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Thread started 09/30/02 10:13pm

Housequake2K2

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THE STAR TREK MOVIE THEY NEVER WANTED YOU TO SEE...

I went browsing through some uncharted regions of cyber-
space and found something that was so chilling, so
unearthly, I thought to myself, "What should I do with
this?" and quickly came to the answer: Share it with the
org and let them figure out what to do with it. It's a
script to a Star Trek movie titled "From M to Q."

To paraphrase the plot, it begins with a bored Q that hasn't
thought of a new way to mess with mankind, esp. Jean-Luc
Picard. The epiphany he reaches causes him to go back in
time and messs with mankind's history by giving someone
insignificant the power of Q, stand back, and let the
fireworks fly. In an instant, Q transports himself to the
year 1992 on Earth, in the city of Minneapolis, hangin' out
in front of 1st Avenue.

Q decides, the first person I look at, I'm giving him the
power of Q. Let's see how Picard likes this anomaly!!1
Q closes his eyes for a few seconds, turns his head, and as soon as he opens his eyes, he grants the first person he
sees the power of Q...

***TONY M***

In a cascading flash of light, Tony M becomes TONY Q,
a talentless rapper given omnipotent abilities.
As he was humming 1999 to himself, the sky literally turns
purple, and the people of Minneapolis (and the rest of the
world) are in a state of panic. Has the end come? If
it were only true...

TONY Q quickly adapts to his newfound power, and does
the unimaginable---he pollutes ALL of Prince's music (pre-
Tony M, pre-NPG) w/Tony Q rapping!!! All the musical
masterpieces desecrated (as if the symbol album weren't
enough) w/Tony Q!!! That's not enough, all the music
becomes written arranged produced and composed by TONY Q,
as Prince suddenly ceases to exist. TONY Q thinks, we
don't need that skinny MF w/ the high voice anymore anyway!
TONY Q is gonna be bigger than Prince, than Hammer...

...and in a flash, all rap music is TONY Q music.
Punchdrunk w/this power, he continues an assualt on music
that has does irreparable harm to the space/time continuoum...

Back to the 24th century...

Earth is a massive techno-organic pod of its former self,
as is the rest of the solar system and half the galaxy for that matter. The only unaffected human transport is the
Enterprise (barely shielded from TONY Q's power by Q himself). Q realizes the huge error he's made as he
rushes to Capt. Picard for help. The crew can't understand
why all their uniforms are purple and have Q insignias
instead standard Starfleet badges. The Enterprise's
computer just keeps saying "Ign-Ign-Ign-Ign-Ign-Ign-Ign-
Ign-Ign-Ign-Ign-Ign-Ignorant" whenever a crew member asks
a question. Then Q appears and explains how his latest
prank goes horribly wrong. The Borg have their armor
decorated in purple and gold NPG daishikis and they do a
mechanized dance, chanting: "You gotta be a Tony M before
you're a Tony Q anyway!"

Q flashes Picard and the crew back in time to 20 minutes before his tampering w/humanity's destiny. Riker firsthand
hears' a demo of the tape that got Tony M into Prince's
band. He shares it with Picard, and upon hearing it
makes the command "We must ensure that this never comes
to fruition. The prime directive be damned!!"

The Captain and his 1st Officer run to Paisley Park Studios,
quickly take out the security at the front gate and storm
the office. They see Prince about to shake Tony M's hand
to say "Welcome to the New Power Gener..." when Riker
jumps into action. He fires his phaser and hits Tony M...

...and he disintegrates!!!

Data stands in shock. "Did you have to kill him sir?" He
asks whimsically. Picard answers, "What's been done has
been done. It can't be any worse than what humanity has
had to suffer with him around."

Q flashes the crew and the Enterprise back to its own time.


3 MONTHS LATER...

Picard waits for Riker to bring his personnel reports.
He's never been 35 minutes late before...

Riker walks in, humming to himself. "What are you singing?"
Picard questions.

"Evidently, it's a bootleg of Tony M from the 20th century.
Somehow it survived to our time and I gave it a listen, and
it's really quite good..."

ZZZRRRAAAKKKTTT!!!

Picard had just killed Riker in cold blood. Or did he?
"That's not funny at all Q!!! You know the damage your
latest miscue caused havoc for your people as well as mine!"

Q appears. "OK OK OK. You've made your point Picard. As a
thank you, not that I would ever say thank you to a human, but I will grant you one wish for your help in correcting
my "problem"."

Picard thinks for a second. Q shouts "Sounds good to me!"
and flashes Picard away before he could object.



Riker is about to knock on Troi's door when he hears some
loud noises. He knocks the door open to find Troi in bed,
screaming her head off...and Capt Picard (w/a Jeri curl and
purple coat) in bed w/her!!!

Riker's mouth is wide open. Before he can say anything,
the Captain says, "Why be Captain when you can be Prince?"

music to My Name is Prince kicks in instead of
Star Trek theme music

***THE END***

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
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Reply #1 posted 09/30/02 10:28pm

AlfofMelmak

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nuts what you been smoking man lol

tony M with Q powers :chuckle:
You don't scare me; i got kids
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Reply #2 posted 09/30/02 11:09pm

Raspberry

lol ... this is great biggrin
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Reply #3 posted 10/01/02 12:06am

gooeythehamste
r

I'm having what he's having
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Reply #4 posted 10/01/02 1:06am

origmnd

Ain't as good as the Prince
"secret script" with Magoo as the pimp
running 1-800 NEW-MEAT...
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Reply #5 posted 10/01/02 5:56am

PlastikLuvAffa
ir

origmnd said:

Ain't as good as the Prince
"secret script" with Magoo as the pimp
running 1-800 NEW-MEAT...

evillol
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Reply #6 posted 10/01/02 8:43am

tommyalma

That would make an awesome movie. Think about it. Geordi LaForge would still have a hi-top fade.
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Reply #7 posted 10/01/02 7:33pm

Housequake2K2

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AlfofMelmak said:

nuts what you been smoking man lol

tony M with Q powers :chuckle:


It was either that or JWs in Space... lol
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