One sister has a boyfriend, lives in Maine.
The other sisters live near their mom. One has a boyfriend and two kids. She and her mom don't get on.
The other sister is gay

filmnoirdame said:

Okay. Well then maybe thats not so bad.

The fact that ALL of my SIL's are single moms had a big strain on my marriage.

Because ALL of them wanted my husband to be THEIR husband also. AKA Maintenance Man.

And I wasn't havin' it. He needs to be home doin' MY shit, not theirs, yanno?

Take your fuckin cars to Wal Mart to get the oil changed. Cuz MY MAN is gonna be home for dinner bitches! Get it?

So they live pretty far away then? Were all in the same town.

You'll prob be okay.

The mom and two of the sisters are in Atlanta.
Me and my fiancee are in Oregon

filmnoirdame said:

I wouldn't worry about it then. I mean when are ya gonna see them? Three times a year?

Good Luck to you though, and Congrats!

Dani, thank you! Feeling ever so much better!

filmnoirdame said:

Me ?

yes

Betty Jo is and incredible woman

witty and very kind ... very compassionate

intelligent and an incredible cook a loving mother, devoted wife with bright sparkling blue eyes and always a smile on her face ... never a harsh or negitive word and always offering a helping hand

anyone could have a good relationship with a person like Betty

it's never been hard and she lives just down the road which makes it even nicer

My FMIL is NOTHING like that

It's comforting to know that this is a universal occurence... My MIL has a way of really getting under my skin by prying into my husband and I's relationship. On more than one occasion she has called me asking about our financial situation and if everything was OK , she has even opened our mail!!!... the first couple of times I opened up but as soon as I hung up I would feel almost violated (without sounding dramatic) and I realised I had been manipulated into saying things that are just none of her goddam business!!!

I am extremely fortunate that my husband sees through her and always sticks up for me. In fact he has even warned her that if she continues in this manner she will not only lose a daughter-in-law but also a son! This is the last thing I want but I have since learnt to put her in her place with one word answers and in so many words I have advised our relationship and anything to do with it is none of her business....

So to sum up the key is having a spouse who sees the importance of putting each other first and everyone else second.... he always reminds me that we have now started our own family and we are each other's priority. Whatever hardships we endure... we endure together.

Thanks!

I think what's more important is your partner's attitude to their parents, and how you fit in.

You may also need to compromise on occassion in order to keep your partner happy. Parents in law need not come between a couple, provided the relationship is strong and provided you never ask your partner to make a choice between you and their family.

It's not black & white, and I know some in laws that could fuck up a relationship, but I think they're hardly worth considering.

I see people at work every day that I don't like, but I get along with them because I need to.

I like my girlfriend's dad, but I hardly see him. And we hardly see my parents either.

Even if you see them a lot, it's still not as often as you see your spouse, and that't the person you need to get along with.

boyfriend's a former raver, mom's a former hippie - don't see a big problem on my horizon.

The only problem is that his mother wants to make sure she is a part both our lives.

Been married 23 years, when she was alive..I could not stand my mother-in-law. She was mean and bossy and how to know everything. The good part was my husband agreed with me, and never gave into his Mom. She is gone now, but I am still here.

filmnoirdame said:

You guys should still be able to be polite.

I have to say that if you're doing your part to get along, it's on your husband to defend you to his mother and make sure she does her part, too.

To be honest, when FMIL comes around, I usually leave before she gets there or make sure I am busy with a project so my time around her is minimal.

filmnoirdame said:

Sounds familiar

Why does this sound familiar?