Seriously, folks...


How much confidence do you possess?


A little? A lot? Somewhere in between?


Did you learn to develop it? Or have you lost it? How did you get it back?


Is there a way of maintaining it?



I confuse myself, sometimes. Some days, I can walk down the street and feel like I *OWN* it, almost. Others - like today - all I want is the ground to swallow me up. I'd be quite happy walking around invisible.

I know that Life itself plays a part in this and, sometimes, you just gotta go with the flow. If it's a good day, you may feel great. If it's a bad day, you may feel not-so-great. But how do you strike a balance between the two?

i guess it depends on where you are in your day or in your life, and where you are in the relative spectrum of people in general.

god, was that a broad enough answer?

i mean to say, i look at a lot of the schmoes i see in a normal work day, and i feel like i have confidence gushing from me like freakin niagara falls.

then, when i see people who are doing things i admire and envy, i realize just how much confidence i lack.

maybe i have a lot of confidence, but i don't know how to channel it to benefit me best.

Like you and Anx both sorta said, it depends on the circumstances, my mood, everything. I think at work I border on too confident sometimes. It is the one place I know I know what I'm doing and am an expert at something. I am respected.
Everywhere else I could probably stand to be much more confident.

Loads...if people don't like it then fuck em..... but i try and balance that (not always succesfully) with a giving attitude.

It chops and changes from day to day for me, just depends on my general mood. Confidence within myself is not something Ive ever doubted a lot, compared to others I know. It's part of being a know-it-all I think!

But I am a lot shyer than I used to be now, which I think just comes from slowly meeting more people and life generally getting harder than it was in high school. I never realised it, but I was a lot more confident in high school than I am now (I left 6 years ago), and I think it's just cause I've had more... setbacks now.

So...confident in my abilities - yes, but confident in myself, like talking to people...not really.

I think I have it deep down but for some reason it's easier for me to navigate through things when I play it down. I really wish I could get over that, it's truly held me back when I've been on the brink of some great things... I'm working on it constantly...

Most people think I have loads of it, but I actually have very little confidence.

JustErin said:

I think being able to pretend to be confident is very important though. Not many people actually have a reserve of it.

susannah said:

I'm quite good at pretending.

omg don't even go there

you remember our talk a while ago, if i start on this
i'll be here all day, lol.

CarrieMpls said:

Me too

I tend to have more confidence in others than I do myself...

hmmm

Shanti1 said:

And there is absolutley no reason that should be so

I hate having a meal with a bunch of people I don't know

LOADS and very little..

mdiver said:

Well I am learning the hard way to stop that...

I know the feeling, Alun.

Around my friends I have no confidence issues. Around others it varies completely; with some I'll be a total nutjob, with others I won't say a thing - usually cause I just don't have anything I deem worth opening my mouth for.

However, what's helped me most in life has been a changing attitude - whereas before when things got blue I'd spend the next day regretting having blood running down my forearms whenever I stretched, now I live by Nike's corporate slogan:

Just do it.

(Insert a "fucking" before "do it" for extra motivation)

Because if there's one thing life's taught me so far, it's that getting blue and feeling down is just never worth worrying about or wallowing in. Live for the happy days and hammer out the bad ones.


Don't let "the system" get to you, maaaaan.
[Edited 4/24/07 7:30am]

i perceive it as a state of mind. one day when you feel good about yourself you're outgoing, another you feel like shit you just cave in.

some days you're the dung beetle..... some days you're the dung.


i'm sure we all have days when our confidence is shot to hell, but on those days i usually try to remember what i felt like the day before when there was no doubt i was damn sexy. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. and while my confidence in myself has been growing lately.... my confidence in others is fading.

Spookymuffin said:

i mean this in a totally serious not stoned at all way when i say that is beautiful man.



.
[Edited 4/24/07 7:34am]

I don't know whether what I have is confidence...or simply not giving a shit what other people think.

SexOnWheels said:

Well thank you, but it's far from the most eloquent thing I've ever written.

Shanti1 said:

I'm the opposite way. *sigh*

Spookymuffin said:

no, that accolade goes to a "chunks" related quote....

LittleSmedley said:

oh absolutely.... that was pure poetry.

just about everything anx said. sometimes i'm pretty good at faking it also

I think I've got it only to the extent that I should.

I just wrote out an individual response to *everyone* who commented but the bloody Org swallowed it!!

Ho bloody hum.

Thank you, guys - I mean that sincerely. It's interesting to see your takes on this subject and gives me something to think about.

I will come back to this thread properly.

I have a wealth of confidence in myself and my abilities to do or accomplish things for the most part though from time to time my drive isn't up to speed and that’s when, I think is when my confidence slips a bit.

SexOnWheels said: