Imago said:

Do you ever fear you're being fetishized?

I've been with dudes that ask "You're Mexican right?" That turns me off.

ZombieKitten said:

I had a girlfriend who was a freak when I met her and a freak throughout the years of our "associations".....who eventually "went(?)" gay....was it because of me? I honestly always hoped that it was because in my mind (ITS MY MIND SO ... ) that would mean that she was so addicted to what my d*&k did that there was no other man who could match up.....

....but I'm thinking she was always gay and I was an experiment of sorts....

weepingwall said:

Am I on the bus? Are you calling me ignorant?! Yes, I know most people are very capable of floating about, some of us aren't, me being one of them!

I can remember finding dirty magazines when I was around 4 or 5 and getting hard as a rock whenever I would see a dick. I can't remember ever not being turned on by men.

I knew in the back of my mind my whole life that I was gay but I refused to accept it or act upon it until I was 22.

HamsterHuey said:

Damn, I'm late and don't have time to read this whole thread.

Please tell me someone made an Imago joke.

(If not, let me know and I'll try to think of something quick!)

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

I won't call it a fear, but I do suspect it often.


With gay men it's pretty obvious when someone takes an immediate keen interest in me that 7 out of 10 times, it's going to be someone into Rice.

No biggie, other than I feel like an object when that happens.

Imago said:

YOU'RE ASIAN, RIGHT?

Imago said:

OMG, I won't even go into the Asian fetishists in the gay community. Rice Queens

Hey Supa.

I tried answering this yesterday but had to give up in the end. I honestly don't know where to start.

I would definitely belong amongst that group of people who didn't know they were gay until Uni. Okay, that's not strictly true - if I'd looked deep inside my heart and actually *processed* those feelings, I would have had to admit it. Plus, deep down, I KNEW I was gay but I fought so desperately against those feelings, I didn't allow them to rise to the surface. Which is why I nearly went absolutely bananas in university and, in the end, nature showed me the way, as opposed to the other way around.

The one response I relate to most on this thread is the one posted by Fauxie. Not the straight bit but I was so shy growing up, so innocent, so introverted in my teens that no-one really batted an eyelid towards me. I (sorta) knew what sex was - in a very limited way - but my life revolved around my small group of friends and my devotion to music. I was asexual, almost - I just didn't think about getting laid, had no interest in sex as such. I was just 'there'.

Of course, like others have said, people were saying that I was gay from about 6 or 7. And if you grew up in a small town like I did, EVERYONE knows you as the resident homo. Whether you like it or not. My response was to rally against that - NO-ONE was going to tell me who I was or I wasn't. Plus, I didn't want to be gay - the way people referred to me as if I was scum of the earth, why would I want to be that? Plus, my father... let's not go there. Add to the fact that because everyone automatically assumed I was gay, girls went nowhere near me and - apart from my mates - the lads stayed away from me. So I wasn't exactly in a prime position to experiment either way.

In the weeks leading up to Uni, my best friend and I spent more and more time together. We were inseperable already... I think we thought our lives would collapse when we separated by going to different Unis. At one point he waved his dick in my face and 'offered' it to me. I shooed him away I wasn't gay, remember. Then he sent me a letter in my first week of Uni saying that he was in love with me. Again, I dismissed this gesture and told him not to be so silly. I think it was more MY way of coping with things, really - we've spoken about it since but it rarely gets mentioned. I sometimes wonder what if...

Then I went to Uni, had a few incidents with women, fell head over heels in love with one of my best friends (I would need the rest of this decade to do justice to that story) and was no longer in a position to deny it; I thought about him every single second of the day. I would kid myself that we were just friends; this was despite the fact that I went to bed every single night wishing something would happen between us. I had never felt like that about anyone - male or female - in my entire life. I was smitten. To cut a long story short, I came out, hardly anyone was surprised and the rest is history.

I have tried to explain to many people over the years what was going through my head exactly during that period. It's impossible, almost. But I think when you want to believe in something so strongly - in my case, that I wasn't gay - you can almost convince yourself. I can remember being a teenager and watching movies and as soon as it got to the love scene, I would catch myself staring at the guy's chest but then, in an instant, banish those thoughts from my head. Almost like an exorcism. It was, like, 'Begone!'. I would make those thoughts disappear and think 'You are straight. You are straight'. And I managed to to that so successfully, I actually believed it. When I took communion each Sunday, I thought the same three things: 'Look after my Gran, look after my mother, please don't make me gay'. Every single week. THAT worked. Again, I was so determined *not* to be what everyone thought I was - especially because, due to the way I was treated, there was so much 'shame' in being gay - I did everything in my power to block out those feelings. I cannot put it any more simpler than that.

So, yeah, it was completely obvious to everyone from an early age - except me. I was in comlete denial. Denial, denial, denial. What a ridiculous way to live your life. But I knew no better.

I am so glad that period of my life is over.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

It's really odd. I never understood the fascination with Asians among some in the community. We're not known to be brimming with masculinity.

Wow!!!! Thank you for sharing Alun!



OK, denial is the key word here. You weren't really confused as to how you felt, you knew what you felt and you fought it so deep down inside you did know. you didn't just wake up one day and had gay feelings

OK, I have known since I was 4 and my aunt told my mom I was gay when I was 6 months old! She was with us one day and she looked down at me and then looked up at my mom and told her He's gay. Of course my religious mother foamed at the mouth when she said that but guess what, SHE WAS RIGHT!

Imago said:

You have no idea how hard I've gotten dissed because my eyes weren't slanted enough

It's similar to the guys who go to the bar by my house looking for Mexican or Latin American guys who are like illegal aliens. No kidding. And to boot, they go to the club looking for them when they are all chica'd out in their drag I speak English, my skin isn't dark and I'm dressed in boys clothes. Nope, no chance for me there

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I wonder if it's a cochiencous choice? Kind of like when homosexuals are accused of "choosing to be gay", which of course is silly.

But with these race fetishes, I would think it's a choice. Albeit, I prefer tan/olive skin above other skin tones (though I'm also partial to pale skin on whites), I wouldn't call it a choice. It's just determines where my eye stops when scanning a room.

onenitealone said:

When I meet you next year, please don't block out those feelings. I want you to bring the on hard in 2008.

This thread sucks.

Cloudbuster said:

It's OK to come out cloudy this thread is safe for that

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

You turd.

Cloudbuster said:

You forgot the toast:

Oh. Thanks.

Your thread just made me realize I am gay.
Let's have sex. Now!

FuNkeNsteiN said:

jess555ja said:

FuNkeNsteiN said:

jess555ja said:

Ok, I'm back to being straight.
Let's have some hot kinky sex right now, mama!

FuNkeNsteiN said:

I knew you being gay wouldn't last long

I find it hard to... I can't find the right word...

I guess I just can't imagine not knowing (or acknowledging) that you're gay.

I knew I was different from as far back as I can remember. I realised there was a word for it when I was ten years old - but I always knew.

Excellent post and it is a carbon copy of my life.....except the part of never thinking about sex. I thought about naked men all the time because I couldn't help but be turned by them. However, I refused to even let the thought of being with a man enter my head.