Just asking. I am engaged and let's just say that my mother in law and I don't get on. Does this mean my marriage will fail? I get on fine with my man's dad and his stepmom and his granny.

Nope. It'll create some awkward moments, but usually it's not enough to fail a marriage.

You sure, cause I came across this on a message board and it freaked me the fuck out:

" It's really hard for a relationship to be
successful if your mother does not like your spouse or
significant other. Sunday dinners and family
gettogethers will be hell.

I'm not taking sides, but it's a fact of life. If your
mother is not happy, you probably ain't gonna be happy
either."

Well, I'm not sure, since each relationship is unique, so there are no set rules that it will or will not work.
My brother married someone, who my family can't stand. My brother loves her enough and sees the future with her, so he doesn't let the rest of the family decide for him. If they don't like her, that's their problem and they will have to deal with it.

I accept her because she's his wife, it's his choice and I support whatever he feels is good for him.

I've always heard the saying when you marry, you marry the whole family. It's not to say your doomed but it could cause friction during get togethers and whatnot....

But I get along with everyone but her. Well, to be honest, I am wary of my man's sisters-there are 3 of them, all about 10+ years older than me and we have nothing in common. But his father's side I get along great with.

It absolutely can ruin a marriage if you and your spouse on not on the same page when it comes to dealing with a difficult family member.

Damn,
I thought these DOOM threads were done with already.

When I married my husband, I was 28, 1st and only marriage, and he was 42 and on his 3rd marriage. My mother-in-law, along with everyone else,thought it was temporary. Here it is, 25 years later and we're still married.
Under no uncertain terms live within a few blocks of the in-laws. Move out of town, with or without the hubby.....(I still can't believe the BS I endured)

it's not the best foundation

filmnoirdame said:

If you make her son happy, she will have no option but to accept you.

Don't freak out. At the end of the day, you both love the man.

BlackAdder7 said:

I think the husband's attitude towards it all matters. In my case, my husband is an only child. He and my mother-in-law were extremely close and had a mutual lack of respect for my opinions on family matters due to my youth and inexperience.
If the husband supports the negative attitude (including doing nothing to counteract it) the situation is going to suck. It will be miserable.

So how did you get your man to start listening to your opinion?

JustErin said:

I agree with JustErin...your marriage won't be ruined as long as your spouse stands up to his Mom, when and if she does things that might upset you or hurt you or if she trys to cause trouble with you and her Son. But my advice to you, you are marrying him..not his Mother! Stand firm, because what really matters in the end, is what the two of you share, and the future you are trying to build together! Hope that helps!

Hands up those who get along well with their mothers-in-law

PANDURITO said:

I have loved all three of my mothers in laws....yep been married 3 times and got on with all of them.

blueblossom said:

..thank goodness..finally..I too have been married 3 times (felt like I was put on trial for that one by someone..lol)..I as well got along with all of mine, they had more issues with their sons than they did me..

filmnoirdame said:

JUST KEEP HER OUT OF YOUR BUSINESS and if she tries to pry, let her know everything that goes on in your house is between you and your husband and make sure HE KNOWS that also.

-speaking from experience because my Mother-in-Law and I do are NOT on good terms like we should be.

My mother hates my brother's wife, but he could give a fuck. I don't think it's harmed their marriage. Other things probably have, but not that.

Ok, I am feeling a bit better now

My grandmother HATES my mother- and has for the last 44 years! So I don't think it ruined my parents' marriage!

However... I ended up NOT getting married because I couldn't get along with my EX-fiance's older daughter. I tried my best, but she threw everything in my path that she could! Finally, with other problems we were having, he used the "daughter card" as a backup!

BUT I loved his mother! We got along great- we kept in touch for a while, until it was my choice to cut ties with her...

filmnoirdame said:

She passed away.....

Can't say ... I get along very well with both my husbands parents

PANDURITO said:

not just well... very well

What was it exactly that made you have a good relationship with your mother-in-law?

In my case, avoid the topics that didn't involve me and caused conflicts. Particularily those involving the ex-wife and adult step kids.

I am the QUEEN of difficult in laws.

My Father in Law is down rite certifiable, and THEN my husband also has three older sisters.

It can ABSOLUTELY fuck with your marriage.

Its something that husband and wife need to come to an understanding about PRONTO or it can lead to HUGE problems in the marriage.

And that NOTHING, wait till you start having kids. Then the inlaw problems REALLY come into play.

My future husband has 3 older sisters as well-how can that screw stuff up?
[Edited 6/9/07 12:29pm]

filmnoirdame said:

How can that screw stuff up?????

Are you SERIOUS?????

Well okay, first lemme just ask....are ANY of them divorcee's or single moms with NO signifigant other?