I fucking love Hemingway. His books make me cry like a little sissy schoolgirl. Farewell To Arms hit me hard, and For Whom the Bell Tolls was even more intense. Certainly there are other authors (not many though) whose works I enjoy more...but Ernest (apparently we're on a first name basis) has a way of tearing me up inside.



My friend Mark told me two nights ago that he once had a fart that made the sound of the word "brown." I thought that was some crazy shit.


Do you think Cheney sneers at himself in the mirror while jacking off? Or is it too hard for him to see out of the Reagan mask?


My new apartment is just a few blocks away from the best goddamn ice cream I've ever had. Not to mention a bunch of crazy mansions and shit on Summit Ave. My old apartment was blocks away from the Rice St. ghetto in St. Paul. I don't think ghetto people have the time to appreciate ice cream. Or at least not the time to tell anyone that they, in fact, do.

i had the worst diarrhea yesterday. i had to jump out of the car and shit in a cornfield. i made sure to take my pants off first, so as not to get anything on them.

Here r some random thoughts:



George was hotter than Paul---Ill never understand the whole "Paul was the cute one" thing.

I won't eat Chinese food in the cafeteria. I just don't trust it.

Same goes 4 the meat. I only eat cheese ravioli. Meat ravioli makes me

Memoirs of a geisha by Arthur Golden was the last long book I read by choice. It was the BEST piece of literature I have EVER read.



EVER!

Erm..I love prince.



Umm...I dunno. I think that's about it.

Oh, yeah, I hate the edit message..it's pointless.
[This message was edited Wed Sep 18 18:04:48 PDT 2002 by Nep2nes]

i need to get a fuse for my car. the right turn signal hasn't been working for 3 months now.

What is the nutritional value of a human, if I were to eat one?

Nep2nes said:

what sorry excuse for a pimp has you working for him?

***I just can't understand why everybody loves Krispy Kreme donuts.I mean,they're GOOD but not great.I just don't see why they're so popular.Are they really THAT much different than any other donut place?

***I bought an issue of Hustler magazine the other day and the damn thing now costs like 9 dollars!! I remember back in the day it only cost around $5.Why the price increase? Is Larry Flynt really that hard up for cash??

I wonder what a soysage tastes like...
[This message was edited Wed Sep 18 18:21:45 PDT 2002 by Aerogram]

If the Earth was really flat, would I still want to live on the edge?

Why is it that water that's inland and closer to mineral sources is "fresh water", while the seas and oceans are salty?

i work in Manhattan

every day i have the same thought

i look up at the skyline and think

fuck. . .

what the fuck

Random thoughts: #1 Hustler is an awful magazine that makes a living by degrading women, when men fantasize about these women, they imagine themselves as being the perfect lovers and for just a minute, fantasy becomes reality.

No offense to you DavidEye

#2 Cookies are really REALLY good

#3 I can't wait for the box set to come out!

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

does Nep2unes really believe in her own delusions?

Er um. Here are my random thoughts:
#1 Hope my son feels better soon, he's coughing a lot with a cold Poor baby. He is

#2 Where is the DOW cd I ordered? They said "shipped 9/6/02" still no CD. And oh yeah, can't wait for the box set.

#3 I had a whole bunch of random thoughts I was going to post but now that i'm sitting here trying to type them down I can't remember any of them.

#4 Oh yeah. How come I don't get very many org notes? Feels like high school - wallflower then and wallflower on the org.

#5 Speaking of the ORG I just really like POOK.

#6 And where's that Brian Fellows character?

#7 Anybody ever read Andy Warhol's "From A to B and back again?" That's what my conversations with ppl on the internet feel like sometimes.

#8 VP coming in from out of town. Future uncertain at job despite my seniority. When VP comes into town, and secret closed door meetings are going on between managers, it can't be good.

#9 Wish I could get satellite radio in my car. That would be awesome.

#10 Wish I could afford cable right now too. Wish I could afford a LOT of things right now. But I remind myself that I am truly thankful for all that I do have.

#11 Should I go on and on? No I had better quit while I am ahead.

alrighty . well. that's it for me !
[This message was edited Wed Sep 18 19:51:51 PDT 2002 by Soulsista]

shausler said:

awww

ok so I got a little carried away on here.

why does using the right hand make such a difference

Chuck Jones was a genius. His cartoons for warner brothers were the best animations to come out of that studio. Some of his post WB stuff was good also. (except for his tom & jerry cartoons, I didn't like those) "feed the kitty" is one of his best ones from the WB period. "the dot and the line" is also brilliant. And let's not forget of course, "the grinch", classic stuff. that's it, just felt like giving chuck jones some props.


oh yeah, and...BlackMF can eat shit and die.

"God, I LOVE that man!"...

Girls are confusing.

I called in sick and loafed around today, so I had lots of random thoughts. . .


*Vegan rice krispy treats are da bomb.

*If I had the money, I would buy myself a really great bathtub. I will never have the money, and that's ok. But if I DID. . .clawfoot with one of those Kohler waterfall fixtures and nice smelly bubbly stuff and one of those badass glow in the dark freaky rubber duckies.

