I am normally a fairly upbeat kind of person, and my doc recently referred me for CBT to combat my high blood pressure through stress management.

This therapist woman is making see how shit I am, and I walk out of her office feeling pretty glum, my confidence is being zapped and I even felt like crying a couple of times. She is stripping me of my façade leaving me perilously exposed to negative thoughts.

Anybody got any good experiences with cognitive behavioural therapy cus I am thinking of quitting the sessions?

Damn PREDOM sorry to hear about that.

When I had CBT, my therapist was so crap she made me feel WORSE

REDFEATHERS said:

Thats what I am saying, i am not even stressed less

Now I am depressed AND stressed

PREDOMINANT said:

If she is making you come to terms with the feelings that are making you stressed maybe you should tell her the effect it is having on you because these feelings are maybe what she is looking for.

Never be afraid to tell therapists about what you feel and be honest about it. You never know you maybe turning a corner!
[Edited 6/7/07 2:24am]

Steve...

First of all ---> I'm so sorry to hear this; things must have been tough, recently. Please don't forget we're all here to listen when you want to rant/shout/cry/laugh/vent/whatever. I just hope you're feeling okay. Difficult as things may be right now, I am certain that things will get better. So hang in and please take care of yourself.

I don't have any sound advice to offer, sorry, but my housemate is going through exactly the same thing at the moment - and seeing a CBT therapist - so if you need any further info, please don't hesitate to contact me.

The only thing I will say is that, of course, if you feel the therapist isn't helping you, or making matters worse, then maybe you can be referred to someone else. I think it's essential you feel you can trust them. And - as I've discovered via my housemate - just because a therapist subscribes to a certain way of thinking/treatment, that doesn't necessarily make them right. It may be right for them, perhaps, but not for you maybe. So *maybe* you could find another therapist with a different approach.

Again, I just hope you're feeling okay Steve and please don't be hard on yourself. Take care and all the best.

PREDOMINANT said:

Yeah mine was a bit unprofessional in that she told me there is no heaven or God..
and we ended up arguing
She shouldnt have put her own beliefs forward and said that to her patient who was strugging in life at the time.

onenitealone said:

Thanks mate I am certainly not just about to top myself, but I don't think that thinging so negatively about onesself can be productive. Maybe she is going somewhere with this line of action. I dunno. I just get pissed of because I don't feel any calmer with it.

PREDOMINANT said:

What does CBT mean?
[Edited 6/7/07 2:35am]

scififilmnerd said:

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

REDFEATHERS said:

Thanks. I know what that is. I think...

scififilmnerd said:

hey sexy

PREDOMINANT said:

You're welcome - I'm just sorry to hear you feel like this at the moment.


If this is of any use, I went to see a therapist a few years back - and I *think* she used the CBT approach, I'm not sure - and, at the time, I felt like it was a complete waste of time. I'd go in there, talk about stuff that I already knew inside out, back-to-front and sideways and always leave thinking "What am I actually gaining from this?? I know all this already". I guess I was looking for the therapist to give me the answers.

After three sessions I told her this and she said that *I* had to come to my own conclusions but that she would help me along the way. I quit shortly afterwards - mainly because I didn't feel like I was gaining anything from it - but as it turns out, it was a very productive experience. Just the cathartic nature of getting it all out of my system was enough, in some ways. And it did force me to examine certain patterns of behaviour. I wouldn't have been able to say that at the time, but - in retrospect - I see that it helped a lot.

Again, I don't know if that helps in any way; I think the key issue is that we all learn and develop at our own speed. You just need to have faith in yourself and to trust that things will work out okay. And I know they will.

Take care, mate.

REDFEATHERS said:

No flirting on my depressed thread unless it is with me.

onenitealone said:

You wise wise man. I will give her a few more weeks to see if we get anywhere. It felt quite good at the beginning, like you say, just to speak my thoughts out loud. But now it's like she wants me to fit a certain profile and keeps making me do the same excersise al the time - which I can't seem to fathom out.

PREDOMINANT said:

I wasnt flirting.. just saying hello

REDFEATHERS said:

oh, ok, as you were then.

You might have to feel worse before you feel better.

ConsciousContact said:

This is what I am hoping. But I think I might be expecting too much for some sudden epiphany.

PREDOMINANT said:

Not wise at all - believe me.

Well, maybe see how things go perhaps - but if you don't feel comfortable, you will have other options. Like any relationship - professional or otherwise - you don't have to stick with it for the sake of it. And you have every right to question the methods she uses; maybe it is something you should ask her about?

All the best!

shop for a therapist like you shop for shoes. onenite is offering some good advice.


But sometimes you do have to go through the mud and the dirt to get all clean and shiny.

PREDOMINANT said:

I quit my therapist already. I always left feeling worse than when I came in. I'm actually doing better on my own.

This may be a silly question, but have you told your therapist about this? Have you let her know you're concerned you feel worse after each visit and not better? Perhaps she can address this and either rethink her strategy or calm you in that maybe you are supposed to feel this way for a while or something?

CarrieMpls said:

A few others have suggested this too, I plan to tell her next time. I am sure it is part of the plan. As Rhondab said gotta get dirty to come out shiny.

I just think I would rather be stressed and confident and get a heart attack than live a long and depressing life.

Lothan said:

I worry about this, I have managed on my own before and always come full circle. I want the results this time to be long-lasting, permanent even.

PREDOMINANT said:

Yeah, I understand because I have always managed on my own then I get really overwhelmed. Then I feel I am doing okay and when I crash, I do a freefall. I know I am probably going to have to go back but for now, I know what my problems are and I am working hard on fixing me.

The thing about therapy is it forces you to take a good hard look at yourself and talk about things you don't want to deal with. Dealing with those things hurt too much.

I wish you all the luck in the world, Steve.

She may be not a good fit for you, hon. Is there someone else there you can speak with?

Whatever her intention, if you're leaving feeling bad, it's not a good fit for you. I don't believe, personally, that therapy should do that. . .even if it brings up crap, you should be leaving feeling hopeful.

Many people have to try several therapists before they find one they like.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

You know, I kind of have to agree here... I know I always felt a little lift when I left therapy, even if I was dreading walking in the door.
Of course, my therapist didn't think I needed it, so maybe I'm not a good example. I don't know she was very good.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Exactly. I think it may be time to look for another person to talk with.

Well first of all CBT is not a "touchy feely" process. It is cognitively based or brain based and it facilitates your thinking a different way. It is also a Brief therapy, it is used to sort every thing out and then begin to change the patterns. The homework she gives and continues to give is to help begin the process of changing the patterns. You could be having difficulty because you are not at the point of change.

You need to decide if you are willing to follow through with this process. If you are not maybe you need to find some one more Rogerian, which is more client centered and less directive.

Since the referral is from a MD, they specifically wanted you to have a more intense briefer therapy. Perhaps you need to speak with the therapist and modify the the goals of the treatment if you feel like you are not getting what you need.

I'd say stick it out though for about 4 more sessions and then see how you feel.