CarrieMpls said:

Sure you can choose how to look at things, but doing that is part of one's pursuit of happiness which may or may not succeed. Some people seem to think that an unhappy person can just tell themselves one day that "From now on I'm going to be happy" and then it will magically turn out that way, but that's bullshit. At best, you'd be sweeping your problems under the rug which means that they would become temporarily invisible but they'd still be there. At worst, your self-deceit might make you completely delusional.



Not if what caused it is still actively and repeatedly influencing your life, which is the case for a lot of people on Earth.



You can find those who can, yes, but there are also plenty of people whose circumstances or personality types don't allow them to do that.

I think it would have been great if it had all ultimately been a matter of perspective and attitude, but that's not how it is in this world. Instead of focusing on the rare examples that defy all odds and succeed in finding happiness and fool ourselves into thinking of that as living proof that it can be done for everybody no matter the circumstances, we should instead accept life in al its gory glory and focus our efforts on removing the main and most common causes for unhappiness and downright suffering. In other words, when it comes learning from reality I'd choose a common example of a life situation over an unusual success story any day since the former is the rule and the latter is the exception.

I fully admit it is more difficult for some than others. But it IS an achievable goal for all.

CarrieMpls said:

In theory, yes. In practice, often the answer is no. Unfortunately.

retina said:

but if it is in theory, than it can be in practice.

CarrieMpls said:

I knew you'd say that, so let me clarify: I mean that under ideal circumstances everybody could find happiness, sure, so in that sense it is possible in theory. But since those circumstances never ever actually occur for an enormous number of people, the theoretic possibility is only of academic interest.

CarrieMpls said:

I knew you'd say that, so let me clarify: I mean that under ideal circumstances everybody could find happiness, sure, so in that sense it is possible in theory. But since those circumstances never ever actually occur for an enormous number of people, the theoretic possibility is only of academic interest.

retina said:

Under ideal circumstances others could be just as miserable as you are.

As a Buddhist I find the world to be tipped towards suffering and dissatisfaction--this doesn't mean one needs to succumb to a fatal view of his own life. Under many circumstances we can affect positive changes in our own lives. But your not interested in that sort of non retina-conforming drivel.

Imago said:

I don't think that's fair. I totaly get what retina's saying, I just don't agree. Why do you have to take it a step further and call someone miserable?

CarrieMpls said:

I knew you'd say that, so let me clarify: I mean that under ideal circumstances everybody could find happiness, sure, so in that sense it is possible in theory. But since those circumstances never ever actually occur for an enormous number of people, the theoretic possibility is only of academic interest.

Imago said:

I don't think that's fair. I totaly get what retina's saying, I just don't agree. Why do you have to take it a step further and call someone miserable?

2the9s said:

CarrieMpls said:

I think, here, it's actually constructive.

r's trying to tell everyone that, if they're unhappy, they just might be resigned to that fate. That's a misguided and potentially dangerous notion.

Christaro said:

Because we're here. Roll the bones.

To say that we're here for a reason is to imply that there is a "god" or some kind of design to existence, which I don't believe.

Based on most people's behavior, we seem to be here to perfect the concept of denial. Then we die and cease to exist in any way, shape or form.

The good news? "Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it." - Woody Allen

Equally misguided and dangerous is the notion that unhappiness is the result of a poor attitude or laziness.

God, being the the Ulimate Spiritual "Buck-Stops-Here", does not Himself believe in God. He has no one to spiritually look up to above Him
therefore He has no one to whom He can pray to for spiritual guidance or strength.
So God Himself is an atheist ( which in itself is a paradox because it means that He has no one to deny as a "god"
{and that in itself is a conundrum that tends to really piss Him off because since He's the Guy who created the concept of irony in the first place, He realizes that He only has Himself to blame}).

I think that God did create Life, ergo Us, for a purpose. And that purpose is to realize that He doesn't exist.
That way, we can experience the same frustration that He does.

coolcat said:

Who said that?

Ace said:

Nobody. Sorry. Just thinking out loud.

MsLegs said:

Whatever your heart, soul, and body desires, M'lady.....

JustErin said:

To make other people happy.

CarrieMpls said:

I think, here, it's actually constructive.

r's trying to tell everyone that, if they're unhappy, they just might be resigned to that fate. That's a misguided and potentially dangerous notion.

Ace said:

misguided and dangerous is the notion that unhappiness is the result of a poor attitude or laziness.

coolcat said:

Exactly.

retina said:

Keep in mind, the notions aren't mutually exclusive. I'd agree that unhappiness isn't the result of poor attitude or laziness. At least, the majority of the time. And yet I think it is acheiveable for everyone.

Ace said:

To underestimate exterior causes for unhappiness is the biggest mistake you can ever make. I'd love to see you go to Zimbabwe, get up on a podium and tell the suffering masses who are enduring the threat of rape, torture and murder every day that "the happiness is there within you". Now there's misguided and dangerous for you.

under ideal circumstances everybody could find happiness, sure, so in that sense it is possible in theory. But since those circumstances never ever actually occur for an enormous number of people, the theoretic possibility is only of academic interest.

Unless you're being held somewhere against your will, there are no circumstances I can think of that you can't transcend.

RodeoSchro said:

Are you driven to make others happy because you can't face feeling empty?

ConsciousContact said:

No, I've felt empty plenty of times. That's normal. No one is happy all the time.

But I am happiest when I am making someone else happy.

How about you? When are you happiest?

RodeoSchro said:

i love this post

Now you're using an extreme example to try and support your argument that "an enormous number of people" face circumstances that prevent them from finding happiness. So which is it?