So this question is directed at women but also to the guys that have been through the "ring experience"

What I don't know is everything. I've seen rings that were like a chip of diamond and I can't go there, her family would never let me live that down.

I'm looking at diamond color and clarity with the money associated and I'd rather get her a smaller one (1 carat) with higher quality, rather than a big (2 carat) yellow, flawed one. Then, can people really even see flaws or is just about how much money I'm going to put into this rock on her finger? What's it mean to be a "certified" diamond?

I'm just trying to go about this the right way. I know our relationship is about more than this ring but I'm completely freaked out because all of my research are just sales people pushing their expensive stuff and I have a schedule.

Any help/comments would be appreciated.

The only thing I know about diamonds is that they are pretty.

I hope this might help: http://www.diamondreview.com/

personally, i think this part of the 'relationship' is totally, utterly BOGUS.

men, you shouldn't have to drop that kind of dough on a shiny little rock for your lover. she should know you love her without that

it's just a trick diamond merchants like to play.

if it were me i'd commission an artist to design matching rings using agate. or another stone with color and heart.

FL nothing else, clarity is rarer than size. Buy the BEST not biggest you can get.
I can hook you up with an excellent jeweller if you want.
[Edited 7/24/07 9:47am]

Thanks everyone. I would love to do something with semi-precious stones but her family is a little materialistic and I've got to compete with that.

Clarity and however much money I can get together is my plan, I'm going to check out that great reference site, thx Sweeny!

mdiver said:

Thanks but I think it's matter of getting the ca$h or working with someone local on some financing.

Slave2daGroove said:

A friend of mine recently got engaged and was given a sapphire ring (just like Princess Di) with diamonds on the side. All stones certified "conflict-free", they came form Canada and Australia. It's gorgeous.

That's all I know about engagement rings.

Slave2daGroove said:

No worries just remember buying a good rock is the key...fuck the ring a good jeweller can do what you want...it is the rock that matters....

How about reading the wealth of tips in this thread:

http://www.prince.org/msg/100/221651

I am extremely biased on this subject and do NOT believe that women deserve a diamond ring just for the sake of whatever it is they have never even done to warrant one Propose to marry her without the ring and see if she's still game. If she won't she obviously cares more about materialism than you!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Thanks for that informative link Supa. People feel pretty strong about this.

The way I look at it is simple. Every woman I've ever seriously dated wanted to marry me, now I want to marry her. While I fight tradition on every level and will with the wedding, her family is from LA and are a little materialistic. I'm not pulling six figures so I've got that going against me, with this diamond, I want tradition and for her to be able to show something to the women in her life with a confidence that her man isn't cheap, broke or incompetent. The other thing is that a good diamond (from Canada, conflict free) and a platinum band will both last forever like I see our relationship doing.

Every other aspect of traditional wedding will be ignored by me except for Cultural things from her fam.

I am so happy for you, Chris and your fiance' is kick ass.

I better be invited to the festivities.

A shame I didn't get to hit it, though.

Lothan said:

I'll give you persistence, it wasn't for a lack of trying.

Of course you will be invited to a small party in the D, but I'm trying to not do anything but what cultural things are required for something bigger but that will be in LA.

PUT THE MONEY TOWARDS A DEPOSIT ON A HOME TOGETHER

One word.

Tiffanys.

oldpurple said:

FUCK THAT SHIT!

No matter HOW much your girl says it doesn't matter, she want a fucking ROCK...you best get it, or you'll be hearin' about it for years down the road.

This is the start of your life together....the begining of the life of you's and your kids and grandkids.

GET A ROCK! GET A ROCK!

Slave2daGroove said:

That doesn't sound good, IMO.

oldpurple said:

That's what my brother did - the common sense thing. He and his wife didn't bother with a big wedding - they got married at City Hall. Now they have a nice house on Long Island, three kids, a Rottweiler and a pool.

Okay I went and looked for you.

I like this.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't read the thread and got a little carried away.

Do you's have a Murphy Jewelers there??

They hand pick the diamonds from Belgium.

(Or somewhere with a 'b')

They're supposed to be so clear.

Mine is from there and its one K and its totally shinier than my others friends rings.

Here.
http://www.murphyjewelers.com/

Slave2daGroove said:

Does she need a male Bridesmaid?!

Slave2daGroove said:

www.greenkarat.com

KatSkrizzle said:

Very cool..more my style.

Question: MUST it be a diamond? I mean, I know that's what everyone expects, and they used to be very special, but at this point who doesn't have a diamond or can't get one? Heck, even one of my 6-year-old's dolls came with a real diamond necklace.

You know your lady better than me (and don't let me get you into trouble -- if she wants a diamond, you better get one!), but why not try to find something really special, like a gorgeous, one-of-a-kind antique piece or something with an odd, exotic stone few people have even heard of!?!?

By the way, congrats, Slave! And I'd urge you to spend the little bit extra for a non-conflict diamond.

Lammastide said:

Yes I guess it depends on his lady.
I have always liked when ppl did it a little less traditional.
It is also important where the diamond comes from as well- do the research.
I always thought my birthstone would be cool but it is sort of rare from what I have read..therefor probably expensive.


http://www.mineralszone.c...ite.html

[Edited 7/24/07 18:49pm]

1. Congrats!

2. I've always heard you should spend 3 months income on the engagement ring


3. Being a kind of non-traditional girl who really doesn't like diamonds (they are overrated--everyone has one and I think colors are much more interesting)...I have two other suggestions:

--I'm with CarrieMpls--what about a sapphire engagement ring? I think they are very classic--more traditional/old school (as in royalty or old money) than diamonds, imho. Afriend of mine received a sapphire engagement ring with diamond baguettes on either side. It is beautiful! If I ever get engaged, I would LOVE a sapphire ring.



--Or if you think she really needs/wants a diamond, what about a black diamond? Another friend just got engaged and gave the girl an emerald cut black diamond.



Or any colored diamond for that matter? I googled and they even come in purple!

If you decide to go with a regular diamond, I would definitely go for clarity...yes, girls notice flaws. I'm not even into jewelry that much and I noticed right away that an emerald ring my parents gave me was cloudy and had a flaw. Now, I don't mind because that means its a REAL emerald (as opposed to a synthetically made one), but I think if you're going for an engagement ring you don't want flaws.

Congrats again! You should follow your heart--keep looking until you find the one that speaks to you.