It's like, you try to be nice or courteous and then they either stab you in the back or rub you the wrong way. It usually means they wanna gain something from you, preferrably materialistic. There's that case or they'll say one thing to appease you and do another or make you believe they'll stand behind you, but they're not behind you at all. That sort of thing can make one mistrustful of people.

You have that a lot in my workplace.

Everyone???

so cut yourself off from almost everyone, then decide on an individual basis whether or not it's worth the risk of getting attached to someone.

It's all part of growing up, dude.

You're a musician too.....I'm sure you run across shady people all the time. Nothing new. Everyone's been burned before. My instincts are better now because of it.

JustErin said:

What, learning to mistrust people?

evenstar3 said:

No man is an island as I have learned. So doing that would be impossible.

NWF said:

is this based on something specific or is it just a realization? alot of people suck, so focus on the few great ones.
[Edited 5/14/07 17:07pm]

NWF said:

i fucking hate that quote. you don't have to be an 'island', exactly, but you can try to only truly care about a few people to avoid being hurt.

NWF said:

No, learning how to read people better.

live4lust said:

Well it did have something to do with what happened to me recently. But I'm chalking that one instance up with the other general examples.

JustErin said:

That is what I have learned along the way: Never to take people's word as the gospel truth or accept them at face value. And that's what makes me so mistrustful now.

beret1022 said:

yeah, everyone talks about "team attitude" when they want something from ya, then when you need something from them, you get a lecture on the importance of self-sufficience.

NWF said:

i totally understand where you're coming from. trust no one

NWF said:

i get what you are saying, but isn't that the game of life? you have to pick and choose who you trust, and at times, you can't even trust your own family members because they will stab you even faster than a stranger on a street will. But I feel that if you stand your ground, and continue to do nice things, that it does all come back to you in some way, shape, or form.

NWF said:

Bear in mind though that when people tell you things, promise things or generally say they'll be there for you they may well mean it at the time. Humans are weak and frail and fail each other all the time, possibly you then feel that you can't trust or rely on them.

You've probably done the same thing to someone else before. Be wary but ultimately you have to take a leap of faith on people - no risk no happiness.

Just MHO.

sj1600 said:

Maybe when I was younger I might've made those mistakes. But now I'm a little older and a man that stays true to his word. If I say I'm gonna do something, then I will do it.

I'll give you an example: I play in a band and I always like to net work and advertise my band to other artists and musicians. They may say they're interested in seeing me when we talk. But then I never actually see them come to my shows. Oh, it's cool that I can support their music or art, but they're too cool to check out what I'm doing. And I don't ever say "it's the greatest thing you'll ever hear". That would be silly., I'm just letting them know that "I'm an artist too and I have something to express just like you". I mean, I've gotten a couple of folks attention and support, but I could use a whole lot more. But it makes me question whether they're really interested in seeing me or if they're just being nice.

missfee said:

I guess that's true. Karma really does exist. But when you're seeing more negative than positive happen to you, you kinda question yourself.

evenstar3 said:

I'm like this and yet also the complete opposite. I have no friends, really. One Australian guy who lives here, a couple of Thais, and the rest is just family here. Yet I still manage to find enough people to care about that it causes me distress. I'm a recluse with no friends who I see more than once or twice a month most of the time, yet I still manage to spread my care and concern around enough to be hurt by it.

JustErin said:

Yeah. He's been singing that same tune for a while now, time to smell the coffee even if he's not old enough to have acquired the taste...

NWF said:

I'm a musician too and I get a lot of people wanting me to come out to their shows. BUt honestly, 9 times out of 10, I get their CD home and the music sucks.I won't support and artist I don't like. A lot of that "yeah, I'll come check out you sometime" IS people just being nice, because in our society of overbearing niceness, you can't just be honest and say, "Eh, I'd rather not." Not saying YOU suck, but people have to WANT to support you, you can't MAKE them support you (and this applies for life as well as music.)

JustErin said:

All THAT gets you is finding even MORE people to mistrust.

luvsexy4all said:

Um, no it doesn't. Certianly not in my experience.

JustErin said:

It does if you really suck at reading people

I can't read people unless they're in braille.

//
[Edited 5/15/07 17:54pm]

Boy do I know how you feel.

NWF said:

you shouldn't think of it as "woe is me, all these bad things keep happening to me". I know how it feels when at some periods more negative occurs than positive, and you start to question yourself, but you have to believe that there is a reason why the negative happens. You are suppose to learn something about it. Don't let dishonest people take your joy, and your postivity. There's always going to be somebody who doesn't appreciate you, somebody around to hate on you, somebody out to make you look like a fool. But you can't worry about that, that's why i said just continue to stay positive and continue to be nice to people, then more great things rather than bad things will happen to you in the long run. Trust me, i know.
[Edited 5/16/07 5:02am]

missfee said:

Great advice!