Yes, I will be playing the puppet Skyler "The Scampering Sky Squirrel" in a Vacation Bible School production directed by my wife.

Last year I was such a hit as Professor Who, the wise vaguely British "stick in the mud" owl that I was asked back again this year with much enthusiasm. I hired an agent after last year's multi-nominated performance but none of my demands were met. I asked for a much higher budget so that a fully functional animatronic puppet could be built, so that my vocal inflection could be met with realistic facial expression. Instead I get the usual cloth puppet with the hand coming from the spinal cord area of the squirrel and a mouth that is not big enough for my stately hand.

I also asked for 3-4 bodyguards to keep back autograph seekers/ annoying fifth graders back but this was denied. As "the talent" I feel let down that my demands both physical and salary-wise ($500,000 for five appearances) were not met. I was told that I could have all the leftover pizza that I wanted as well as a free multi-colored hat.

I must admit that despite my salary and other demands that someone of my talent deserves, the part of a flying squirrel calls to me. I am coming from a place of angst with him, maybe throwing some shades of early DeNiro with a little Daniel Day Lewis from "My Left Foot" thrown in. I mean what is a flying squirrel anyway but a pained creature searching for identity in a cold, hard world of definites and absolutes? I will be coming from the angle of "am I a mammal, am I a bird". Why have I been put on this earth if my meaning is so nebulous and my purpose is still in the grey mist of uncertainty? Four year olds eat that crap up.

So anyway wish me luck this week as I turn this Vacation Bible School on its ear. And don't feel too bad for me. At least I am sleeping with the director.




A flying squirrel in all of its beauty...only I can interpret its pain.

break a leg!!



not literally though

I love you!


Do you have any dressing room riders (sp?) like white lillies or puce coloured towels?

CHIC0 said:

I have actually been told that any harm that comes to my person would be okay as long as my hands and golden voice were preserved.

sj1600 said:

Acorns. Lots of lot of acorns. But I have asked for the green ones to be picked out.

GottaLetitgo said:

awesome

I'll wait for the DVD

PANDURITO said:

The Director's cut will feature outtakes and numerous instances of diva-like behavior. I will also be doing a voice-over commentary ("Yes, here is where a kid threw a spitball at Skyler and I did several lines of dialogue with a loogie on my nose") and there will be an alternate ending where Skyler finds out he's actually...a wombat!!!

Another original and entertaining thread.

Imago said:

Yes, there is a shocking dearth of flying squirrel or puppet threads around here.

Check out this bad ass mofo!

Okay, the puppet stage curtain was transparent and several of the children called Skyler a monkey. And they did not even have Perrier available to quench my thirst. But I was wonderful of course. I will probably ruin the role of flying squirrels for all future performers.
[Edited 6/25/07 20:14pm]

Always great threads, Gotta

I'll just add two things. First, the theme song for the Vacation Bible School is a little number called "Lift Off" which, honest to goodness, sounds like a "Parade" era outtake. And tonight is purple night, which means everybody is supposed to wear purple. I am going to wear my 1984 era "Purple Rain" t-shirt. It's a bit snug but as "the talent" I can do whatever I want,

are there any mooses in this production, or russian agents...?

my favorite vacation bible school moment was when bobbi accidentally sucked tempra paint up her straw instead of using the straw to blow it around her picture. while she was coughing and sputtering paint, laura and i were cracking up. that little girl is going to be an olympian soon so i guess it didn't do her any harm

you rock, skylar!

I'm better drawn

PANDURITO said:

I was wracking my brain to think of all the famous flying squirrels and apparently there's just the one, Rocky. That is until after this week when Skyler will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

BlackAdder7 said:

I am rewriting the script as we speak but unfortunately I do not have final cut.

emm said:

I suggested that we have our group this year design an actual working hot air balloon out of rubber bands and popsicle sticks but apparently most of the four year olds know nothing about physics and whatnot. Bummer.