Hmmm...And I use the word "sex" VERY loosely.
Anyway...
I get there and he has nothing on but pants, and I'm wondering why he didn't answer the door bucket naked. So then he's like "Where are you from? How old are you? " and I'm like "Okay...this is not a job interview, and you don't have an FBI badge, so stop with the questions, WHERE IS THE DICK I CAME HERE FOR????"
So he shoves me down on the couch and I put my mouth on some thangs, put my mouth on some more thangs, and put my mouth on some MORE THANGS . Then I hear him say "Aww man, I'm sorry." And my mouth is still full and I'm like "Sorry about what? And he gets up and his children are all over my chest. So he goes to get a towel and I start taking clothes off, and he starts putting clothes on. Okay, I'm thinking that was just a warm up-round 1 type thing.
Uh uh.
So I say to him "Do I get a round 2?" and he's like "Not today!"
Say it wiff me...

THE
FUCK??

That was some cole shit. I swear I was there for only like 4 minutes ya'll. It's been 3 years, and I thought I was gonna throw down. Man, I almost threw up.
It was like fixing somebody a plate after they pulled their chair up to the buffet. I don't know what I'm gonna do. Maybe I should get all my teef pulled out, go to West Hollywood, stand outside Trader Joes and offer blowjobs for 2 cents, free cornbread on Tuesdays and Soul Train tickets on Thursdays. And he said he was 28.
Come on now.
He looked like he was 28 in dog years I swear 4 chickens.
I guess I have to face the facts.
I'm just too good at sex.

I like Alwayslate's date stories much better.

That's sucks

and this would be a good example of why people should fuck before they get married/involved. know what the fuck you're getting before you commit to some miserable shit you're gonna be saddled with.

okay, this is exactly why I don't even go there with people because I've never been known for holding my peace or thoughts in this area. Don't get me all worked up for some grand shit and some shit like that happens... not a good thing.

BlackAdder7 said:

*re-reads initial post...*
Yeah, I didn't ask you that. Lurk your ass out my thread

That does suck!

MoniGram said:

...no pun intended. I'm still horny too. Le Sigh.

2ndRevolution said:

I just realized what I said...funny! But that does suck..all horney and all!

MoniGram said:

Such is life. So after wards, I was still in shock over how long I wasn't there, then I say to him "So...do I have to leave now?" and he was like "...well, I have to go food shopping."
I can take a hint. He said he would call

2ndRevolution said:

OMG that's awful!

2ndRevolution said:

that's horrible for anyone to do

Oh Lawd, I'll live ya'll, goodness! Maybe he did that on purpose though. wasn't attracted to me so he decided to end it as quickly as possible. Oh well. I give him a week.
Meanwhile...

ohhh...i know which banned orger you are now.

This

post


is

brilliant

Imago said:

I'm soooo sorry!!


M

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

you actually believed this story?

sosgemini said:

Doh!!!!

Should I have not?


M

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

meh...it reads to skinemax for me.

sosgemini said:

It's true as hell, actually. BELIEVE me, if I would've made it up...

sosgemini said:

oh stranger things have happened in real life.

sosgemini said:

is that the orger you think I am or something?

2ndRevolution said:

this sounds like it could have been one of my dates.

i'd be like "call? for what? so you can spray me as
soon as i walk through the door? noh thanks man you
should get that problem seen to. same time you get
a personality check. kiss kiss, bye now"

You should have came to see me....I would have filled u right on up
[Edited 7/22/07 6:49am]


I just realized u are a dude.....holy shit. Sorry
[Edited 7/22/07 22:26pm]

I read that and thought his actual children were on your chest, jumpin' 'n shit...I was like WTF?????!!!!! I'm not hip on this gay lingo...

Revolution said:

i thought the same at first.

JasmineFire said:

Me too.

IstenSzek said:

Now that would be quite the surprise. "Hello, I'm..." *SQUIRT!*

Not that I think what happened is funny, it's just the way you put it!


LOVE you!!!