WHY PARENTS DRINK



A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, and tattoos, and tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

I'd laugh my ass off.....then put the fear of God into my son.

I like that

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper, “Hello.”

“Is your daddy home?” he asked.

“Yes,” whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?”

The child whispered, “No.”

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”

“Yes.”

“May I talk with her?”

Again the small voice whispered, “No.”

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss Asked, “Is anybody else there?”

“Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman”

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”

“No, he’s busy”, whispered the child.

“Busy doing what?”

“Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman,” came the whispered answer. Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”

“A helicopter” answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed the Helicopter.”

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?” Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:
“ME.”

jerseykrs said:

Don't tell NFW about this thread!

StDrew said:

why you little!!!!

Featuring such bedtime stories such as;

"Daddy Drinks because you cry",

"Mommy's a Whore and you will be too",

"Crack Flakes, It's what's for breakfast"

Slave2daGroove said:

Slave2daGroove said:

my nephew had a baby suit with "Daddy drinks because I cry" written on it