Author | Message |
Best things about being a guy The best things about being a bloke.....
Your arse is never a factor in a job interview. Your orgasms are real. Always. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. Wrinkles add character. A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Porn movies are designed with you in mind. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?" You can appreciate great sport. You can throw a ball more than 5 feet. One mood, ALL the damn time. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind. You can go to a public toilet without a support group. You can leave a hotel bed unmade. You can kill your own food. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. If you are 30 and single, nobody notices. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You don't have to clean your flat if the electricity meter reader is coming. You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me." You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You don't have to shave below your neck. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons. You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes. Same job .... . more pay. The world is your urinal Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don Marquis (1878 - 1937) | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Thats the truth I ever read it....damn life is better than I thought | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
MissMe said: One mood, ALL the damn time.
LOVE ♪♫♪♫ ♣¤═══¤۩۞۩ஜ۩ஜ۩۞۩¤═══¤♣ | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
plus we have a knob to play with
and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
IstenSzek said: plus we have a knob to play with
Great minds think alike - I was just thinking the same thing. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Those are the best things about being a straight guy! Socks still got butt like a leather seat... | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
onenitealone said: IstenSzek said: plus we have a knob to play with
Great minds think alike - I was just thinking the same thing. Dick! Socks still got butt like a leather seat... | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CynthiasSocks said: Those are the best things about being a straight guy!
Yeah. Totally. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CynthiasSocks said: onenitealone said: Great minds think alike - I was just thinking the same thing. Dick! Orange! Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don Marquis (1878 - 1937) | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CynthiasSocks said: Those are the best things about being a straight guy!
Yeah, I was gonna say. . . who are these mythical men? But, I hardly have any straight guys in my life, so. . . oh noes, prince is gonna soo me!!1! | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
MissMe said: CynthiasSocks said: Dick! Orange! Socks still got butt like a leather seat... | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
YOU CAN MAKE BABIES UNTIL YOU'RE 95 :WOOT:
YOU CAN BE UGLY/OLD AS SIN, BUT WITH SOME $$$ IN THE BANK , YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE A HOT CHICK OR TWO TO BANG!!! YOU CAN LEARN TO PLAY A SPORT AND EARN MILLIONS OF $$$ | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
MissMe said: The best things about being a bloke.....
Your arse is never a factor in a job interview. Your orgasms are real. Always. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. Wrinkles add character. A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Porn movies are designed with you in mind. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?" You can appreciate great sport. You can throw a ball more than 5 feet. One mood, ALL the damn time. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind. You can go to a public toilet without a support group. You can leave a hotel bed unmade. You can kill your own food. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. If you are 30 and single, nobody notices. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You don't have to clean your flat if the electricity meter reader is coming. You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me." You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You don't have to shave below your neck. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons. You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes. Same job .... . more pay. The world is your urinal We can pee standing up or setting down!!! Socks still got butt like a leather seat... | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
MissMe said:
One mood, ALL the damn time. The world is your urinal[/quote] uh, since when and the world is our urinal too. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
MissMe said: Your last name stays put. From USA Today: MORE MEN TAKING WIVES' LAST NAMES
By Steve Friess, Special for USA TODAY The newlyweds knew it would be surprising, but they never expected it to go quite so badly. As Donna and Mike entered their wedding reception, an unwitting announcer told the expectant crowd, "Ladies and gentleman, put your hands together for the new Mr. and Mrs. Salinger!" Some guests clapped, some chuckled at what they presumed was a joke and most looked at one another in confusion. The couple spent the entire reception and some of their honeymoon explaining to people what they had done. The groom, you see, had started his day as Mike Davis and ended it by doing something precious few of his brothers-in-arms do: He took his wife's last name instead of her taking his. "Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it would have caused as much of a stir as it did," says Mike Salinger, 27, of Seattle, who was married in November. "We knew people might be surprised, but we figured they'd say 'Huh' and get on with it. Breaking with the 'norm' The Salingers broke a patriarchal tradition so ingrained in American society that many women's studies researchers have yet to study it. "I'm sure somewhere there's some anthropologist or someone who has looked at this, but I don't know of any," says Nancy Lutkehaus, chair of the Gender Studies program at the University of Southern California. "It hasn't been a large enough social phenomenon that it's hit the radar as something to be studied." That may be coming. The California Legislature is set to consider a bill this month that would allow men to change their surnames upon marriage as seamlessly as women now can. Only seven states now allow a man who wishes to alter his name after his wedding to do so without going through the laborious, frequently expensive legal process set out by the courts for any name change. Women don't have to do so. The bill is co-sponsored by the ACLU of California as a follow-up to a federal lawsuit the civil rights group filed in December on behalf of Michael Buday, a Los Angeles man who wants to take on his wife's surname, Bijon, to show his affinity for his father-in-law. He accuses the state of gender discrimination for forcing him into the more complex process. "We have the perfect marriage application for the 17th century," says ACLU attorney Mark Rosenbaum, who is litigating the case. Buday did not respond to requests for an interview. "Every place Michael went, he had the door shut in his face or