Janfriend said:

well he wasn't worthy of your friendship to begin with and not worth the time or energy your concerns

Spookymuffin said:

I agree with the statements of if people don't get in touch then who cares...move on. I understand that people get busy and we all have lives but with free minutes on a cell phone and 24 hours in a day, give me a break. Sometimes it's just easier to let someone fade away rather than have to say "You suck, I don't want to be your friend anymore", rather pussy, if you ask me but whatever gets you through the night. What I've come to realize is that true friends are rare and the rest of the people that pass through your life are not so rare. You really see who's who when something bad happens in your life.

Slave2daGroove said:

I learned alot about people then.

Slave2daGroove said:

Tell it like it is!

and then on the flip side, which is what i've experienced lately, is that some people are ONLY there for you when something bad happens to you. But when you come out of the storm and good things start to happen to you, they disappear on you and don't want to share in your joy. That's something to watch for as well.
[Edited 4/20/07 11:39am]

Plenty of these in the states. The friend me on myspace, but I always have to start conversation on the phone/IM/e-mail.

I've never been one to have really intense friendships in the past, but I have been hurt by more than one friend who I loved and know love me too, but they can't pick up the phone and I have seriously, never called them again and never heard from them again.

Friends are important to me, very important but over the last 12 months my life situation has had many changes. Large changes. Many of those that were my "friends" have disappered when the going got tough. Many have listened to one side of my story without balance and believed what they heard. Many have simply never bothered to talk to me and ask me, they have assumed that the snippets they have are the truth.
Don't get me wrong there are things that have gone on i am not proud of, and yet my view of friendship is such that i understand that all of us fuck up, all of us make mistakes, and no matter what we might think we NEVER truly know the whole story unless we were THERE in the room.
It is a shame for me that many of these "friends" do not feel the human kindness to live up to the golden rule....treat others as you would like to be treated.

And yet i feel this has made me stronger, it has taught me that constant giving out of myself, although kind and generous, often attracts people that are very much one way, don't analyze the reasons why or how a friendship survives.

I have been taught that my life if richer and happier without these ones. Those that have remained and treated me as i would treat them are now very much a core or real friends, one i know have got my back just as i would for them, ones i know i can count on to listen and be balanced as well as sympathetic as i am for them.

Basically i have learned that quality is better than quantity.It is a shame because the losses hurt hugely but long term.....my life does not need leeches.

Ugh! I can't be bothered to write it all out again, but suffice to say I know all about this.

mdiver said:

You are a quality friend- you helped me through a very tough time in my life and never judged me.
As you have told me on many occasions- never doubt your self worth especially when it comes to being a friend.
I am sorry you have had to learn about the quality/quantity thing the hard way. It does suck but it does make you stronger.
Thank you for your friendship
[Edited 4/21/07 2:00am]

mdiver said:

Actually, my new system is to make plenty of friends, but if they don't reciprocate the friendly love by keeping in touch, I feel free to drop them. The more friends you make, the less important any of them are. Sounds cold, but it's like that out there.