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Printableshanti0608 said: mrdespues said: Not this guy. I see what I want and need but know I can't have it. 
. [Edited 7/22/07 9:32am] Well this guy better remember that he has a friend to talk to if he needs it...don't be too think that realise that 
Cute pic on myspace btw 
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mrdespues said: shanti0608 said: Well this guy better remember that he has a friend to talk to if he needs it...don't be too think that realise that
Cute pic on myspace btw
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shanti0608 said: ZombieKitten said:
mine did an annoying thing tonight
he said hey lets get a dvd and have a couple of drinks! "yeah!" I said excitedly, since this NEVER happens. Then after he drove off to blockbuster, the guitarist from the band knocked on the door and when I open is standing there with guitar and amp and effects rack.
I called the master to tell him dencha was here. He says "oh! I won't get the movie then"
they are recording as we speak.
You need to set his ass down and tell him how that makes YOU feel when he does that and see what he says and does after you tell him. One thing I have learned is that guys need to be told some times...they do not just get things like women do. Guys are a bit thick sometimes and only see what they want and need. he says we will do it tonight instead | |
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ZombieKitten said: shanti0608 said: You need to set his ass down and tell him how that makes YOU feel when he does that and see what he says and does after you tell him. One thing I have learned is that guys need to be told some times...they do not just get things like women do. Guys are a bit thick sometimes and only see what they want and need. he says we will do it tonight instead Well if he promises something and does not deliver or if it is not what you want you need to say something. I hate to say it but they do not assume or go out on a limb to figure us out..at least the men I have experienced in the past haven't. They do not tend to do that until they have lost something and have learned the hard way. I was always told it was up to me to tell them the score - out right loud and clear then it is up to them to do some work as well.  | |
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ZombieKitten said: retina said: Yeah, she has a nasty habit of not existing. 
mine did an annoying thing tonight
he said hey lets get a dvd and have a couple of drinks! "yeah!" I said excitedly, since this NEVER happens. Then after he drove off to blockbuster, the guitarist from the band knocked on the door and when I open is standing there with guitar and amp and effects rack.
I called the master to tell him dencha was here. He says "oh! I won't get the movie then"
they are recording as we speak.
sorry sometimes I  opinions without being asked
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gemini13 said: ZombieKitten said:
mine did an annoying thing tonight
he said hey lets get a dvd and have a couple of drinks! "yeah!" I said excitedly, since this NEVER happens. Then after he drove off to blockbuster, the guitarist from the band knocked on the door and when I open is standing there with guitar and amp and effects rack.
I called the master to tell him dencha was here. He says "oh! I won't get the movie then"
they are recording as we speak.
Does this guy do this shit to you all the time? PLUS you don't have sex much?? Oh, honey.....we must talk.  I've got the cake baked if you guys wanna come over 
...and I have a little something in the cabinet in the living room to er, um, 'spice up' the coffee and tea if need be  | |
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Mach said: ZombieKitten said:
mine did an annoying thing tonight
he said hey lets get a dvd and have a couple of drinks! "yeah!" I said excitedly, since this NEVER happens. Then after he drove off to blockbuster, the guitarist from the band knocked on the door and when I open is standing there with guitar and amp and effects rack.
I called the master to tell him dencha was here. He says "oh! I won't get the movie then"
they are recording as we speak.
sorry sometimes I opinions without being asked
He needs to be told how it effects her and then see if he is grown up enough to do something about it. | |
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shanti0608 said: Mach said: That's just unkind and rude ... much like a young teen boy would act
sorry sometimes I opinions without being asked
He needs to be told how it effects her and then see if he is grown up enough to do something about it. It's true
Most couples seem to not communicate to each other about things such as this. It really is just simply rude to make plans with a person then to switch/blow them off simply because an outside person shows up/calls- whatever. Then one feels hurt and the other thinks all is well, when it's NOT 
Yeah - I would be having a chat with the "master" soon - very soon | |
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Mach said: shanti0608 said: He needs to be told how it effects her and then see if he is grown up enough to do something about it. It's true
Most couples seem to not communicate to each other about things such as this. It really is just simply rude to make plans with a person then to switch/blow them off simply because an outside person shows up/calls- whatever. Then one feels hurt and the other thinks all is well, when it's NOT
Yeah - I would be having a chat with the "master" soon - very soon
Soon is best...trust me. Take it from someone who has learned the hard way. The sooner the better.
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shanti0608 said: ZombieKitten said: he says we will do it tonight instead Well if he promises something and does not deliver or if it is not what you want you need to say something. I hate to say it but they do not assume or go out on a limb to figure us out..at least the men I have experienced in the past haven't. They do not tend to do that until they have lost something and have learned the hard way. I was always told it was up to me to tell them the score - out right loud and clear then it is up to them to do some work as well. he poured me some drinks, put on a movie, I fell asleep a third of the way through, so he switched it off. I got in the shower and started to cry, then I couldn't stop. So I went to bed, he says what's wrong, he asks if I was going to sleep now and I nearly was asleep so he went to his studio and did music since it was only 9pm. | |
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ZombieKitten said: shanti0608 said: Well if he promises something and does not deliver or if it is not what you want you need to say something. I hate to say it but they do not assume or go out on a limb to figure us out..at least the men I have experienced in the past haven't. They do not tend to do that until they have lost something and have learned the hard way. I was always told it was up to me to tell them the score - out right loud and clear then it is up to them to do some work as well. he poured me some drinks, put on a movie, I fell asleep a third of the way through, so he switched it off. I got in the shower and started to cry, then I couldn't stop. So I went to bed, he says what's wrong, he asks if I was going to sleep now and I nearly was asleep so he went to his studio and did music since it was only 9pm. With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A.... | |
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ZombieKitten said: shanti0608 said: Well if he promises something and does not deliver or if it is not what you want you need to say something. I hate to say it but they do not assume or go out on a limb to figure us out..at least the men I have experienced in the past haven't. They do not tend to do that until they have lost something and have learned the hard way. I was always told it was up to me to tell them the score - out right loud and clear then it is up to them to do some work as well. he poured me some drinks, put on a movie, I fell asleep a third of the way through, so he switched it off. I got in the shower and started to cry, then I couldn't stop. So I went to bed, he says what's wrong, he asks if I was going to sleep now and I nearly was asleep so he went to his studio and did music since it was only 9pm. I know that you already know what I am going to say since you are a very smart lady. You need to tell him that you need some time alone with him - no tv, no music... just one on one talking. Maybe you need to journal your thoughts and feelings for a bit - a few days maybe and then let him read it. He needs to know how you are feeling- otherwise he will say to himself "well I asked her what's wrong and she did not say anything so there must not be anything wrong". It will only eat you up inside if you do not let it out. | |
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shanti0608 said: ZombieKitten said: he poured me some drinks, put on a movie, I fell asleep a third of the way through, so he switched it off. I got in the shower and started to cry, then I couldn't stop. So I went to bed, he says what's wrong, he asks if I was going to sleep now and I nearly was asleep so he went to his studio and did music since it was only 9pm. I know that you already know what I am going to say since you are a very smart lady. You need to tell him that you need some time alone with him - no tv, no music... just one on one talking. Maybe you need to journal your thoughts and feelings for a bit - a few days maybe and then let him read it. He needs to know how you are feeling- otherwise he will say to himself "well I asked her what's wrong and she did not say anything so there must not be anything wrong". It will only eat you up inside if you do not let it out. this is really good advice and true. Coming from a guy's perspective, after a while of being with someone the comfortableness experienced with someone so great and cool is mistaken for not caring. Then you throw in the whole women and men communicate differently and are really different animals, sometimes spelling it out during a one-on-one communication meeting is just necessary. It works both ways because of the same reasons I've just mentioned. Otherwise what happens are bad actions based on miscommunications and assumptions (cheating, lies, avoidence, etc.). Oh yeah, then there's my favorite; it all comes out during a big argument that is totally unrelated to what the real problem is. "then that one time when you said let's watch a movie..." and he's like "what? I just forgot to get bread and milk and you are losing your mind and bringing up something from a month ago?!? WTF?" | |
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Slave2daGroove said: shanti0608 said: I know that you already know what I am going to say since you are a very smart lady. You need to tell him that you need some time alone with him - no tv, no music... just one on one talking. Maybe you need to journal your thoughts and feelings for a bit - a few days maybe and then let him read it. He needs to know how you are feeling- otherwise he will say to himself "well I asked her what's wrong and she did not say anything so there must not be anything wrong". It will only eat you up inside if you do not let it out. this is really good advice and true. Coming from a guy's perspective, after a while of being with someone the comfortableness experienced with someone so great and cool is mistaken for not caring. Then you throw in the whole women and men communicate differently and are really different animals, sometimes spelling it out during a one-on-one communication meeting is just necessary. It works both ways because of the same reasons I've just mentioned. Otherwise what happens are bad actions based on miscommunications and assumptions (cheating, lies, avoidence, etc.). Oh yeah, then there's my favorite; it all comes out during a big argument that is totally unrelated to what the real problem is. "then that one time when you said let's watch a movie..." and he's like "what? I just forgot to get bread and milk and you are losing your mind and bringing up something from a month ago?!? WTF?" I speak from years of experience with a major non-communicator on every level. I held it in as long as I could and it broke me...I snapped and actually so did he. He was unable, unwilling or whatever to change or try but you really never know until you tell the other person how you feel and how their actions hurt you. | |