he was ridiculed." Mike Salinger, who said it cost him about $350 to change his name legally, concedes he changed his name "because I'm a big ole granola liberal and I wanted to tweak the tradition while showing my wife I love her." The 'hyphenating' option But his and Buday's approach is only one, and perhaps the boldest, possible variation. A more frequent — if not common — occurrence, wedding consultant Sharon Naylor says, is for both members of a couple to take on both last names. "I'm seeing men and women discussing the possibility of hyphenating their names together more than I did before because both have a vested interest in keeping the last name they've built their careers under," says Naylor, a New Jersey-based author of 32 books on weddings. "If the groom is considering it, there's always a concern of 'What will the people think at the office? What will my father think?' " Christopher Sclafani and Jeannie Rhee avoided the wedding-night scene the Salingers endured by instructing their deejay not to introduce them with their last names, but their decision to take on both names without a hyphen caused other problems. The new Christopher Sclafani Rhee was immediately and persistently called Mr. Rhee, which most people assumed was his whole last name. "People could not handle the idea that a man had a two-part last name," says the 34-year-old Washington, D.C., lawyer. "The first couple of months were incredibly jarring. Then we realized both are hard names to spell and to explain, so I just accepted this (Rhee) as my new last name." 'Turn in your man card' Sam Van Hallgren, 32, co-host of the movie-review podcast Filmspotting, had to explain himself not just to his listeners but even to his co-host, Adam Kempenaar. Kempenaar was caught by surprise the first time Van Hallgren introduced himself at the top of their show with his new name. Van Hallgren was formerly Sam Hallgren until he wed Carrie Van Deest in August and they both took on the new, combined names. Van Hallgren received a scathing note from a longtime listener with a subject line that read, "Sam, turn in your man card." The listener asked what "sissy juice" the host was drinking. The Van Hallgrens, who live in Milwaukee, say they did it for their future children. The idea of merging names, which Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa also did when the former Antonio Villar wed the former Corina Raigosa in 1987, started out for Sam and Carrie as a joke. Then, while talking with a friend who was surprised Carrie would take Sam's name, Sam first uttered the merged version and they both liked it. "I feared that people would think I did it to suggest more people should do it," he says. "But I didn't. It just made sense for us." http://www.usatoday.com/n...iage_N.htm | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
MissMe said: New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
From your own Rocks and sucks thread on Friday, I said: Sucks: My new boots are rubbing the skin off my heels.
(the black ones on the right) | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
MissMe said: You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me." "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CynthiasSocks said: MissMe said: The best things about being a bloke.....
Your arse is never a factor in a job interview. Your orgasms are real. Always. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. Wrinkles add character. A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Porn movies are designed with you in mind. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?" You can appreciate great sport. You can throw a ball more than 5 feet. One mood, ALL the damn time. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind. You can go to a public toilet without a support group. You can leave a hotel bed unmade. You can kill your own food. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. If you are 30 and single, nobody notices. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You don't have to clean your flat if the electricity meter reader is coming. You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me." You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You don't have to shave below your neck. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons. You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes. Same job .... . more pay. The world is your urinal We can pee standing up or setting down!!! So can women! Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don Marquis (1878 - 1937) | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
sextonseven said: MissMe said: New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
From your own Rocks and sucks thread on Friday, I said: Sucks: My new boots are rubbing the skin off my heels.
(the black ones on the right) Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don Marquis (1878 - 1937) | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
MissMe said: sextonseven said: We are united in pain! | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
MissMe said: CynthiasSocks said: We can pee standing up or setting down!!! So can women! | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
live4lust said: MissMe said: So can women! It's a talent I have. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don Marquis (1878 - 1937) | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
sextonseven said: MissMe said: We are united in pain! And men stare at us With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A.... | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Serious said: sextonseven said: We are united in pain! And men stare at us Not because of your shoes. Generally. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
sextonseven said: Serious said: And men stare at us Not because of your shoes. Generally. I doubt men stare at you only because of your shoes either . I was wearing flip flops today so I don't know if they were the reason for some men staring . With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A.... | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
MissMe said: You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife. eeew-! No! Just CHEW them off! By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Serious said: sextonseven said: Not because of your shoes. Generally. I doubt men stare at you only because of your shoes either . I was wearing flip flops today so I don't know if they were the reason for some men staring . Wearing flip flops in public? | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
u can give a 2 another male and don't have 2 worry about the other saying "ow that hurt" man, he has such an amazing body of music that it's sad to see him constrict it down to the basics. he's too talented for the lineup he's doing. estelle 81 | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
L4OATheOriginal said: u can give a 2 another male and don't have 2 worry about the other saying "ow that hurt"
That's so funny 'cos after the Yankees game on Saturday, one of the new players hit a home run and was giving the other players such vigorous high fives afterward that the lone female broadcaster for the Yankees asked him to give her one like she was on the team and when he did, she almost fell over! | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |