I got shifty eyes

Depends on how serious the conversation is. If it's just casual and/or lighthearted and the eye contact is intense, then I tend to get uncomfortable, then I wonder what the heck is going on in this persons mind and what the heck are they looking for. Then I start getting silly and animated or switch into a very serious mood.

In a serious convo with my boss/coworker, or mechanic or whatever, I keep steady eye contact and get leery if the other person doesn't do the same, then my eye contact gets intense cause now I'm looking for something.

In an intimate setting then no, not at all. I like the attention. Yes, look at me, and only at me.

If it's boring I use the tip of the nose method, or try to, cause I have a very short attention span then I'm easily distracted, by something like a piece of lint floating by.

ZombieKitten said:

They are caring eyes.

live4lust said:

you're very friendly today!

I like to keep eyecontatct especially if it's a serious formal conversation, but usually I let my eyes wonder about casually.. I depends on who I'm talking to and if it's a serious talk...

A friend of mine, a guy, does this thing that drives me crazy... If we're talking about something, and we pause and say nothing, he starts to stare STRAIGHT at my eyes, and says nothing for a while... I say to him that don't stare, it's so weird, and he replies that he likes to confuse ppl, by staring at them...


Then I usually tell him something very kinky and dirty to make him confused..

I can't stand it, it makes me wonder what's going on in his mind...

I can do it indefinitely with folks I am pretty intimate with

Nope

REDBABY said:

look into my eyes

ZombieKitten said:

I am looking..

Nope.

Eye contact is a must.

Yes.

Well, in some cases. Like with my boyfriend it's a beautiful thing. He has the most beautiful brown eyes with a thousand ripples....

But if my father looks me in the eyes, it's scary. O_o Like...he could be really in a mellow mood but his eyes are so stern.

When my grandma looks into my eyes, it kinda worries me. Like...I could be seeing hers for the last time.

When cousins or other fam look into my eyes, It's a mix of comfort and be self conscious.

When strangers look me in the eyes, it's a mix. Sometimes I don't feel a thing. I can look them in the eyes with no internal issues. But sometimes, I feel so self conscious and wierded out. ESPECIALLY when it's a teenager checking me out. It happened a few weeks ago. I donated to this lil kid and he had the nerve to lick his lips at me like I was big tasty snack!!

Eye contact does not intimidate me at all. As others have said, if someone can't look me in the eye, I wonder if they're being honest and sincere with me. I'd rather have someone who was not afraid to look me in the eye then someone who looked down or somewhere else while speaking to me.

Back in high school, I had a friend who would look away at something else when I would be talking to her. It used to drive me nuts! Whenever she would do that, I would just stop talking all together. Then she would say to me, "Go ahead, I'm listening."

On the other hand, I think I tend to intimidate people because I have no problems looking people in the eye when they're talking to me. So I have learned to nod my head and smile a little when someone else is speaking to me. If I don't, I notice that people sometimes get a bit weirded out. I'm not sure why that is. I guess direct eye contact makes some people uneasy.
[Edited 7/16/07 11:07am]

it can when you're having some conversation with someone and there seems to be some odd underlying vibe..

if i look up to a person - as in, if i have a lot of respect or admiration for someone, or if i want to win that person's respect for me - i am very comfortable making a lot of eye contact. it's like having a firm handshake...it just makes a good impression.

meanwhile, if i really can't stand someone - if i get really bad vibes from them or there is something about them that REALLY rubs me the wrong way, or if they just disturb me in some way - then eye contact is almost impossible for me. i guess i'm of the school that believes eyes are the windows to the soul, and looking in the eyes of a sick soul is a bit much for me to handle.

finally, if i'm really rocking an involved conversation with someone, i may not give them a lot of eye contact, because sometimes i have to focus visually on something really abstract in order to remember things. like, sometimes it helps to stare at a wall while i'm trying to go into really deep detail about something when i'm talking to another person. some people mistake that for not wanting to make eye contact, but it's really just good ol' senility.

