This is SOOO not about me..

REDFEATHERS said:

Focus, Red!!!!

So, I have this female friend who for the past year has done her best to stay on my radar.

Usually she was her most vocal when I was dating someone else. And, recently a mutual friend of ours started teasing us about each other. I was like, "Dude, stay out of my business. We're friends."

#1) I'm straight-up with other women, if I'm seeing somebody. I don't like drama, and I certainly don't want folks think I'm the two-timing type. Because, I'm not.

#2) That said, I hate confusion. So, I thought it worth clearing the air with my friend. And, since I don't believe in holding "disloyal/shady" conversations when I'm seeing someone, I waited until being on the outs with my g/f to clear the air with the friend.

She, of course, owned up to paying me a bunch of compliments and such and to thinking there might be some interest on my part. But said that she would prefer we remain friends. Which is cool with me; I really just wanted to clear the air (and, that's not a male ego wailing -- it's the truth).

But, my question is: Why do women work so hard to get on a dude's radar and then bail, when you call them on it?

I chalk it up to immaturity, but I'd appreciate some more perspective. Preferrably from you women-folk...



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[Edited 3/31/07 16:28pm]

here is a theory (but only a theory)

she has a crush on you, and agrees with you because she is afraid if she admits to you - now you have already cleared the air - that she has feelings for you, you might want to see much less of her because it would be awkward?

ThreadBare said:

Just nail her dude!

I didn't even read that properly so many words!

ThreadBare said:

Just nail her dude!

mdiver said:

spoken like a true gentlemen

here is a theory (but only a theory)

she has a crush on you, and agrees with you because she is afraid if she admits to you - now you have already cleared the air - that she has feelings for you, you might want to see much less of her because it would be awkward?

ZombieKitten said:

yes I agree.. and maybe she just loves you as a friend, but a bit more so than other male friends.. or maybe she is just standing back.. now to give you the space you need, cos she does respect your wishes

Or you have too big an ego and she is just being genuinely friendly but you have taken it the other way

OR she really believes in time to come you and her could have something

Or maybe she is just a lesbian and is after your g/f and doesnt wanna hurt you..

So, I have this female friend who for the past year has done her best to stay on my radar.

Usually she was her most vocal when I was dating someone else. And, recently a mutual friend of ours started teasing us about each other. I was like, "Dude, stay out of my business. We're friends."

#1) I'm straight-up with other women, if I'm seeing somebody. I don't like drama, and I certainly don't want folks think I'm the two-timing type. Because, I'm not.

#2) That said, I hate confusion. So, I thought it worth clearing the air with my friend. And, since I don't believe in holding "disloyal/shady" conversations when I'm seeing someone, I waited until being on the outs with my g/f to clear the air with the friend.

She, of course, owned up to paying me a bunch of compliments and such and to thinking there might be some interest on my part. But said that she would prefer we remain friends. Which is cool with me; I really just wanted to clear the air (and, that's not a male ego wailing -- it's the truth).

But, my question is: Why do women work so hard to get on a dude's radar and then bail, when you call them on it?

I chalk it up to immaturity, but I'd appreciate some more perspective. Preferrably from you women-folk...



.
[Edited 3/31/07 16:28pm]

mdiver said:

nah. not my overriding interest. looking for something permanent.

I try to shun fornicative ways.

plus i like her family.

ThreadBare said:

what do you mean? She disliked all your girlfriends?

REDFEATHERS said:

no, she was clear about not being interested in leaving the placid suburb of Platonia for the bustling metropolis of Heartsville. (bear with me. I'm working on a book and just wanted to see that in print...)


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[Edited 3/31/07 16:39pm]

ThreadBare said:

See the wink?

And i guess that means you are not too confident in your performance

See it again?

mdiver said:

Dude, my confidence in that area... ... I'm fine.

ThreadBare said:

Now I am confused..

can you explain again all in emoticons in orgnote..?

REDFEATHERS said:

Red, for the love of small puppies and all that is holy, for the last time, I am not the guy in this picture!!!



We look nothing alike!!!

ThreadBare said:

you are teasing again!

REDFEATHERS said:

REDFEATHERS said:

LleeLlee said:

No, but she had a habit of suggesting leisurely strolls and movies and watching the game at her house, when she (likely) knows I'm seeing someone. Again, all with her admitted thought that I might be interested in her.

I'm thinking it's an ambivalence-immaturity thing, where people only mildly interested in someone find that person significantly more attractive when they're off the market.

ThreadBare said:

The thing is, the clearing the air conversation, it depends if you told her you just want to be friends, she might have said the same if she thinks you're not interested.

LleeLlee said:

like saving face?

ZombieKitten said:

Yeah. i typed out saving face then deleted it.

LleeLlee said: