emm said:

You call it "jaded", I call it "wisdom".

oh, and in case it wasn't clear, i'm totally in the anti-"you-are-an-idiot" camp.

I'm in the "You're-not-an-idiot-but-TRUST-me-this-is-a-bad-idea" camp.

I don't know, sweetie. I don't know.



I'd hate for your heart to be torn to bits again, but sometimes it has to be, ya know?

Or maybe it won't.


[Edited 4/2/07 15:20pm]

I think this is something that only the two of you know in your hearts. I am sure many ppl have split up and got back together and managed to work it out.
I am not going to give you my personal experience with it because I am sure it was a totally different situation. still- I have no regrets..

It has happened to me and when we spilt up we realised what we both truly wanted, and so decided not to play around again.. the relationship became really strong after the split

hmm..

you win some and you lose some, but you will never know unless you take part..

follow your heart

Dude, I feel bad for you...

My best friend was a dog when he was younger - foolin' around on his girl
for years...ultimately, they got married, still fooled around and ended up
divorcing after a short time. Finally, he woke up and re-married this
girl (who i'm very fond of). They seem to be very content with each other
lately.

Having a shared history with each other is vastly underappreciated.
Of course, you still have to treat each other with common courtesy.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

i have no experience with a situation like this, but i can imagine that it works out sometimes, and sometimes all the reasons you broke up in the first place surface again. maybe even if those things come up you can work through it. or maybe you'll both realize you're better off finding happiness elsewhere.

but you are NOT an idiot.

melissa you are wonderful, follow your heart, what is the worst that can happen? Pain makes us feel.
I love you.....if you need me.....

pictures please.....

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Don't feel like an idiot. I've never been in that position before but I believe that if you continue to talk to your ex and a common ground can be found again, why not go for it? If the relationship is worth fighting for then do EVERYTHING to get what's yours. I'm rooting for you.
[Edited 4/2/07 18:39pm]

In my experience, if the opportunity to rekindle a relationship presents itself, one has two courses of action:

Option A. To first make the conscious decision to implicitly trust that the other person is as equally and sincerely dedicated as oneself to working through the issues which caused the original breakup, and then to grasp hands and leap into the unknown fully united and with a mutual acceptance of the only possible outcomes: that the relationship may sprout wings and fly higher than ever before, or that it may crash and burn, which would be painful but tempered by the knowledge that both parties put forth their best efforst and a lasting relationship was merely just not in the cards.

This option can be frightening because it demands trust, placed both in the other person and their dedication to the endeavor -- and trust in one's own self to recognize when one has a dead shark on one's hands and the time has finally come to accept that reality and move on.

or Option b. Choosing to forego the possible additional emotional pain of a repeat breakup and learning to deal with any lingering "what if"'s at never knowing if the relationship could have, indeed, been salvaged and overcome if only one had tried.

Both options might leave you with pain. One option might leave you with a deeper and closer relationship and great joy..and a greater wisdom, no matter what the outcome.

No one else's experiences can help you to make this decision, Melissa. Individual relationships are far too unique to use them as a reliable gauge of your own. That's the beauty of every single life story (and love story) that's ever existed - the ability to be unparalleled and the potential to be exceptional.

If you truly believe your ex-girlfriend's desire to reconcile is sincere, if you both have faith your problems are surmountable and willingly accept any potential pain resulting from a future repeat breakup yet still consider that pain worth your efforts towards a successful reunion -- then, try.

Good luck, treasure. If something in life can be done, I've no doubt you're capable of doing it.

You said I was an idiot once to which I laughed and I agreed with you. You are too not because of the situation in hand per se you are just a loon. Plus I think you are fab.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

The story of my life....up until about a year ago and well that has its bumps to...if you need someone you have my number...call anytime.

My brother and his wife were married for 2 yrs then divorced.
After 2 yrs of divorce they remarried and have been together since for over 20 yrs

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Jason & I dated for like 2 weeks in 9th grade before we really started dating after graduation (nearly 15 years ago ) . We broke up for a few months 3 years into our relationship, and we've now been VERY happily married for 6 years. It can happen

I don't think you're an idiot. There's nothing wrong with talking it out and trying again.




M

Did that and it ended, anyway. Mutual parting. Some people can't make up their minds, and I finally put the nail in the cofffin and moved on....the dirt hit the casket...

Yeah you're an idiot. It won't end well, get out NOW and stay away no matter how good it felt. Stay strong!

You're not an idiot. Relationships are fluid and have many twists and turns along the way. You'll never know if you don't take the risk of being hurt again. And as Mr Wonka said both your options have the potential for pain,I think you might as well go for the option that'll give you the most if it works out.

so you are back together? best of luck to you both

ZombieKitten said:

(oh, and after getting back together with the master after a 3 months torturous break-up that traumatised me to no end, I ended up marrying him, so ya never know! )

JDInteractive said:

noob

HereToRockYourWorld said:

You mean girl meets boy/girl, girl loses boy/girl, girl gets boy/girl and they live happily ever after?

Never heard of it

You mean Hollywood's been lying all this time?

mdiver said:

JDInteractive said:

HereToRockYourWorld said:

imo....It is better to do the breaking up/getting back...breaking up/getting back..... b4 you are married, and not wait til after your married for several years and then want to break up, especially if their are kids involved, then it gets extremely ugly!

So, imo...work it out now....good luck and I hope you get what you want and are happy.

and I don't think yer a f*cking idiot
[Edited 4/3/07 6:21am]