Man.

There are fueds going on rite now with both my immediate family and my in laws.

And everyone keeps coming to me with their shit, adn I have to keep trying to get everyone to make up and get along, and it gets old.

Why do people have to be so damn stubborn and difficult??

Cripe life is to short.

My husband and his dad are fighthing and I spent half the day yesterday and today trying to go between the two of them to make up with eachother.

I told my husband hes lucky he has a Dad so get over it.

Do you's find yourselves constantly being the go between with angry family members?

It's exhausting.

Wow. Thanks for all the advice and support.



Whatever.

It's Miller time.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Wow, that's rough being in the middle like that. I'm easy to get along with, but I stay out of family issues/disagreements. I let people duke it out amongst themselves.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

NO - not anymore

with my mom's slow downfall my brothers have tried to place me exactly there

when I feel I am being manipulated I have zero tolerence and NO problem saying "OH HELL NO !" even to family

I am a natural mediator and also not so easy to get along with when pushed

I respect myself enough to say NO and mean NO

Mach said:

I hear you....YES. I've been there when it has come to the decisions over my Fathers health. THAT is hard.

How do you deal with a situation though, where you feel like, if you DON'T get your family members to resolve their issues, that it is going to affect your children?

Pshycodelicide :

Mach said:

I need to learn how to say no more often. I'm always afraid that if I say no, I will hurt or anger the other person.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

How are ya?

psychodelicide said:

Good. Good. You?

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Doing okay.

I've simply distanced myself from people who can't get along. I refuse to have that kind of negativity around. It's too draining.

Man, that's rough I'm always the mediator because I generally get along with everybody but more importantly I tend to see and understand all sides and points of view. (even when I act as though I don't in my own situations)

TotalANXiousNESS said:

I would always put my children 1st and formost - no one, not my parents not my siblings and not my husband's family comes before that.

CarrieMpls said:

AMEN!!
And a gunshot to the roof will bring QUICK shut-the-fuck-up-ness to your household.

CarrieMpls said:

Exactly ... even if they are family, I just do not have the time, desire or energy to be around it anymore

it depends on the person.

most of the time i can be a mediator, but there are some personality types i'm going to clash with no matter what. i'm usually pretty good at clocking them from the start and keeping a distance, but in situations when there's some kind of head-butting going on, yeah, i need to bring in an impartial 3rd party to mediate.

usually i stay out of everything, but lately, yes. i really dislike doing it but i can't stop myself at the same time.

I'm sincere, so if I find someone irritating, boring or disgusting, I just let him/her know.

Yep, I'm usually the mediator.


M

TotalANXiousNESS said:

If you have a problem that might be too big for you to handle, maybe you should call:



The A-Team

I have two older sisters that are 2 years apart from one another, they have arguments all the time. Then call me to tell their side....sometimes I have them on the phone/different phone lines, at the same time! sucks!
I do not take sides, I just listen, what I want to say is, shut-up!
[Edited 7/5/07 14:29pm]

CarrieMpls said:

I've had to do that with my father. We live in the same town so it is VERY difficult. It also makes me very sad.

I can be extremely diplomatic in a really effective way when I try, and difficult when I don't.

I try less than I used to.

I am not good at fixing problems so family usually doesnt come to me for that kind of stuff. But I do try and be a good example and get along with all my family which is very difficult when one has such a huge family

Both.

at the first sign of conflict my gut reaction is to flee

I am always the one that gets along with everyone- both sides if you will so then i get stuck in the middle.

abierman said:

Well, everything is resolved on teh inlaw front. Thats the one that had me really stressed out. Because, my husband and his dad were fighting....and my kids ADORE my father in law, so then my father in law, AS EXPECTED, tried to turn my 4 yr old son, against his own father.....it ridiculous.

So I worked on both of them for like 2 hrs thursday night, and they are back together now.

And as EXPECTED after I got THEM reconciled, they both turned on ME.

I don't know. I'm usually just...there.




Oh and I'm a lover not a fighter. But there's not much fighting going on in my family anyway. Hardly ever.

I usually hold back with involvement as much as possible. Given enough rope, the guilty party hangs themnself.
With stepchildren, I'm hands off. I don't cause conflicts nor try mediating. There's too many family already dealing with those situations including an ex-wife.