Yesterday was one of the most surreal days of my entire life so far.
I have had a great aunt in the hospital for about four months. She was quite old (late 80s) and had been ill for some time. Her family on my dad's side put her in the hospital as they found it difficult to care for her at home. She quickly deteriorated there after.
Anyway yesterday, we got the call to come down to the hospital as they didnt think it would be long now before she passed. i got down there and my mom was there and the other family members. My dad didnt want to go as he gets freaked out at things like that. He suffered a heart attack several years ago so he understands what death could be like.
i gave my cousin a good hug to say that its all gonna be ok and had a look at my great aunt.
so we stood around the bed for a few hours watching this woman slowly fade away from us, her breathing getting shallower and shallower until her mouth didnt move anymore from the inhaling and exhaling. her daughter (my dad's cousin) couldnt be in the room so she walked out - she didnt want to see her mother die. we were all crying as we watched my great aunt real slowly stop breathing. a real surreal moment happened when all of this was happening, was that my mom was at her right side holding onto her and squeezing and kneading her right arm as if information was being transfered. my mom was crying her eyes out, chanting some kind of prayer (my mom is deeply religious), i was standing behind her holding onto her, i was balling my eyes out as well. my dad's cousin was outside crying for her mother who was about to leave us at that very moment.

then we just watched as her breathing stop, then we watched her pulse on her neck slowly just pump it's last bits of blood to wherever it was going. then it just stopped and we realized she was gone. just like in the movies, a tone sounded on one of the machines altho it didnt sound as urgent as it does in the movies. it was quite faint and low. a minute or two later a nurse came in and checked the pulse and turned to us and offered her condolences.
after that, her daughter came back in the room and just opened a floodgate of tears, as we all did. it was so heart wrenching.

i wont go into all the details after that but all i can say is that its something that i never experienced before but i'm sure i will one day.
that woman knew me since birth and altho i hardly saw her in her later years, i can say that i had some great memories in relation to her.
i hadn't expected Sunday morning to be like that but i was so exhausted that afternoon that i slept for about six hours straight. i played a little tribute to my great aunt Marianna Sunday night at a gig i play at. it only lasted about three minutes but i'm sure she heard it.
it highlights that at the end of the day, when all is said and done and all the votes have been tallied, everything we say or do that is negative is just not worth it and that all the things and wealth we accumulate, means absolutely not a damn thing. its what you leave behind with the people you come into contact every day with.
taking care of each other is what its all about.
[Edited 6/11/07 18:31pm]

I'm so sorry 4 ur loss.

Sorry

I had a similar experience- my ex-husbands mom. She was not yet my mother in law- she passed before we got married.
We spent hours standing around her bed the night before she passed- watching her slowly fade away.
It was one of the hardest things I experienced in my life.

RIP auntie

My sympathy for your loss

Milty, I hope you're well. It's a surreal, powerful experience, isn't it?

I had the honor of holding my Oma's hand as she passed February 1st of last year and I won't even attempt to put the moment into words on here. I know you understand.

I have never experienced such a thing. I do not ever want to. When my mom passed away, I got to the hospital literally moments after. And when my nephew passed four years ago, I was at the hospital but had stepped out the room for something and when I came back, he was gone.

I am so sorry for your loss, Milty.

it is an experience like no other

I deeply feel for your loss and your experience.

When I received the call that my mother may not make through the night, I called my brother to go. I was tired of the "process" of death but he wasn't able to go to the hospital.

I sat in the parking lot of the hospital for about 45 minutes being pissed at God for making me go through this. A friend of mine was on the phone with me and told me that this was for me to experience so get to it.

I walked in the room, talked with the nurse and stayed with my mom until she died. I know the shallow breathing. UGH... Before she stopped breathing, I knew she was "gone" but her body was still going through the motions. That was the time I called my brother and told him to get to the hospital immediately. She "died" about 20 minutes after he arrived.

I will NEVER do that again for anyone including my child.

I don't care for the process at all.


I really do understand what you're going through.

God bless you and your family

Rhondab said:

Lothan said:

My condolences.

Milty

I held my godfather's hand as he took his last breaths in this life. It was an experience I wouldn't trade for the world. As wrenching as it is to let go of someone you love so much (I loved him more than I loved my real father), being able to share his last moments with him was an honor I'll never forget. I was able to look him in his eyes, tell him how much I loved him, and tell him it was okay to let go and stop living in pain. I was eighteen, pregnant with my first child, and terrified, but I still knew that it was time to let him go, that it was a terrible struggle to live with the sickness he had, and that he was ready to be done with it.

I've felt his presence with me ever since, and I talk to him nearly every day.

Sorry Milty.

FunkMistress said:

This happened to me too with my Dad. I was like 4 months along with my son. I'm GLAD I was there for it....and same with my Grandfather.

I think it's special to be pregnant at the time.

I think it is an amazing thing to be there when someone makes the transition from this life to the next. As sad as the experience is, be thankful you could be there with her and that she didn't have to pass alone.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

yes that's the probably the one thing you can take from this is that she didnt pass away alone or in discomfort.