I'd say in a way I have due to the hard truths that I've had to learn about life. Also because I've been disappointed and let down so much, it's just changed my perspective about life.

Would you say the same thing about yourself?

NWF said:

Yeah, I would have to say that I'm cynical about some things in my life too right now.

I used to be but travelling has opened my eyes. The problems I used to think were huge are minimal when put into perspective. I think the ups and downs of life are a learning curve.

YES!!! very much so, even with having the perspective of the ups and downs of life being a learning curve, strangely in some ways it's made me even more cynical.


completed thought
[Edited 4/30/07 8:33am]

I'd call myself more practical and realistic, but not quite cynical.

NastyPig said:

NastyPig said:

It's all good, NastyPig.































NastyPig.

Life is what you make it, and if you have alot of negativity around you, or you think in a cynical way then course you will feel you have been dealt a bad hand, but as soon as you start thinking positively, good things will happen..

I believe

REDFEATHERS said:

You're right about that.

psychodelicide said:

And I have been there thinking life is dark.. but nobody can help, only you can pick yourself up, brush yourself down and keep on.. cos good things will happen. As my sig says: It is the same life whether we spend it crying or laughing.

REDFEATHERS said:

healthy cynicism, yes.

unhealthy cynicism, sometimes.

But if you're let down by people or events or whatever, then you are likely to become a bit cynical.


But then again a cynical attitude is not a very good one to possess. In the past I've had to distance myself from some folks who I thought were my friends because of that. I don't even like the fact that I can be that way sometimes. I'd like to be idealistic, optimistic and have a positive outlook. But when you're denied that slice of pie (as I have explained in another thread), you question yourself and your whole outlook.

I do understand where cynical people are coming from. But it's always better to find ways to make yourself more confident and positive-thinking.

i think living in new york made me cynical about life. it taught me never to trust people i don't know, especially if they're being nice to me.

sometimes when i'm with someone and we're walking around and some stranger is either panhandling or trying to get us to do one of those environmental surveys or whatever, i can be really cold in how i brush them off and it's shocking to my friend. that's just something i learned living in NYC. i got scammed too many times - or people TRIED to scam me too many times - and i adopted the attitude of "if you don't know my name, we don't need to chat" when i'm outside.

i think a lot of that is healthy cynicism and smart urban armor. but when you can't appreciate the people and things around you when you walk out the door becuase you're afraid it's all out to screw you over...well, then it gets unhealthy.

"i think we should all just hold hands and listen to a karen carpenter song"

and if not..

"i think we should all end our days in a car pile-up".

Yes. Very. Cynical about this thread, even, and the fact that I have to clarify that I'm cynical.

I think that if you aren't at least a teeny bit cynical about life by the time you're my age...you have to be a complete moron.

No... I love life. I'm pretty optimistic, actually.

I'm probably a moron though! I am a dreamer.. so...
[Edited 4/30/07 12:03pm]

I still am not really enthusiastic, but I've stopped being so cynical after learning that that can really destroy you if you take it too far.

Not really anymore, I'm more of an optimist now.

Realistic, I think, more than cynical. I don't consider cynicism a virtue, I'll put it that way.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

exactly!

I think I voted never to have kids because I am so distraught by the state of this world....I can't imagine bringing a child in to what the future is going to hold for them.... I saw three little babies chasing after bubbles in the park today and I'm not gonna lie, I totally welled up

a little too cynical, probably. oh well.

Sometimes. Sometimes not. We all have our moments. More of an optimistic realist, I'd call it, but it does get misconstrued as cynicism, occasionally.


I'm trying to fight a feeling which I will never forgive one of my so-called friends causing me to feel. Maybe someone can offer some advice on this, who knows?

For those who remember my thread about a year or so ago, about my ex-housemate who screwed me over financially and made me out to be a liar, I have retreated into myself somewhat. My friends have always been my life - along with music, the most precious thing to me. Having spent the last 15 or so years estranged from my family, you cannot imagine how important my friends have become and how much faith and trust I have put in those closest to me. My friends literally *are* my family. I would not be here without them. I owe them EVERYTHING.

However, round about 2 years ago, I made the mistake of helping out someone financially - to my own detriment - but, at the time, he was someone I considered a close friend and a friend in need, etc., etc.. I loaned him money and he promised to pay me back; I didn't give it a second thought. I couldn't afford to do it at all but I completely trusted this person and I wanted to help out. I'll spare you all the details but the end result was that this person eventually did a runner, told anyone willing to listen that I was a liar, that I'd never loaned him a penny and I have never heard from him since. Apart from the humiliation, the anger and the shock of what happened, I was completely ripped apart by what he did. All I tried to do was help someone out, my intentions came from a good place; and that was what I got in return. He completely shat on our friendship and on my good intentions. If anyone had done that to me I would've been upset; but to have it done to me by one of my so-called 'friends'... That is what killed me. It has completely changed me; and not necessarily for the better. I was just never prepared for someone I called a friend - the most important thing in my entire world - to do that.

Once upon a time, I would've given my *all* for those I love - and I still would, to some degree. But after what he did... I felt so stupid, so used, so humiliated - I found it a truly painful experience. I am determined that no-one will treat me like that again. It has caused me to build a wall around my heart, almost, and even the closest people in my life have been affected by that. That is the tragedy of what he did.

I no longer care about the money - sure, it would come in very handy but it's only money. I don't even give a rat's ass about this guy anymore. Fuck him. And I always swore that I would not let one bad apple spoil the rest; I know that he is the exception, not the rule, and that most people in my life would never dream of doing what he did. But that is what I have allowed him to make me feel - I have retreated from the very people I love the most, if only to 'protect' myself. Melodramatic as it may sound, I cannot even imagine what it would do to me if it ever happened again. And that is why I cannot forgive him - fuck him, fuck the money... it's not important. But I will never forgive him for causing me to feel like this, for ripping apart my sense of trust. I am re-building it, slowly, but my fingers have been badly burned. I wouldn't say it's *that* noticeable, but it is something which has left its' definite mark on me. I hate feeling this way.

That probably sounds completely miserable and that I have this huge mistrust of people. I don't, I swear. I am still convinced that most people are inherently good. But it has made me more cynical and I guess I am just eager for others' opinions or some soothing words that will allow me to make sense of this. Because I cannot make sense of it. I guess you just have to trust some people and stay the hell away from others. And make sure you look out for yourself in the process. I just wish I hadn't learned that lesson in this way.

onenitealone said:

i'm so sorry you had to go through that. i completely agree with a lot of what you said - distancing yourself from people is supposed to be a bad thing but a lot of the time i think it's good/necessary. nothing hurts more than a friend screwing you over.

CarrieMpls said:

I like this answer. I'll go with that too.

I like both turtles & frogs.
But only when they come in the form of a soup or as a plateful of fried legs, respectively.
Is that considered cynical?