No need for alarm, it's not a leaving thread or anything compelling like that. It's just a brief sojourn.

As the very astute among you may have noticed, I've been drinking a lot lately and been a bit under the weather, to say the least, partly as a result of that. I've been going through a bit of a spiritual and mental crisis in the last few months, and particularly the last couple of weeks, despite my happiness with many things in my life (my marriage, for one). I've been struggling to halt a slide in my lifestyle and behaviour which has left me pretty much useless and drifting inexorably towards broken relationships and a much worse version of me that I don't want.

As such, I won't be here for a while, nor on myspace, though for those who know my email address please do send me a message to let me know what's what and I'll get back to you. If anyone wants my email address, and I hate to be presumptuous like this, do orgnote me.

I owe (or rather I just need to be able to give) my wife Mon more than what I'm giving if I'm to keep us moving forward and hopefully start a family. I've been under quite a bit of pressure for a few years and it's starting to take its toll. I need to get back to what I was doing pre-Thailand as far as spiritually and physically looking after myself. I want to start a family (another one, our own) but I've got to be better in many ways to be where I want to be and be ready for that. What I'm doing now is not just marking or wasting time, it's destructive to everything.

I'd like to hopefully have some friendly faces on this thread, to show my appreciation for folks and, frankly, have some kind words from them. I'll be sure to let Mon know, too. She'll know where I'll be.

Sorry to be vague or quite likely rather dramatic. I'd just appreciate a few friendly faces.

Good luck in your search and effort my friend, you are loved and admired and this is part of the reason. Be well, work hard and if you need anything then you know where to get hold of those that care.

Best of luck to you with your reflections.....I recently had to undergo similar introspection....the first phase being almost completed while I'm out here...the more difficult phase coming when I get home and my wife and I hammer out the last bit of bumpy roads.....face to face....

take care....

First off I must say:

I understand and as usual honour and respect your wishes.
I need you to know that you will be missed here- your humour especially.

I will be e-mailing you more soon.
Take care and be well my friend

I am sure you will sort it all out- you have taken the first step in realising you need to help yourself and you need to concentrate on your loved ones. As i have said before- Mon is a lucky girl though I am sure she knows it already!
[Edited 6/17/07 5:41am]

Best wishes to you.

You will be missed while you are away.

All the best, man. Take care of yourself.

Good luck Fauxie. I know exactly where you're coming from, because I've been there, I AM there, and I totally get it.

We'll miss you! Come back though someday.

mdiver said:

Thanks Phil, I appreciate it. In many ways I'm just doing what I intended to when I decided to come back out here after the first time, before a girl got in the way. I'm giving one of my 'praa' to you and Val (for all your kindness), if not physically, but at least in my thoughts. It's hanging round my neck now but it's yours and I'll always consider you in my thoughts when wearing it.

Dude, you're married now. You're supposed to be a broken frame of your former self with a gloomier outlook on life. You've found that special someone who will kill you more slowly and painfully than anything or anyone else will. It's just marriage. You don't need spiritual reawakening.

What you really need is a job.




somehow/someone spelling edit
[Edited 6/17/07 6:00am]

reneGade20 said:

Thank you. Best of luck with what you're trying to achieve, and be safe out there. I appreciate what you're doing.

Fauxie said:

wow.....no words can express what that means

shanti0608 said:

Thank you. Your words mean so much to me. You're a good friend, and a reason why I don't think glibly of internet friendships. I look forward to emails from you.

WillyWonka said:

Thank you.

Fauxie said:

WOW- speechless. TY!!

Fauxie said:

You're welcome....and thanx for the well wishes....

Ace said:

Thank you.

Keep starting your threads. They invariably have pretty women on them.

minneapolisgenius said:

Thank you!

How are you doing? Are you where you want to be?

Imago said:

I know, I got what I wanted, right? Actually, in all honesty, if I were to talk about married life I'd only have positive things to say. Mon and I were together for 5 or 6 years before we married, and I thought I'd seen what married life would be like, but she stepped it up after signing that paper. There's been a wonderful respect there and more love. BUT, and I'm not conceding I'm some low-life here, I need to step it up even more. I've a lot of responsibility and I've got to be 150%. I haven't been that and what it comes down to is being the best you can be and being able to give everything you can possibly give.

Thanks again for the t-shirt, boo.

Fauxie said:

None of what you wrote indicates to me that you're going to look for applications today.


indicates/indications edit
[Edited 6/17/07 6:21am]

Fauxie said:

You're welcome.

Well, I've been in limbo for quite some time regarding where/who/what I want to be, with a lot of moments of complete insanity along the way recently. We'll be moving from Holland though to the States (after 9 years of living in Europe) in the fall hopefully.

It's a MUCH needed change for me I think. Fingers crossed! But yeah, I can identify with so much of what you were saying. (it sounds like you may be the male version of me actually)

mdiver said:

Either you and Val are collaborating on your responses or... something else.

The 'praa' is chipped and flawed like nobody's business, but if you look closely all the details are there. It sought me out but I think at this point it's more appropriate for you guys. If you're interested it was salvaged from a temple in Ayuthuya after the city fell as the capital of Thailand. I think the perseverance could come in handy, though I'd like to hold on to it for now if you'll let me. But like I said, it's yours.

minneapolisgenius said:

I hope it goes well for you. Are you excited?

The male version of you? I've seen your pics, so

But seriously, thank you.

Fauxie said:

It is beautiful and I truly appreciate that you would think of us when it comes to something so special. I remember you posting pics of it before and talking about it. Also I remember it on your profile
I cannot express to you what your friendship has meant to me- no need to give me something material- you have already given me so much by being my friend.
You have enriched my life more than you will ever know just by always being there to chat with, being honest, compassionate and being someone I admire and look up to very much.

Fauxie said:

I am still stunned.....ask Valory i am not usually speechless

Imago said:

Fauxie said:

But I think you look great in that t-shirt

be well, Faux!

Fauxie said:

I'm really excited.

And seriously, I hope things look up for you.

Good for you, fauxie. Take care and come back soon.