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ZombieKitten said:
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I have learned to be extremely explicit with my husband. I need to clearly explain what I need emotionally and physically. We recently got into it because I found myself always having to ask for help around the house. Then I'm in the position of being a nag. So my last explicit request was for him to be aware of things that need to be done around the house and to initiate getting those things done himself, without my asking. | |
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shanti0608 said: Slave2daGroove said: this is really good advice and true. Coming from a guy's perspective, after a while of being with someone the comfortableness experienced with someone so great and cool is mistaken for not caring. Then you throw in the whole women and men communicate differently and are really different animals, sometimes spelling it out during a one-on-one communication meeting is just necessary. It works both ways because of the same reasons I've just mentioned. Otherwise what happens are bad actions based on miscommunications and assumptions (cheating, lies, avoidence, etc.). Oh yeah, then there's my favorite; it all comes out during a big argument that is totally unrelated to what the real problem is. "then that one time when you said let's watch a movie..." and he's like "what? I just forgot to get bread and milk and you are losing your mind and bringing up something from a month ago?!? WTF?" I speak from years of experience with a major non-communicator on every level. I held it in as long as I could and it broke me...I snapped and actually so did he. He was unable, unwilling or whatever to change or try but you really never know until you tell the other person how you feel and how their actions hurt you. nobody should let their life go this route, realizing you have the power to change things is a major part for most people.
Being too damn lazy is something else completely. Relationships are a give and take and work at some points. Some people are worth it because they're the love of your life and they're willing to do the work (couldn't resist) or they fall into the other category. To me, if I'm going to have to do all the work I'd rather be by myself. Love is really someone who gets what it takes to be in a relationship and the work involved, and says for you, I'm committing to do this. Communication and sometimes cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids in addition to whatever you do for a living (hobbies) is too much for most people. To those people I say, "use lotion because you can really rub yourself raw if you're not careful." | |
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ZombieKitten said: right back atcha! | |
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Slave2daGroove said: shanti0608 said: I speak from years of experience with a major non-communicator on every level. I held it in as long as I could and it broke me...I snapped and actually so did he. He was unable, unwilling or whatever to change or try but you really never know until you tell the other person how you feel and how their actions hurt you. nobody should let their life go this route, realizing you have the power to change things is a major part for most people.
Being too damn lazy is something else completely. Relationships are a give and take and work at some points. Some people are worth it because they're the love of your life and they're willing to do the work (couldn't resist) or they fall into the other category. To me, if I'm going to have to do all the work I'd rather be by myself. Love is really someone who gets what it takes to be in a relationship and the work involved, and says for you, I'm committing to do this. Communication and sometimes cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids in addition to whatever you do for a living (hobbies) is too much for most people. To those people I say, "use lotion because you can really rub yourself raw if you're not careful." Well said!
I agree that I would rather be alone than to do all of the giving and destroy myself in the process. Though you never really know until you sit down with the person and open up and be honest about how you feel. I did that finally and I am so glad I did- just be prepared to hear their side as well. Which can some times surprise you. Though when me and my ex did that we realised that it was destroying both of us being together. Some thing I think we both wished we had discovered sooner but we were not communicating until it was too late. In my situation it turned out to be a blessing because we parted ways and I am so much happier now. Many ppl have opened up to one another and found the path to happiness staying together. Love and relationships takes daily work - I think ppl forget that especially when children are involved- though I am only guessing because I do not have any. I always knew the relationship was not strong enough to support children. so - my point is that you have to open up and let it out and see what happens. | |
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