http://www.artybees.co.nz...index.html

By Shepard Mead, illustrated by Claude, Panther, 1957, paperback

This is a title which I'm sure will appeal to many readers, and you'll also be pleased to hear that it "really works!"

With edifiying chapter headings such as "How to Be Irresistible in Short Trousers," "How to Train the First Wife", and "How to Select Your Second Wife", how could it possibly fail?

Let's just provide a few examples of the indispensable advice contained within this natty little volume:


On making suitable choices:

"The fun-loving qualities of the perfect fiancée have no place in the first wife, who will be allowed little time for unproductive merriment."

"The first wife... must be practical and serviceable... She will be your wife during the early, hard years before you can afford a staff of servants. She will serve as mother, cook, housemaid, chauffeur, nurse, and charwoman. This will allow her, if she is nimble, six or seven hours of sleep a night, ample for a sturdy girl."

The Pinch Test: "Using the thumb and forefinger, exert gentle pressure along certain key muscles. A girl with good muscular tone will wear well and last for years, even if neglected occasionally."

On choosing a second wife: "Finally, she must be good-natured, understanding, and tolerant, for as you advance in years you will become grumpier and less manageable."

IrresistibleB1tch said:

So which kind of wife are you? First or second?

The Pinch Test: "Using the thumb and forefinger, exert gentle pressure along certain key muscles. A girl with good muscular tone will wear well and last for years, even if neglected occasionally."


"C'mere and let me test ya, ya fine specimen of womanhood, H'ya" :whipcracksoundeffect:

scififilmnerd said:

still his first. probably somebody else's second soon, if i continue with this boring, no-vice thing...