Okay, here is the situation.
My hubby has 3 children from his previous marriage., ages 16, 15, and 12. Now when they divorced (several yrs ago), in the papers it is stated that during the summer months, he can have the children for up to 8 weeks during the summer. Up until now, he hasn't been able to for various reasons, either he couldn't afford a sitter, taking off work ( not an option), in order to keep paying her the child support, just various things, now along with this agreement, if he keeps the children for the 8 weeks, he is relieved of financial responsibilities. So wayyy back during the Christmas holidays, we went ahead and forewarn the ex that we were going to keep the children during the summer, given nothing unforseen came up. And it didn't, well not on our end, but this person has tried everything, and I mean everything under the sun as an excuse for us to not have the children, one of them wants a summer job, the other one might want this or that,,just on and on. Then last Friday on the night that they are set to come for the summer, she calls us and says that "the children don't want to come for the summer, they just didn't want to tell you that and hurt your feelings", so the discussion goes on and D says to her, well if that's their decision, then that's fine, but if I find out different, then we'll see a lawyer, so she says okay, no problem. Well the kids get out here and we find out that she told them that she called us and told us that they didn't want to stay, and we have found out that they do, well 2 of the 3 do..and I know what a freaking headache this is gonna be ...and if you want to know the truth, it's all cause I know she don't want to five up that Child Support $$, D pays nearly 600.00 a month.
What do y'all think??
[Edited 5/29/07 11:11am]

Please call a lawyer. This is their childhood and they deserve to see their dad. Nothing their mother can do should stop you and him. These are his CHILDREN!

My childhood was spent being used as a chesspiece for my parents' immature banter and years were lost on bonding with my mother. Please do something now.

Oh, and it's "dilemma".

it's pretty cool that kids in their teens still wanted to come out. try to make them feel as welcome and important to you as possible and that to you their worth isn't about the money. it's important to be able to spend this time together for them and for your hubby.

as for her, she was forewarned that she wouldn't have that income to depend on for those 8 weeks. i guess as one child isn't going to be with you she should still receive some moneies. it's a shame when the best interests of the kids get lost on some.

there will be enough stresses having two extra people around that you don't need any other bullshit. hope things go better and remember to keep your chin up.

INSATIABLE said:

10000% agree. She is playing headtrips at the kids expense. She shouldn't be able to get away with this.

The first thing that struck me when I read this was that your husband was unable (mainly financial reasons) to have his children visit previous summers - now that the youngest is 12, he can now have them visit without having to pay for a sitter. I am sorry if I am way off on this, but to me it just seems that its suddenly financially to his benefit to have them visit. Children are smart, they may actually see that dear dad's sudden interest in them is just a reason for him not to have to pay child support. $600.00/month for three kids - that really isn't that much.

The kids are old enough that your husband and his ex don't have to play mind games like you have described. If he wants them to come, he should notify her of his intentions and then make plans directly with the kids.

If money is such a concern, I am sure that you do not want it going to lawyers.

MuaPetahl said:

a child is not allowed to stay home alone until the age of 12 here in TN, the other 2 being older doesn't necessarily mean mature enough to be left at home alone all day ( ie.forgetting to turn the oven off, things of that nature) you certainly don't want to come home and find your house burned down because someone forgot, and the reason they can be here, during the summer now, isn't to our financial benefit, it's because someone ( namely me) is here to be with them and provide some sort of supervision, and it's not dear dad's sudden[/b interest, we have them every other weekend, sometimes longer than what they are suppose to be here, ( they normally come on Fri, return to mom on Sunday), they come often during the school weeks, so it's not like this is the first time we have kept them extra, but thanks for your noted concern. Also it's always been that way ( if he had them he would be "relieved" of child support, so if $$ was the issue, wouldn't it have made more sense to get them the previous summers and not have to pay?) I'm sure he could have found child care for roughly the same amount? But instead, being a single father he did what he could. And with the horror stories and dead beat dads out there, at least he does what he is suppose to do, he's never missed a payment in the last 8 yrs, I think that's how long it's been, on top of helping out with other things for the kids.
[b][Edited 5/29/07 13:11pm]

According to Jade Goody..it's "dimella"

liberation said:

how old is she?!

emm said:

yeah, I thought it was cool too., they know the $$ is irrelevant ( there is a big long nasty history between the 2~hubby & x), and for the one who doesn't stay, we'll still send the x the support for that particular child, it really wouldn't be an issue had the kids previously said that they didn't want to come, but they are always, and I mean always asking for extra time out here, wanting to stay when it's time for mom to come and get them, etc..etc..so to us it seemed kinda "all the sudden" that the kids didn't want to be here, ya know? thanks for your support.!

hisfan4ever said:

This was a very patient response. I probably would have went off

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

:hug:thanks..one develops that having 6 children..lol