I recently vacated a sista here who had the audacity, well ok, I will rescind that statement because I guess she does have a plan, but this sista brought up the word marriage in just our fourth month of dating!!

Who in their right minds even conjures up THOUGHTS of marriage after just four months?? I chalked it all up to that womanly self induced "Where am I now"/State of my Union".....shit! LOL!

Is that womanly itch so powerful for women nearing thirty years of age, that don't have children or are not married to be so overwhelmed by the pressure?? Why is that?

And don't you know "most" men will RUN if you apply it that fucking soon?!!!

umm..no comment..lol

As a woman, if what you want is to get married and have kids, the biological clock is a very real thing. If you're someone who never wants to get married, best she know that up front so she can move along to someone who that may be possible with. You can play around in your early 20's but there comes a point where you don't want to "waste" time with someone who doesn't have the same goals. I don't think 4 months is an unreasonable amount of time to start those conversations.
And realisticly, now both of you are better off as you're both in a position to find someone who more clearly matches your idea of the future.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

Ya, no kidding. She's just talking about what she wants. How can you be upset at her for that?

Well, you obiously weren't on the same page, so no big lost.

Why do people call it "dating" if they're not interested in long term and basically just want a regular lay.

If you were more honest about your expectations in the beginning, you wouldn't have this problem. But then again, if you were more honest, women wouldn't want to bother with you in the first place.

There are escort services out there y'know?







Misspelling in the morning edit
[Edited 5/25/07 8:10am]

gemini13 said:

My husband set his expectations after a bloody three weeks. Declared his love and told me it was okay if I didn't say it back yet, cos one day I would.

CortestheKiller said:

Have you gotten used to saying husband instead of man-friend yet or does it feel awkward?

Monistat 7.....oh wait, I didn't read the rest....


M

DexMSR said:

Well U probably just threw away the right woman, which is damn near impossible 2 find these days. Unless, of course, U were just "in it" 4 other reasons... Still, if it was good, why break it off just because she wants U and only U 4 life?

CarrieMpls said:

i know a woman who asks every guy she dates that question. if they say they never want to get married and have kids she dumps them.

XxAxX said:

Now that I think about it, I've had that casually come up in conversation on the first few dates. And usually HE was the one to bring it up, either to say, I don't think I'll ever get married again, I don't want children, or the opposite as well. I think it's important to be on the same page.

When I read the thread title and the name of the orger ( Dex) I automatically thought about some vagina fungus or some other STD, seriously...

That womanly itch ! Very confusing thread title...

And I was just about to post some medical
advice.

2 weeks was all it took for him to bring it upH he was leaving in 4 months and wanted to know what I thought about that. He didn't want to lose me and he hasn't yet. We got married in 3 months and are still together 14 years later.

I didn't have time to waste with a playa either. 4 months is way too long to date someone who knows the relationship ain't going where you want it. I think it was nice of her to wait that long, because we all know you dexy she couldn't let all that fine go that soon.



WHAP!

CarrieMpls said:

it's not like she is asking him 'do YOU want to get married to ME', but is asking more about his long term goals and objectives.

she knows what she wants and won't waste time on men who are only interested in f&cking.

my husband gave me the key to his house and bank accounts after the first two dates...





guess you have not been lucky enough to find her yet DEX

dont worry you will

IrresistibleB1tch said:

There was more to it than just this. A conversation did take place actually, but the reasons for me leaving are not embedded in THIS thread.

WHAP!!!

KoolEaze said:

KoolEaze said:

me too..

eraclito said:

Wait!

What does that say about "Me"???

Hmmmmm???

DexMSR said:

it says you are fucking funny .. lol

eraclito said:

DexMSR said:

You iz a freak ! Plenty of sex related topics.

KoolEaze said:

amen to that, thats why i love me some dex..

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

HAHA that is what I thought it was about when I read the title....I was like wtf why is Dex having that kind of problem....

On one hand people should make it clear where they stand so if the goals aren't the same, they can bounce...

On the other hand I'm IN my 30's, have no kids & would NEVER bring up (or even think of) marriage after only 4 months

I mean, within conversation you could ask the person if they see it in their future or if they ever want to get married IN GENERAL, but in a relationship I'd have to be with someone for at least a year or two before I could even think about spending my LIFE with them seriously & concretely, without being clouded by whatever state of bliss that comes & goes. There's just too much to learn about a person, it takes me time to do that...

I don't think it's unreasonable to bring it up after 4 months. LOTS of people are very clear on their feelings for one another in that amount of time. I think actually getting married within 4 months is probably dumb, but bringing it up? I don't see the problem.

Dex, I don't know you well, and I do respect and appreciate what little I do know (click my profile ), so I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but. . .if you'd ditch a person that you otherwise really like because she mentioned marriage at the "wrong time", or walk away from a person without even talking to her about it because she didn't introduce you to her friends at a time when you thought it was appropriate. . .I mean, don't you think people deserve a chance? Does the fact that somebody does or does not do something exactly as you would, or as you would want them to, mean that you have to turn and run away? Might something good (eg. growth) happen from trying to stop and understand? Might you be throwing people away who might actually bring a lot of good into your life?

I don't know. They're just questions.

I agree with the people that say that breaking up with her might've been a bit hasty.
Okay,
so maybe you're not yet ready to marry this woman.
But you should still take into account that,
a piece of ass is still a piece of ass.

DexMSR said:

No wonder I'm still single.