I find myself in a situation. I have a female friend. We've been friends for a while now. I love her to death, but the past couple of months I've found myself starting to fall in Love with her. I've talked to her about this and we agreed that we shouldn't risk our friendship by going out.Although she's told me that she herself has thought about us going out before. I still have these feelings for her. It's really confusing for me. On the one hand I Love her as a friend and on the other hand I'm IN Love with her. She's also the first girl who I really fell in Love with. This is so confusing

this kind of happened 2 me... it sucks

Go for it. Life's too short. A friendship-based relationship seems to be the best approach. No pretenses or lies, a familiarity with the person's history and make-up.

Mutual interest and/or attraction, too?


Gosh, go for it.

Yeah it does suck. It sucks even more when I see her date other guys, becuase I feel that that should be me.

whatever happens, if you really love her and it turns out that she doesn't feel the same, don't treat her like shit for months after. it isn't fun.

Y'know...I truly feel your pain.
I'm gonna stop there and say that I'm known for being sarcastic...but, for this thread, I'm quite sincere.
It's happened to me twice in my life and I've never broken the friendship bond. But, to this day, I remained convinced that if I had, and even if things didn't work out, I'd still have that friendship.
The important thing to realize is if you are willing to separate your love as a friend from your love as a potential partner/mate. If you can't, then you shouldn't try and stay with what you have. If you can and she can, then bless your hearts and the best of luck.
Go with what you truly feel is in your heart and soul.

evenstar3 said:

No, I would never treat her bad just because she's not in Love with me too. I already know that she just loves me as a friend. Nothing more nothing less.

purpleworld said:

that happened 2 me.... twice with the same person
but now I understand that what he really wanted was 2 b a whore

you should go for it better to have give it a shot with someone your IN love with and find out then to not.

TheMadMonkey said:

I know that our friendship is strong enough that if we did go out and didn't work, we would still be good friends.

spill the beans.....I'm in that situation as well!

abierman said:

Aksel i told you man i am taken

so can you explain how falling in love differs from a crush? or lust?

I am sorry to hear this, although you have options. Me, though love someone I can never have.

My best friend, who is also gay, keeps asking me why I never tried to have sex with her. I don't know why she can't grasp the concept of gay=no likie va jay jay, and I care about her to much to use he to prove to myself that I'm straight, you know?

Her saying she's thought of it too is an opening. Go for it. If you're good friends now, you can be good friends if you break up down the road (after a period apart. . . gotta be prepared for that possibility).

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Not necessarily. Sometimes you can be SO compatible w/ a person on so many levels that you do have to wonder if there could be something more & then come to terms w/ the true answer to that - so pondering it isn't necessarily an invitation, could be a logical thing to wonder based on the circumstances.

I say decide if you want this person in your life despite the absence of romance & go from there. There's nothing worse than thinking you have a friend in someone only to find out they just hung around to try & wear you down. I know that's not the case w/ y'all b/c you were friends FIRST, I'm just speaking from my own shitty experience of fake-ass "friends"




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[Edited 7/9/07 9:47am]

it is a catch 22..but sometimes relationships r better when it's just friendship.

perhaps u can try and have a romantic date and c how it goes. if it doesn't work u can always fall back 2 being just friends

if she's really your friend, communicate how you feel but just talk (no sudden movements) and if she doesn't feel the same, take a little friend break from each other. This way you've been honest, communicated and then took action. Hopefully the friendship makes it through but only by communication will both of you be on the same page.

There's so many women/people in this world, make some new friends during this break and maybe meet someone to take your mind off of her.

purpleworld said:

dramaaaa

Falling in love with your parent, pet or identical twin - now that's a real problem.

I kid, I kid. My advice: wait a month. Then act.

this ruined a great friendship for me...and took us about 5 years to get back to where we should have been...but it works out differently for everyone, if anything it will strengthen your friendship in the end ...i hear some of the best relationships start that way (but im not the person to give relationship advice sooo lol)

Once you fall in love withy uor best friend you're fucked anyway. Things will never be the same, so you might as well give it a try. BUT I guess she doesn't have feelings for you or else it wouldn't be a problem, so I guess you'll just have to live with it.

eikonoklastes said:

they might not be the same..but they just might be better...dont be so negative!

rushing07 said:

theodore said:

I know what you mean

when I was 16 I got a crush on a boy at school, we became best friends, but my crush never went away, when we were 18 I told him I was in love with him. We were together 5 years

BabyGirl said:

Hold on. She's telling him she has thought about dating him (which didn't happen). Even after he told her he's in love with her, still nothing happened. Let's face it, he's fucked.

eikonoklastes said:

things arent always the way they seem, i thought you knew that....who knows what she really feels or why she didnt date him before...women are evil

purpleworld said:

And, whoop, there it is.

If she were interested, she woulda humped ya right there. It ain't gonna happen, son. Move on, man, move on.

The good news? There's no such thing as "love".

BabyGirl said:

In that case he'd be fucked cause the girl's a bitch.