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Forums > General Discussion > I have a phobia of being in authority - what about you?
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Reply #30 posted 07/13/07 10:38am

Ace

At work, along with my father, I'm the boss.

Oftentimes, it feels like I have more children than Mia Farrow. Employees tend to look to you for validation.

Given my druthers, I would have authority over no one, but here I am.

I, too, am not crazy about hierarchies, but - having been involved in organizations with non-hierarchical structures when I was younger - I don't believe "socialist" setups work.

Is a position of leadership/authority something you strive for in life?

I believe that this Bruce Springsteen lyric describes most people:

Poor man wanna be rich
Rich man wanna be king
And a king ain't satisfied 'til he rules everything


But it doesn't describe me anymore. The only area where authority is still important to me is my personal life.


If you already have this role, how do you keep yourself in check?

I try to put myself in my underlings' shoes and remember how I felt when I worked below others.

I am also awesome. razz
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Reply #31 posted 07/13/07 11:58am

BlackAdder7

yes, I have a phobia about you being in authority too!
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Reply #32 posted 07/13/07 12:13pm

live4lust

It's something I dread. And it's not really part of my personality. The problem is I don't respect authority of any kind, so it's hard for me to want to be such a figure.
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Reply #33 posted 07/13/07 12:24pm

theAudience

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Anxiety said:

It's true, I hate the idea of being in a position of leadership.

I'm a Leo and I'm supposed to like being top man on the totem pole, but I think being in a position of authority is gross and scary.

The few times I've tried it, I think I did an okay job at it. I considered it a responsibility rather than a privilege, I respected the people "beneath" me, and I didn't let a little bit of status turn me into a total prick. I hope not, anyway. But I was uncomfortable with it, I think because I have my own authority issues and I'm not comfortable with the concept of heirarchies in general.

I've seen a lot of people start out nice, then get promoted into some leadership position and turn into total jerk-asses. I've seen some people who are natural leaders and do brilliantly, without letting it go to their heads.

Mostly, I've seen people who don't have a practical brain cell in their entire swollen heads get leadership positions, and they abuse their authority rather than accept it as a matter of increased responsibility. I think it's because I've had to work under SO many people like this in my life, I'm scared to ever risk becoming one of them.

Which brings me to my questions:

Is a position of leadership/authority something you strive for in life?

If you already have this role, how do you keep yourself in check?

Be concise. Provide examples. Keep it brief but informative.

Thank you, that is all.

Good question.

This is something i've never cultivated but always seemed to gravitate to me naturally.
Whether it be musical pursuits or corporate positions.

The way I see how a person in authority should deal with the individuals that work with them can be best described by something said by Ricky Roma in the film Glengarry Glen Ross...



...What you're hired for, is to help us... does that seem clear to you? TO HELP US, not to... FUCK-US-UP!

To provide the necessary tools and information for them to do their jobs as easily and efficiently as possible.
That's about as concise as I can make it.

Btw, I think you've got the perfect temperament for that kind of position. wink


tA

peace Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431
[Edited 7/13/07 12:24pm]
"Ya see, we're not interested in what you know...but what you are willing to learn. C'mon y'all."
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Reply #34 posted 07/13/07 12:52pm

MsLegs

theAudience said:


Good question.

This is something i've never cultivated but always seemed to gravitate to me naturally.
Whether it be musical pursuits or corporate positions.

The way I see how a person in authority should deal with the individuals that work with them can be best described by something said by Ricky Roma in the film Glengarry Glen Ross...



...What you're hired for, is to help us... does that seem clear to you? TO HELP US, not to... FUCK-US-UP!




tA


nod Eloquently Stated TA!
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Reply #35 posted 07/13/07 1:02pm

CalhounSq

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OY, I too am a Leo so while it does indeed come naturally for me to try & run stuff/take it over (not out of greed or looking for the spotlight, but honestly feeling like I know a pretty good way of doing things) I fucking RUN from it all the time falloff

I can't give a great answer as I'm off to work but the thing I think freaks me out is that I don't like to be the one everyone has to answer to b/c I don't wanna be wrong. I don't like being wrong. & I can't say that a lot of my decisions are wrong b/c things usually work out pretty well BUT the chance of being the final word & having that word be wrong just gives me pause. And w/ some of the opportunities I've had to be "the decider" falloff I think I've screwed them up on purpose just so I wouldn't have to deal w/ it disbelief

I'm definitely not living my potential right now b/c I feel safer when I'm only deciding on a piece of the puzzle, not the whole thing. & on the small scales that I have taken authority I saw it as a necessity @ the time - now I'd have to psych myself out to do the same b/c the only scale left is 3x as big. Totally rambling now, hopefully somebody gets this shit lol arrow
heart prince I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it prince heart
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Reply #36 posted 07/13/07 3:11pm

teaspoon

I am in a position of leadership and most of the time it sucks because the people I have to lead are usually stupid.
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Reply #37 posted 07/13/07 3:15pm

UCantHavaDaMan
go

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I hate heading up projects unless it has something to do with the arts. Other than that, I'm very content with being a follower, or pawn, or whatever.
Wanna hear me sing? biggrin www.ChampagneHoneybee.com
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Reply #38 posted 07/13/07 4:16pm

psychodelicide

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live4lust said:

It's something I dread. And it's not really part of my personality. The problem is I don't respect authority of any kind, so it's hard for me to want to be such a figure.


Same here. Some of the people who are in authoritative rolls should not be in them, in my honest opinion.
RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you.
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Reply #39 posted 07/17/07 6:28am

alphastreet

if I was a manager the company would be in trouble. I'm too soft and like to take everyone's best interests into account, but I would probably be taken advantage of for it and things woudl fall apart
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Reply #40 posted 07/17/07 6:41am

JustErin

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I love telling people what to do, or what they can't do.

I'm very comfortable in a position of authority.
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Reply #41 posted 07/17/07 6:43am

MsLegs

Mach said:

Leadership takes - authority over ones self BEFORE having authority over another and thus a becomming a good leader by example

right ?

Pricisely. Lead by example.
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Reply #42 posted 07/17/07 6:43am

MsLegs

Imago said:

You don't have to be an authority figure to me Anx. Just call me Pappa.

eek
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Reply #43 posted 07/17/07 6:44am

MsLegs

Anxiety said:

Imago said:

You don't have to be an authority figure to me Anx. Just call me Pappa.


if you would have read my instructions you would have seen that i asked for examples. but i'm kinda glad you glossed over that part.

lol
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Reply #44 posted 07/17/07 2:15pm

onenitealone

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As always, just reply on my behalf Anx. It's easier that way. lol


We are so alike, especially on this issue. However, arrogant as this may sound, I think you and I *would* make good bosses - we've probably worked for enough jackasses to know how to treat people properly. It's plain and simple: treat people with respect; respect is there to be earned, not expected; treat others how you would like to be treated; show compassion/understanding; be assertive when need be. It's not rocket science. It's just finding a management position in an organisation that suits you/me is the issue, I suspect.
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Reply #45 posted 07/17/07 2:35pm

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

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I don't relish being in a position of authority, but if I AM an "authority" on something you can damn well be sure I'm going to take a leadership role. I don't know why I'm this way. I just am. I've given up direct reports at work to further my career and I'm not sure I want any again, however. A good leader simply gives directions and supports the people they're leading. Sometimes I can't be bothered. falloff I guess I'm more comfortable in the role of "expert with authority". I'm comfortable making decisions and I know I'm always right. At my current job, anyway.
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