DaniDaniBoBani said:

it FLEETS like an MF! i can't walk out my door without seeing love fleeting all over the damn place like the damn 4th of july

Anxiety said:

Behave, you!!!

Anxiety said:

!!!!

Mdiver I know.....I'm playin with Anx.

Anyways....in marriage its better to go in as a partnership than blindly in love.

mdiver said:

it's true! i think the feeling goes from an "immediate" kind of gratification to a more complex, nuanced kind of satisfaction. i think part of it is accepting that the feelings you have in the first year or two aren't going to be the same as when you're together for 20 years. of course, i understand all this stuff but i've yet to know it from experience, aside from noticing other people.

reneGade20 said:

I DIDN'T START IT! MDIVER IS TOFUTEASING ME!!!!

Anxiety said:

It all started when you said "firm" .....you little prick tease

mdiver said:

at least it didn't start when i said "slimey".

Anxiety said:

Ewwwww thanks for the TMI.

Talking of slimey

Actually my PA who is as gay as it is possible to be said to me last week after his HOT date ..... "you do know that all a gay guy has to do to fake an orgasm is spit on ya back dont you?" ..... Quality
[Edited 6/11/07 6:46am]

DaniDaniBoBani said:

Blindly in love is fine as long as its hand in hand with the knowledge that blindly wears off in time....I see kids in the military who meet during training and fall madly in love....get married...then get divorced before their 21st birthday...there's a girl in my unit who's 24 and twice divorced....point is that they don't see past the WOOOO of the sex or the flutter of the loving heart to acknowledge that married is some hard shit to be and do....

reneGade20 said:

Amen bro

mdiver said:

you know, i have never thought to do that.

Anxiety said:

He cracks me up so much. I am pretty sure i could tell though





OH FUCK i just gave Anx too much ammo.....

mdiver said:

i'd probably keep a straw and some spitwads hidden under the bed, and just tell them afterwards that's what a diet rich in tofu will do to a man.

DaniDaniBoBani said:

I have to say I do not agree ... at all !

That's my life experience though

Anxiety said:

Mach said:

Well thats awesome.

I think for the majority of people though, that is not their experience.

But IMO if its worked on love can be regained and strenghtened. But it takes work. That makes it like a partnership.

DaniDaniBoBani said:

you feel that for the majority of folks love is fleeting ?

Mach said:

I think that the majority of married people who have been married 20 yrs plus are unhappy and that the majority of people who HAVE been married are now divorced.

I call that fleeting.

Anxiety said:

DaniDaniBoBani said:

Hmmm


Okee Dokee

DaniDaniBoBani said:

I don't know what your definition of happy is....if its "white picket fence, sunshine and butterflies all the time", then I'm inclined to agree....but if its the realistic understanding of good bad and ugly wrapped up in being with a person that you don't have to say a word to to understand what they mean to you and your life...then I must, in good conscience, disagree....it took me a long time to get to this point....but true happiness in a marriage starts with the individual being happy with themselves first...loving who and what they are....the rest, as they say, is cake.....

IMHO....I could be way off in left field....

...but I like left field..... lotsa room ta roam.....

Mach said:

Why is that funny?

reneGade20 said:

Well I agree with all that.....but what does that have to do with what I said?

reneGade20 said:

DaniDaniBoBani said:

I just found it funny

perhaps because once again I do not agree with you, though I understand we live in different area's and are different ages so

do you feel then if you remain married for 20 yrs you will be unhappy or divorce then yourself ?

reneGade20 said:

sounds like we have been to the same marital classes
marriage military style is a heavy heavy dose of reality, and if you don't have it together as an individual you really won't make it as a couple, not for long anyway.
that said, inspite of the statistics I believe in marriage, I believe that its worth it once you get it right and once it is realized that it is a full time commitment.

DaniDaniBoBani said:

Long winded way of saying I don't agree with your statistical analysis of long term marriage.....

butterfli25 said:

You know it!!

Mach said:

No. I don't think I'll end in divorce or unhappy.

I think the recent events in my life only prove that I am MUCH happier with my husband than without.

Even in the moments where were arguing and can't stand each other, I'm happier than I was without him.

Maybe it is due to the location difference....but most of the folks that I DO know who are older and happy with their marriages, they are on their second or third marriages.

Which tells me that they were young and niave and in 'love' in their first marriages. Which tells me that most 'love' is fleeting.

I know thats not the case with you.....but I think it is with a lot of marriages.

Mach said:

i think that lots of people expect the honeymoon phase to last forever, rather than accepting the changing nature of a relationship and preparing to make the future stages just as fun but in different ways. i think true love in and of itself is extraordinarily strong, but not unshapable or indestructible.