Come on Orgers tell some jokes!

What did one tampon say to the other tampon?


Nothing. They were both stuckup cunts.

Imago said:

you should totally stick to phone jokes.

evenstar3 said:

I'm afraid that doesn't improve my jokes any.

Imago said:

Imago said:

I thought it was funny, lol.

Imago said:

That is sooooo my new signature.

One of my favorite jokes:



BAPTISM OF A DRUNK


A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in a river.

He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, and asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk answers, " Yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk says, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, for a little longer this time.

He again pulls the drunk out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits' end and dunks the drunk in the water again-but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs, he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes, catches his breath and says to the preacher,


"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare." The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused." Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father." Next!

ThreadBare said:

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.
He throws the kite up in the air, the wind
Catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth.
He tries this a few more times with no success.
All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband,
"You need a piece of tail."
The man turns with a confused look on his face and says,
"Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."

heyduckie said:

A mortician is preparing the corpse of a recently deceased man, when he notices that the body has the most enormous penis he has ever seen.

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz" he says to the corpse, "but I cannot allow this to be lost to the worms. It must be saved for posterity." So he cuts of the member and places it in his briefcase.

Later when he gets home, he calls for his wife, "Honey I have something unbelievable to show you." He pulls out the appendage and shows it to her.

His wife screams out, "Oh my God! ...Schwartz is dead!"

Yes you are going to here this one again because it is the greatest joke ever...

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the oven until it`s Bill Withers.