseted gay man in embodying a positive image.

I had more than a passing acquaintance with him, having worked on "The Merv Griffin Show" as a talent coordinator/segment producer in 1985-86 as the show was winding down. Around the office, Merv's being gay was understood but rarely discussed (and certainly never with him). We knew nothing of his relationships because he guarded his privacy fiercely, and we didn't pry.

Merv's secret gay life was widely known throughout showbiz culture, if not the wider America. It gained traction in 1991 when he was targeted in a pair of lawsuits: by "Dance Fever" host Denny Terrio, alleging sexual harassment; and by assistant Brent Plott seeking $200 million in palimony. Both ultimately were dismissed.

Over the past 16 years of his life, however, Griffin deflected the sexuality questions with a quip, determining that his private life remained nobody's business. He certainly didn't owe us an explanation, but maybe he owed it to himself to remove the suffocating veil he'd been forced to hide behind throughout his adult life. Then again, Merv carved his niche in the entertainment world at a time when being gay wasn't OK, when disclosure was unthinkable and the allegation alone could deep-six one's career.

If you're Griffin, why would you think a judgmental culture would be any more tolerant as you grew into middle and old age? Even in the capital of entertainment -- in a business where homosexuality isn't exactly a rare phenomenon -- it's still spoken of in hushed tones or, more often, not at all. And Merv's brush with tabloid scandal no doubt only drove him further into the closet.

While it would seem everything has changed today, little actually has. You can count on the fingers of one hand, or at most two, the number of high-powered stars, executives and public figures who have come out. Those who don't can't really be faulted, as rarely do honesty and full disclosure prove a boon to one's showbiz livelihood.

Nonetheless, the elephant that was his sexual orientation never really stopped following Griffin from room to room. He could duck it for a while, but it would always find him. It's disheartening that Merv had to die to shake it for good.

Reuters/Hollywood Reporter

Is that all about the question over someone's sexuality? Who the fuck is paying these journalists?!

JDInteractive said:

I agree!

I don't really care if he was gay or not. I did not know him personally but just based on the reaction to his death, he was a kind, inovative, well liked person who did a lot of good. That's enough for me.

If he was gay, great. If he was bi, great. If he was straight, great. If he chose to keep his private life private, great. None of this changes the person he was or his body of work.

Sowhat said:

[quote:81771c0124]

JDInteractive said:

[quote:81771c0124]Is that all about the question over someone's sexuality? Who the fuck is paying these journalists?![/quote:81771c0124]


I agree!

I don't really care if he was gay or not. I did not know him personally but just based on the reaction to his death, he was a kind, inovative, well liked person who did a lot of good. That's enough for me.

If he was gay, great. If he was bi, great. If he was straight, great. If he chose to keep his private life private, great. None of this changes the person he was or his body of work.[/quote:81771c0124]


I remember Terrio's lawsuit. During an interview on Howard Stern, he said that Merv came on to him in a hotel room.
[Edited 8/17/07 14:15pm]
[Edited 8/17/07 14:16pm]

i thought everyone knew

I met Merv a few times years ago and he was a warm wonderful generous man. He paid very careful attention to your name and did not forget it nor fail to address you with it always. He also came off a fiercly private man and it was well known he was gay! Not everyone wishes to be a flagship and or feels they want to be known for their sexuality versus the whole other rest of who they are.

May he rest in peace

Of course he could have led the way and come out of the closet, but he was from a different era, where that simply wasn't accepted. Even Liberace didn't come out. In fact I think you can be sued for publicly claiming he was gay.

I'm sure that the people to whom it really mattered knew the truth, and that's what matters.

Did someone say "gay"?

I don't know Merv Griffin, but if he was gay, good for him.

JDInteractive said:

He was friendly with the Reagans whilst they were in the White House and the U.S. Government was ignoring the early-80s AIDS crisis. He could have used his position to influence funding into AIDS research from the Reagan Administration - but didn't.

I've said it before and I'll say it again... If I could "out" everybody by putting something in the water to make every queer's hair turn green overnight, I'd do it tomorrow.

I'm aware that everybody is entitled to their privacy, but so long as the law enforces inequality determined by a person's private sexual orientation, then it's a political issue... Consequently, parading around with a beard like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sister becomes a political statement.

I think that "closeted" is too ambiguous a term to use... I have no problem with Jodie Foster not publically stating her lesbianism, because she's never maintained otherwise (with a pretence of fake boyfriends or a sham marriage, for instance). My scorn is reserved for those whom make every effort to deny their homosexuality - not those whom simply don't say either way.

was it merv griffin and ru paul who got in a fight during the MTV video awards some time ago?

ru paul called him a queen or some such?

JasmineFire said:

That was Milton Berle

Its amazing that with all his money and influence he was still scared/ashamed of being who he was.

Thankfully times have changed and the gay kids don't feel the stigma.

lazycrockett said:

Well its all up to the individual, money is useless really, its the way the person wants to handle it, and back then it was a career ending thing basically or at least very damaging. People forget that Merv was actually on longer than Johnny Carson as a TV host, not comparing them, but it was quite an accomplishment, he really interviewed some "REAL" people on that show, i saw some clips with Dr.King, Malcolm X, JFK, right there that puts him over anyone coming after him.

The more interesting thing is that this takes me back to after Freddie Mercury died and Magic Johnson HIV positive was on the Arsenio Hall show and they were talking how "freddie should have come out and been an advocate and spokesperson" i seriously wanted to punch both of them dead in the face, it was the most moronic statement ever.

lazycrockett said:

Just because he never came out professionally doesn't necesarily mean he was either of those things.

lastdecember said:

Oh I didn't mean back when he had a television show and all I meant more after he retired and became a mogul. That would be in the late 90's bout 20 yrs after Stonewall. When society had changed so much and was more accepting. He could have been a great distinguished and elderly role model.