You, Britney, it's JT. I've been reading about you in the paper and, you know, I just want to say I understand. I know you can't get over me, girl, and what mere mortal woman can. Once you have swam in the Timberlake, there ain't no going back. Breaking up with me was hard, I know that, and I also know that's it explains why you been acting koo koo for Cocoa Puffs every since. I mean Kevin Federline. Please! My dental records sold more than his last album. And yeah, he knocked you up but making a baby doesn't make you a daddy. You know the dream I always had for us, little Timberlakes running around (tributaries if you will), playing with Timbaland's kids and ripping off their music. We could have lived that dream, Brit. But then something had to go wrong and the dream died, like Prince's last album on the charts.

All I'm saying, Brit, is that there were good times. Remember that day when we picked out your boobs? We had some good times, girl. And then to see you on TV shaving off your hair. I'm just saying this girl has got a bad case of JT Withdrawal and the cure is seven digits. I'm waiting for a page, Brit. Let me know what's up. Call me and I'll have my personal assistant get back to yours and, you know, maybe we could hook up and go buy you a nice wig or something.

Or not. You know, I'll be alright either way because what goes around, come around, and goes all the way back around.

Anyway, everybody make sure to vote for my boy Joey Fatone on "Dancing with the Stars" this week.

We got some cynics in here Britney, but don't let that stop you. I know the world stopped turning when we broke up. Probably explains all that global warming stuff too.
[Edited 4/23/07 12:55pm]

That's some funny shit!

sounds like oran 'juice' jones should be playing in the background during this rant

Too freakin funny

JT's got some hot JUNK

Seems like only yesterday, Brit?

We made denim work, you know.

imago, right?

Anx said:

Yo, Britney, this was us in happier days.




Now, look at you now, girl.

Yikes.

Alright, it is my understanding that I made a boo-boo and that is actually Uncle Fester from the Adam's Family. Here is a recent picture of Brit, showing just how bad the girl is messed up without me.

Alpha Dog will be available on DVD soon.

And don't forget Shrek 3 coming out in May.

I'm a busy man.

Brit, the clock is ticking.

Whatever, baby...

You're "clear", and get a pass from me...

Like Ed Norton, Nick Cage, Brad Pitt, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Adrian Brody, and Travis Barker.

All clear.