I have a few times over the years... I mean you start to believe your press and that you are invaluable to either your company, maybe an organization or team, a group of friends or maybe even perhaps an online community.....

Have any of you ever seriously miscalculated your importance?

I'll start.... why the fuck not....

One instance was to my previous employer, with whom I started the company and believed that without me they would falter..... apparently they not only survived but prospered and expanded to ridiculous proportions which has now in my calculations cost me over $200,000 over the past 6 years....

Or how about here.... you believe you have some relevance, some "friends", some importance to at least a group of people here, just to realize that we are ALL easily replacable and forgotten.....

So I ask again.....anybody else here misjudge their REAL value to something/someone/somplace/somewhere?
[Edited 7/10/07 7:23am]

in truth we are all expendable, although i am sure there will be a lot who will argue not...

there is always some mofo round the corner ready to step into your shoes...

eraclito said:

So true....

Have You Ever REALLY Miscalculated Your Significance?

Yes

eraclito said:

Agreed.


I can't say that I have felt like that in a job because I haven't really held an important position in any of my places of employment, but I have felt like that in some friendships and also romantic relationships.

Totally.

But that's probably because my potential is so great.





.
[Edited 7/10/07 7:29am]

Everyone is replaceable.
Its a doggy dog world.
Or whatever.

Great thread, Ken.

I don't think I have miscalculated myself in real life because I know I'm expendable at my job.

Here at the Org, yeah, I have miscalculated myself. Sometimes, you think people are truly your friends, then something goes down and you don't hear from them. It is obvious that some people have miscalculated their importance here as well.

Yeah all the time. It's "out of sight, out of mind" with me it seems.

minneapolisgenius said:

i write ya

I do all the time.


I sometimes think I'm closer to women than I actually am. One thing I noticed is that if women are asked to take sides between two men(and yes, Men will actually do that to a woman), alot of times she will. I've often thought I was close enough to a woman, and all it takes is for me to not get along with her girlfriend or new man for that to just fall apart.

This doesn't happen anymore though. I understand my place in the food chain.


As far as work goes, I think it's different, Ken, when your a minority. I NEVER overestimate my value. Every interview, every conversation, every interaction of any kind, I understand they've already pre-judged me. I can't tell you how many times I've answered a technical question in exhaustive detail, only to have the questioner then turn to my white counterpoint for validation, often with the same information being reiterated.

minneapolisgenius said:

Me too...

jess555ja said:

step away from fakers and takers, i only allow true people into my world..

Lothan said:

i think you are marvellous..

i have to overcalculate my significance because nobody else will!

Lothan said:

Thank you Ivy.... I guess maybe you have to be around for a while to get that vibe I guess, but then there are others who make it all look so easy to remani relevant to remain important... I feel so insignificant sometimes....in all aspects of my life....definately here too..... with some in particular....

eraclito said:

Thank you D.

pardonme4livin said:

eraclito said:

I try to as well, but I had to learn how to do this the hard way. I have definitely been burned in the past

Imago said:

i hear you Dan, if any fool tries that shit on me, they best watch themselves when they take the stairs, cos somebody gonna trip.

Imago said:

Dan....your significance is definately appreciated here (much to my chagrin! )

As to your workplace....I cannot relate, but am sorry that you have felt unappreciated, real or perceived....

As for your other relationships.....

eraclito said:

Yes you do.

I mostly mean my friends, family, and dance colleagues in the U.S. when I'm not there.

Serious said:

Exhausting.....

Your lack of compassion and understanding is totally expected....

pardonme4livin said:

What' wierd is that I never perceived it before.

But this this phenomenon that takes place when a black guy enters the room (in white collar jobs). Body language changes, and mannerisms change. Everyone is still cordial and polite, but something changes about the air in the room.

I remember realizing this one day (about 7 years ago), and then thinking "I wonder if it happens to me." Well, I noticed that it doesn't actually happen to me, but being that I was more heightened to it, I realize that other things do happen to me. I would imagine a white guy would get it too if he were to walk into Sony Headquarters in Japan or something.

pardonme4livin said:

You are even more exhausting than I am and that rarely happens .
Compassion -->

TotalANXiousNESS said:

seriously...you knew it was "dog eat dog world". right?

Imago said:

Well you can imagine the looks I get (tall, white, shaved-head, goatee, tattoos) when I go on job interviews, or service calls, or parent teacher conferences..... I get the "oh shit" look like I am either gonna rape and kill someone or I am some lugnut with an attitude problem.... I get that "change in the air thing"..... now before you fuckin' hijack this thread...back to the topic dammit!

I would have to say MOST DEFINITELY!!

I have several performance evals that pretty much portray me as able to walk on water while making everything happen as it should...mostly all of my troops have become excellent leaders in their own right under my tutelege...I was promoted to my current rank about 3 years ahead of many of my peers in the same rank....I'm often looked upon as the one guy that everyone wants as their supervisor.....

BUT....

I got caught up in some tangled webs, rumor mills, and general drama at my last duty station and folks jumped off my bandwagon like rats from a sinking ship....with the quickness....I know lepers who got more affection than I did at that point...I made it out of there with just enough of my ass intact that I was able to sit on the plane coming back stateside.....

jess555ja said:

the jerks our most valuable lessons are most often our most painful ones

BlackAdder7 said:

I don't think she does.....