*John Mayer knows how to write songs, and he's one of those people who is a hottie not because of his looks but because of his attitude, which is the best kind of hottie.

*I had this dream last night where Prince was playing this little round glass flute thing, and it was astoundingly beautiful, and then my stupid alarm clock woke me up, and I'm really wondering if I want my life to be structured so that I need an alarm clock to interrupt my best dreams.

*Why is all porn so lame? I think I could really dig porn if it weren't so freakin' cheezy and awful.

*I'm cooler than Prince, why isn't there a whole big site full of people who get together to talk about me? Injustice abounds in this world.

Doves,
Mel!ssa

Moonbeam said:

no we aren't. i'm not anyway. come over here, cutie. i'll show you exactly what i mean.

Sage said:

Explain this:

"I am just lying here, thinking of all my indiscretions, all of my faults, hurts, and guilty acts. I sit here and I am flooded with their memory. Thoughts of betrayal, lost love, and selfishness. I feel so heavy, so tied up, wrapped tight in my fears and pain that I can barely breathe. This depression makes me sick to my stomach. I can barely hold down water. And I suppose that my story is just another one of a confused, sad, lost Catholic with burned bridges and steep slopes falled down too many times. But there is a point where a girl has to say that she deserves to be loved, that she is worthy of true, beautiful friendship, and that God does accept her as she is. She thinks that if she says it enough times, it might actually manifest itself in some effortless way of reconstructing a broken down system of self esteem and self worth. But still lying there on this ship in the place of worth and esteem are guilt and hatred. A guilt that is so heavy and so sordid that a thousand tides couldn't wash it off; a hatred that is so rooted in irrational feelings and thoughts and images that it can barely be survived.

But what does that self-absorbed "pity the martyr of her cause" prelude have to do with Ian Renner? I wonder where you went, to what depths of the world I have pushed you away that my soul-mated, eternal friend could not return a phone call, an email, a hand outstretched begging for forgivenmess. There was so much that you gave to me: unconditional love, forgiving friendship, an ear bent...and what did I give to you? Nothing. I gave you judgmental perceptions, self-centered thoughts, and fear...miles and miles of fear.

I just want to apologize to you, Ian. I apologize for abusing your friendship, not telling you how deeply I return your love, and for never being there for you the way that you were for me. I want you to know that I do love you, probably more than you are willing to believe and even more than I am capable of expressing.

I am not trying to be profound or share feelings or thoughts that are original to me. I am simply trying to say that I love you and that I am sorry. I am trying to say that I miss you and that you a beautiful, wonderful, compassionate, whole human being who has more love than He knows what to do with.

Perhaps you will call or write or email. Perhaps you will say that you love and miss me, too. Or maybe you will say that you have grown past a depressed, lost college girl and that I should, too. And if you don't call, I will know that you are a better person than I am because if the situation were reversed you would not have let me wander so far in time and place without me knowing how you feel.

I will be waiting.

Love, from the depths of my uncharted soul to the shores of your passionate, beautiful heart,

T.N.A.G.R."


[This message was edited Wed Sep 18 21:31:12 PDT 2002 by Moonbeam]

Moonbeam said:

you might want to edit out her name. or some of it. if i was such a melodramatic drama queen, i wouldn't want my real name out there like that.

but, Ian, for what it's worth, I'm sorry that you're feeling low about this. i showed it to Aaron and he sends his heartfelt love. we love you. we hate to see you so low. you have so much love in your life. i hope you know it.
[This message was edited Wed Sep 18 21:01:43 PDT 2002 by Sage]

Here are some of mine:

- I look at the photos of my children at my desk and still cannot believe how beautiful they are.

- Work bores me so much my head hurts. Seriously, every day here my head just pounds.

- I'm secretly nervous about my football teams game this weekend (Collingwood) yet I'm a grown man. WTF?

- I think Melbourne is the only city in which I will ever live. I cant imagine living anywhere else. It's a great city.

- Why cant I drink beer at work?

bkw said:

Too precious...

Sage said:

You can say that again...

Moonbeam sweets... I'm with Sage, I would edit out the name, (maybe a little too late now) but yea.. I don't think she would appreciate that letter been up in a forum for everyone to see it... it was personal.

But, it's up to you of course.

I agree. You should focus on the people who do love and support you Ian and not the ones who have repeatedly hurt you or pushed you away. There are so many people who think that you're the absolute shit. Even many of my good friends have considered you a friend and you're 4 years younger. That says a lot cuz you know how hot shit seniors in high school and college kids act. You're brilliant, beautiful, funny, caring, talented, spiritual, emotional, energetic, outgoing, vibrant, tolerant, unique, stylish, deep, wild, amazing, good-hearted, and most of all Ian. There's no one like you and there never will be. It might take awhile for you to find "the one" but I promise you that someone is out there. You're just so one of a kind that God designed it so that it wouldn't be an easy match to make. But the pay off will be unreal once you do meet her. Maybe you already have and don't know it yet. Maybe it won't be for 10 years. Maybe once you finally see Julie face to face. Who knows? But until then, believe me and everyone else when we say that we love you. Appreciate the people who will always be there for you and take comfort in that. You may be lonely but you're never alone. I love you. Don't let it bring you down.