I came across this on another forum, and I had to post it.
Feel free to add your own. I will post some other ones later.

If a deaf person has to go to court is it still called a hearing?

Why is the time of the day with the slowest traffic called ''rush hour''?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them will they still grow? Only to become troubled and insercure?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

If olive oil comes from olives were does baby oil come from?

There are 24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why are you "in" a movie, but you're "on" TV?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do people who know the least know it loudest?

Why do we call them apartments when they are all stuck together?

Why do ''fat chance'' and ''slim chance'' mean the same thing?
[Edited 7/20/07 3:25am]

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

How fast do hotcakes sell?

Why is dyslexia so hard to spell?

When you choke a Smurf what color does he turn?

Why is the guy who invests your money a broker?

Why didnt Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

MissMe said:

that has got me thinking...does he shave it with sharpened flints??

Maybe he has no body hair at all?...

LittleSmedley said:

I think he has armpit hair and he will have hair on his arms and legs.

LittleSmedley said:

WHY would he shave his beard, when he is the only one in the jungle? How would he know?

MissMe said:

Maybe Jane gets a rash.

LittleSmedley said:

Ok LittleSmedley, I have another one for you:

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
[Edited 7/20/07 4:22am]

MissMe said:

MissMe said:

ur giving me a headache MissMe, my tiny brain can't handle all this thinking
I need to lie down

These are driving me crazy now. I am addicted.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

How come no matter where you go, there you are?

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

What If there were no hypothetical questions?

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.



[Edited 7/20/07 4:44am]

MissMe said:

LittleSmedley said:

Ok, lie down, but answer me this first:

Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed?

jess555ja said:

It's crazy isn't it?
I bet some of these will have you thinking all day.

Do you find it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

Are female moths called myths?

Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

Are there any unguided missles?

What do batteries run on?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetner?

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

Do cemetary workers prefer the graveyard shift?

Do clowns wear really big socks?

Do fish get thirsty?

Why do they call it salvation, when what believers are striving to be saved from was created by the same god they ask to save them from it!?


Do men named, "Chad" actually wince on November 7th?

Where did baby Smurf come from?

Which came first: Racism or stereotypes?!

How is it science conducted enough experiments to confidently affirm goldfish memories last only 3 seconds!?

For pantheists: Is it sacriligious and sadistic to kick rocks?

Why is it that when a celebrity has a child when not married it is called a 'love child', but with anyone else it is referred to as illigitimate.

Why do Americans say "I could care less" Whereas us Brits say "I couldn't care less" which actually makes alot more sense?
[Edited 7/20/07 5:15am]

MissMe said:

what does that mean?

Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?

Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them?

Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"?

Why don't you ever see baby pigeons?

Isnt Disney world just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Ok a peice of gum has 20 cals, now is that when you chew it, or is that if you swallow it. And if you swallow it after chewing it does the calorie intake lesson because it was already chewed? And if you have already chewed it and save it for another time, are the 20 cals still there?

.
[Edited 7/20/07 5:32am]

MissMe said:

From Mama Smurf!

BTW, where is Mama Smurf?


And I have a serious one:

Why do people want you to be 'honest' if they give you shit for your honesty in return?

can mute people burp ?

Cheek said:

That's a good one.

Dewrede said:

Thanks. There are some good ones there too.

yes , indeed
my pleasure

Dewrede said:

"Do penguins have knees?"

Cheek said:

I laughed at that one too.
Oh there are too many now.

What hair color do they put on the drivers license of bald men?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

OK.... So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the
Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the
Tennessee Titans?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one
enjoys it?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale
bread to begin with?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons
and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?

If A cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them

Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?

If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"?

Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?


If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?

Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts!


Sexual harassment at work-is it a problem for the self-employed?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

How did a fool and his money get together?

How do they get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass?

How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

Why does a dishtowel get wet when it dries?

Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?


What’s the relevance of a pointless question?
[Edited 7/20/07 5:52am]

"Can you cry underwater?"

LittleSmedley said:

OOOH OOOH!!! I can answer that one...

ahem.....because everything in the Matrix tastes like chicken?

I got a few more.

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? !

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?