I have no problem with eye contact and it bothers when if someone does not maintain eye contact while conversing with me.

If a stranger stsres at me, I will stare back - I can stare down a Doberman Pinscher. I got that from an old boyfriend. he left but that stuck with me, lol.

ok, so why do celebrities (ahem, PRINCE) dislike it when you make eye contact with them? what is that all about? nobody has EVER been able to answer this for me. i have my theories but i've never had them confirmed.

Anxiety said:

Agreed. Eyes are the seed to the soul and can be very revealing during conversation. The eyes can definitely tell alot about the person in terms of their personal/intra personal relationship and in relation to all levels may be it be platonic or intimate.
[Edited 7/16/07 8:42am]

Yes, very much so - as much as I hate to say that. I think eye contact is *very* important and a lot of it depends on how comfortable you are with the other person, maybe. But I am very aware of it even with some of my oldest, closest friends... If you're shy and self-conscious, it feels like you're giving away a piece of your soul, almost.

I truly do believe the eyes are the windows to the soul and - having been told on many, many occasions how expressive mine are - it sort of frightens me in a way. No matter what 'face' you may choose to show the world (a confident one, for example, when you're feeling anything but) your eyes are the dead giveaway. I'm quite a shy, private person, so knowing (or thinking) that anyone can get a glimpse into my inner workings just from eye contact really does unnerve me. That sounds crazy but it is something I am very conscious of.

Plus, literally every single day I have an encounter with someone where I make eye contact, only for them to avert their gaze. It makes me very self-conscious. I've been told that my eyes are quite piercing and I'm sure they intimidate some people. I'll be having a conversation with them - or even just say 'Thanks' to a cashier - and then suddenly notice them turning away. Which makes me even more self-conscious. It wasn't something I was aware of until someone pointed it out but, ever since, I can't help but notice.

As you can see, I have given a lot of thought. But it really is something I am painfully aware of.

And I totally understand what Anx says when he refers to focusing on something 'abstract' - it really does help me to keep my train of thought sometimes. I'd be all over the bloody place, otherwise.

No, it's the best way to spot a liar

wlcm2thdwn said:

theodore said:

FAR too simplistic an answer, sorry.

I know this is what psychologists say to look out for (along with other traits that I cannot think of right now; BlackAdder7 ) and I agree that it doesn't exactly endear people who do this to others. I know that from personal experience. But some people are just naturally shy. It's not that they're liars or have anything to hide, they are just shy and that's that.

Sometimes - sometimes - I feel the only way one can get ahead in this world is to be as outgoing and confident as possible. Regardless of whether that is how you truly feel. And how phoney is that? Yet it is the shy people, who are just being true to themselves, that get labelled as weirdos. Fucked up.

onenitealone said:

With your personality I fail to see why anyone would not want to hire you or why you couldn't get ahead.

Besides, with I don't mind if you don't make direct eye contact with me--I mean, your eyes are only some of the things I would make direct contact with and stuff.

Imago said:

I was just getting ready to give a serious response then I read the last sentence. Thanks, Dan.

Oh, and


.
[Edited 7/16/07 15:34pm]

It used to, when I was a kid. It was because I constantly had to lie to cover for my parents or some such shit, and I thought people could tell if I was lying by looking me in the eyes. Then I found out they couldn't tell, and now it's just a habit to avoid eye contact. I try to work on it though.

onenitealone said:

Paradisekiss03 said:

sometimes it scares me and other times I'm okay with it. I've been criticized for avoiding eye contact, but I've improved since a friend told me I shouldn't be afraid of it cause my eyes are beautiful with long lashes and I should be proud of them

did you know that in some native cultures, having eye contact with someone is seen as trying to be superior to them and disrespectful? I found that really interesting when I took a course on intercultural communication
[Edited 7/17/07 5:51am]

ArielB said:

same here

CynthiasSocks said:

Tell'em CS!

Sometimes, depends on my mood I guess.