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Overheard in MPLS today...is this appealing? Don't They All Live In Their Parent's Basements?
Woman in converation about carnival workers: I'll go drop $5 on the ring toss. I want to support the carnies. They need to get drunk and high tonight and somebody needs to pay for that shit! Robbinsdale "Whiz Bang Days" Overheard by I hope they're sharing. _____ She's Eating Too Much Of Her Soap. Crazy 40-Year-Old Woman, half singing, half talking: I'm so beautiful, so beautiful. I would rather get raped than not be beautiful. I have so much fancy soap. So much soap. I would rather get raped than have my soap taken away from me. Wendy's at Dale and University Overheard by choking on my hamburger. _____ Technically. Child whining loudly: I wanna sit doooowwwnnn!!! Mom: You ARE sitting down. Minnesota Zoo Overheard by The children definately outnumber us here. _____ Everyone, Take The Shuttle This Year! Guy: When state fair time comes around, I always park right in the peoples front lawn. Girl: Why don't you just ride the shuttle? Guy: Because when I decide I am way too drunk and need to go home I know right where my car is at and I can just drive myself home whenever I want. State Fairgrounds/ Back to the Fifties Overheard by Maybe they should stick to 3.2. _____ Their Futures Have Already Been Scripted. Early-teenaged girl #1: Have you ever thought you were pregnant? Early-teenaged girl #2: Omigosh, YES. I was going to overdose on vitamin C, because everyone knows that causes the baby to abort itself. Slightly-older teenaged boy: Um, you can't overdose on vitamin C. It's water solubule, which means it's impossible to overdose with. *Blank stares from both girls* Early-teenaged girl #2: ... but it turned out I wasn't pregnant. THAT was a relief. I mean, I wouldn't want to hurt MYSELF in the process, you know? Early-teenaged girl #1: Phew, yeah. *Boy shakes his head and goes in the water* South beach at Lake Calhoun Overheard by laughing into my beach towel. _____ Where In The Hell Is She From? Woman on Street: You see this bridge overhead? It's called a skyway. We have an entire indoor world where you never have to go outside. Her out of town guest: It's like a futuristic hamster city! _____ Nicollet Mall outside of Target You Lost Credibility At "Heroin." Guy #1: I'm not saying heroin isn't a cool drug, but crack... I love crack. I smoke it a lot. Guy #2: Yeah, I've never tried it. Guy #1: No, I'm just kidding. I don't smoke crack Bus Route #16 _____ Wow, That Was Easy. 20-something guy: Hey I totally forgot, it's Bastille 20-something girl: What's Bastille Day? 20-something guy: It's the official French national holiday. 20-something girl: Ohh right.. The fuck is a bastille? 20-something guy: (obviously messing with the girl) It's french for, like, the son of someone who's a bastard. Like, "Hey I'm a huge bastard, and this is my bastille." See that kid over there? (Points across the street to kid throwing a tantrum.) Total bastille. 20-something girl: (disgusted and oblivious) Ew, major bastille. S Lyndale & 24th Overheard by does that make me a bastille? _____ Close. (in a conversation about Donald Rumsfeld) Guy #1: You know who he is, right? Guy #2: Yeah... he was the CEO of Enron, right? Flaherty's Overheard by Mmmm...maybe not. _____ Oh, The Injustice In This World! Woman: You don't have f***ing bananas. Again. This is like the third f***ing time in a row. I seriously drove 30 minutes for this. This is f***ing ridiculous. (Storms out without ordering anything.) Izzy's Ice Cream Overheard by Next in line. _____ Just Google It. Little boy: Dad, I wanna be a girl. Dad: Uhh, buddy, I can't help you with that. Room and Board Outlet Overheard by Another patron _____ Can That Defense Work In Court? Guy on cell phone: No, my point is that you've always been an outstanding citizen, despite your stupidity! Excelsior and Grand-overheard _____ What Is This System Of Numbers? 40-something man: How much is this ring? Worker: There should be a little tag on there with the price. 40-something man: But there's just numbers on that. Worker: Ummm... [baffled] well, what numbers are on it? 40-something man: A 3 and a 0. Worker: Yeah, that would be thirty dollars then. weisman art museum Overheard by really? it's that hard? _____ We Do It, And We Do It Well. Poser in his 20's: Dude, watch what you say... it might end up on that Overheard in Minneapolis website and you'll look like an idiot. That's what they do there. They make you look like a douche. Opus Hall at St. Thomas Overheard by Ironic, who promptly wrote this down. _____ As Fun As That Sounds... Loud crazy woman: Senator Ted Kennedy! 1976! Murder! We all know it was murder. Senator Ted Kennedy! You can run anywhere, but it's GOD'S EARTH. It's God's earth, and you can't run from the Almighty, and you will face his justice! Hey, I know! Why don't we all go rob a bank and go to jail? We're ALL going to jail! 4th Street and Nicollet Mall Overheard by hoping the bus comes soon. _____ And Irrational Paranoia. 20 something Guy #1: They are just trying to control you.. .you know that right? 20 something Guy #2: (mumbles) 20 something Guy #1: I'm telling you, it's all about control. arcade in the Burnsville Center Overheard by Just here to Shop. _____ Naturally. Woman #2 after hearing about someone's death from Woman #1: Ohh my gosh. Woman #1: Yeah, so the funeral's on Monday. Woman #3: Ooh, are you going to get your nails done? Deephaven Overheard by she totally is. _____ Is This Good News Or Bad News? Customer in line behind me(recognizing the Clerk as an old friend): HEEEYYYY!! Convenience Store Clerk (obviously surprised to see Customer): Whoa! I didn't expect to see you here! Customer: Didn't you hear? I just got out of jail 3 days ago! SA in Burnsville Overheard by just gimme my speedy rewards points. _____ A Giant Faucet. Woman talking to her husband at Lock #1 Observation Deck as lock fills for boat to come through: Where does all the water come from? Mississippi River Lock #1 Overheard by Dismal Scientist. _____ Well, A Little. Guy #1: You just got back from Africa? That's sweet. Did you get aids? Guy #2: That's not funny. taste of minnesota _____ Apparently we have crazy people here too, including me..damn, I need to go to bed, but I just keep laughing! K If you have to ask, it's more than worth it. | |
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Just Google It.
Little boy: Dad, I wanna be a girl. Dad: Uhh, buddy, I can't help you with that. That's cute. [Edited 7/16/07 23:40pm] | |
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_____
What Is This System Of Numbers? 40-something man: How much is this ring? Worker: There should be a little tag on there with the price. 40-something man: But there's just numbers on that. Worker: Ummm... [baffled] well, what numbers are on it? 40-something man: A 3 and a 0. Worker: Yeah, that would be thirty dollars then. weisman art museum Overheard by really? it's that hard? | |
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what the hell kind of city am i moving to?!? | |
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