I just got here as a result of someone ELSE'S ambition and drive. I went along for the ride, and as a result have ended up quite far from my original destination.

PS - Your signature is still making my eyes hurt.

CarrieMpls said:

I love your signature.

So what you're saying is that your life is the result of just coasting?

ZombieKitten said:

Which was?

And do you see yourself steering it in that original direction some day. Or is it one of those directions where you HAD to make a the right turn in the road a few miles back?

How'd U End UP where U ARE NOW?

Imago said:

Zelaira? Is that you?

Imago,

it's always so hard for me to hear about people that get kicked out of their homes by their own family. Most of the people that I've met that this has happened to are really strong. I admire that. I just hate that they and you had to go through so much.

Is it weird that I feel like I missed so much because my parents spoiled me to death. I think I'm not as strong as most because of it.

...I'm only sayin'.

Imago said:

Zelaira? Is that you?

2the9s said:

I really hate you sometimes

I find that a strong supporting family often gives children confidence.

in part a series of bad decisions, manipulation and guilt from others but my drive, determination, stubborness, and always burning attitude of never being defeated along with my blood, sweat and many... many... many... many tears.

OK, if you want the whole story...

I left my parent's house to attend school at the University of Minnesota and lived in the dorms. I had no money saved and only a partial stafford loan to pay for school. I didn't qualify for any more than that in financial aid as my parents made too much money. I knew I needed a second loan but didn't qualify and my parents refused to co-sign for me, telling me if I needed money to let them know and they'd help. I worked while in school and was able to pay for my first semester and when it came time to pay for second semester I called them for help, they said they didn't have it and I had to drop out already.

I moved back home for a short period. They gave me a car. (Nice priorities, eh?) I later moved in with my oldest friend who was looking for a roommate. What I didn't know is that she had become quite the meth head. It was a bizarre few months with sometimes up to 6 people staying with us in a one-bedroom apartment. Within 3 months I moved out into my own first real apartment with a friend of mine, Trevor.

These were fun times. I worked managing a movie theatre and going out all the time. The summer I turned 21 I quit the job and moved to Madison, WI just for the heck of it. I didn't work the entire time I was there (as I sublet an apartment for the summer and paid it all upfront), and spent the summer going to the library and coffee shops every day and going dancing or watching movies at home every night. I'd spend hours each morning creating new outfits to wear. I gave plasma for food and drink money.

I never really caught my groove there, so moved home at the end of the summer. Found a job, reconnected with old friends, met a bunch of cool new friends and have simply been living life ever since. My early 20's were spent working by day and clubbing by night. Somehow my clubbing hobby turned into a travel hobby along the way, but that's about it.

I’ve told this story so many times, it’s kind of sad that I don’t get all the facts straight each time. But, regardless if I miss a thing here or there, or I contradict myself, I’m telling the story to the best of my memory at this time, and hope you get the point anyways.

When I was 19 and in my freshman year in College, I was still living with my parents. I was a painfully shy young man for the most part, and kind of lost. I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I figured I may join the military and let them pay for my college and train in some skillset.

One thing I knew was that I wasn’t going to living in Birmingham Alabama for the rest of my mortal life. But the question was how would I get out? I was scared.

But one cold November evening, just a couple weeks before my birthday, my father threw me out of the house over an argument I had with my mother. Mind you, I was a quiet kid, employed, night student, and completely self-sufficient with regards to finances and keeping myself fed. I hadn’t eatin a meal using my parents food since I was 16 years old, thanks to the employment I was given by the “Fu’s”, a nice Chinese family that kept me alive during my teenage years.
But on that Cold November night, my folks just threw me out. I still remember that night. Everything that I had been worrying about the hours previous to that just melted away. It was as if I skipped a few steps in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in a split second. Nobody would take me in from the cold and give me a place to stay but my Friend Mandy. I crashed at her place overnight, and spent the following day looking for someone who would agree to take me in as a roommate. Finally, my boss’s younger brother, Kam, agreed to do it without hesitation.
Kam you see, was a flaming homosexual. Not just gay, but gaaaaayyyyy as hell. And though I never disliked homosexuals, I never considered them anything more than odd abnormalities. This of course was before I agreed to search some of my own sexual tendancies. I always made fun of them and poked fun at Kam. My own parents denied their flesh and blood but he agreed to house me? And they were allowed to marry and fuck a family totally up, and he doesn’t even to this day stand a chance of that? Fuck that shit.
Anyways, that week instead of acing my exams (I was a straight “A” student), I ended up dropping a couple of my classes, and scoring a “C” average in one from having bombed the final. I was a daze. I ended up spending that MONTH looking for more employment so I could move into an apartment, and talking to a recruiter from the Air Force.
This lead to a series of events that ended up having me join the Air Force on a hot ass June morning in 1992. I ended up going to Germany and to Tampa, and along the way, meeting some of the best friends I have ever had, and opening my mind up to the world around me. I met people who weren’t hateful, or racist, or backwards. I met people who expanded and enriched my life in totally awesome ways.

In 1996, after having gotten back from Germany and living in Tampa for a couple of years, my sister, who I had not seen since 1992 called me up and said she was coming down to visit me. She had just gotten out of a really bad 4 year relationship with some asshole.
One month prior to her meeting me, I befriended a guy by the name of Trent Minter. He was totally not the type of person that would normally hang out with me. He was sort of a frat boy type of person, but very polite, and smart. We started going to art shows, exhibits, and cultural events around Tampa.
When my sister came to Tampa, she met Trent, and it was instant love at first site. No more than a year later, they married, and a couple of years after that had their first child.
Today, I enjoy a family that is no longer broken like it was, with two beautiful nephews, a laundry list of friends from my military days, and self-confidence and social skills I never really possessed before, and it was thanks that that cold, lonely, November evening.

It’s all a matter of perspective I guess.



.
[Edited 8/3/07 20:47pm]

CarrieMpls said:

I loved that about my 20's.

I swear 2 or 3 hours of sleep (if I got it) was great. Then I would just go through my job during the day in a semi-daze not giving a shit about it or my career, only take take a quick nap that afternoon so I could get ready to go out again that night.
years and years of this, I ended up doing.
I think it wasn't until I was 27 that I wok up and said "oh Shit. I gotta find a career to follow "

statuesqque said:

You sound like you'd be fun in bed though.

Imago said:

Zelaira? Is that you?