have you ever had a lover influence you to spend less time with a friend for the sake of your relationship, only to have the relationship not work out, leaving you to repair a tattered friendship?

No. My friends are my family and it's that important to me. I don't expect everyone to be best friends but I can't imagine dating someone who couldn't at the very least get along with them.

No. real friends will support you with whomever you date, so there's not reason to fight with them over it.
But it did allow me to learn who is just a lousy friend.

No, but I have been on the receiving end of a so-called "friend" not calling me or keeping in touch with me when they are dating someone. I've never understood why some people do that, since it's very hurtful. There is no real reason why you can't keep your friends while you're dating somebody. There is no need to cut them off and pretend like they don't exist, and not return their phone calls. I would never do this to any of my friends, and it just made me realize just who my real friends were.

I'll never forget this one time when someone who I had been friends with was dating someone, and never bothered to return my phone calls. She then got engaged to the guy that she was dating, and had the nerve to invite me to the wedding! Of course I turned it down, luckily I was going on vacation during the weekend that her wedding was planned. But even if I wasn't going away on vacation, I still would not have gone, since this "friend" really had not been acting like one in quite some time.

I guess you live and learn as to who your real friends are and who isn't.

Nope.

Yes, but not a friend. A family member.

I don't regret it but I now realize that I was being incredibly selfish.

I think, though, we also have to understand that when somene starts dating someone seriously they simply will not have the same amount of time they used to. It happens to everyone. There's a difference, though, between ignoring and/or being rude to your friends and simply not having the same amount of time anymore.

CarrieMpls said:

Definitely. Especially during that early infatuation stage, you're naturally going to be more occupied. But the key is to still communicate, to let your friends and family know that you love them and are still available when they really need you. If you approach it that way, and they really care about you, they'll usually understand and be able to share in your happiness.

Bro's before Ho's.

FunkMistress said:

Agreed! I have friends who still made time for me, called me and were willing to hang out with me, even when they were dating someone. It makes all the difference in the world.

If you're in a serious relationship, one that you plan to keep forever, like marriage, then I think your friends should either accept that, or leave.

My brother's wife for example doesn't get along with most of my family. they just don't like her. But my brother will stick with her, because that's his family now.

All of the guys I've dated hated my bestfriend (who is a male) becuz they were jealous of how close we were.

One guy even went as far as to tell me that I couldnt talk to my bestfriend anymore. Bitch please

I use to regret somethings but not anymore

No, I haven't and not do that to my friends because my friends are my family and I bring whoever I'm dating or with into my circle as I would expect them to do with me, bringing me into theirs. But I have had it done to me by all of my friends when they were in one relationship or a few relationships, it happens.

DanceWme said:

Damn, that's cold for a guy to tell you that you couldn't talk to your best friend, just because he happened to be male. That guy you were dating sounded like a control freak.

Oh wait, this is just about spending less time. I thought it was more about being with someone that created drama with a friend/family member.

In regard to less time...naw, none of my friends care about that kinda stuff.

psychodelicide said:

Yes he was. I had to let his ass go quick!

DanceWme said:

Good for you! You don't need a guy like that in your life.

psychodelicide said:

@ ur sig about sanjaya

DanceWme said:

I was very happy last night that he finally got the boot.

JustErin said:

Eeek, I read it wrong too.

I don't spend much time with friends as it is, so it does'nt make any difference.

friends just get naturally resentful when someoine "takes" u away from them....at least thats how its been for me. Tattered is a bit strong though

I had a friend who was never available, but every time her boyfriend was out of town, I'd get a call from her. I was a sort of back substitute for her loneliness, I guess. I found it annoying.

I've had several close male friends who simply drop off the map when they get involved in a relationship. That sux. I recently reconnected with an old friend and found he has since been divorced, so now we're buds again and in contact. Don't know how long that will last.

I don't think I've ever done that, unless it just gave me strength to let go of friendships that were a bit toxic and I wanted to get away from anyway. In fact, my ex would always freak because I gave other people so much energy. That pissed me off, but maybe I don't understand the rules of monogamy.

I don't really like the exclusive nature of relationships. I've always had mixed feelings about it and try to maintain my friendships as much as possible.

JustErin said:

I think it's a bit ambiguous. It could go either way.

Fury said:

nope.

CarrieMpls said:

i agree.