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Printableand true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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omg my first kiss 
i don't think i can remember. however, i do remember my first french kiss 
it was at a highschool dance with this really loose girl. we went outside, along the soccerfield outbuildings and sat on a low wall. well, actually, i sat on the wall and she stood between my legs 
she was totally dominating the whole thing and just molested me with her tongue. and while this was going on, and she groped my crotch, i had my eyes open and could see this old geezer with a small dog standing under a lamppost, looking horribly much like an SS officer 
then the man moved toward us, i tried to pull my tongue out of her and tell her 'let's go' but something went wrong and i fell off the wall n down about 6 feet into a ditch
ah yes, i was such a master at kissing since the beginning  and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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SaraWright10 said: My first kiss was gross. and that's how i'll put it. It was some dorky boy in the grade above me who had a huge crush on me i was in 4th and he was in 5th and he brought me under the jungle gym on the playground because he "had to show me something" and he turned around and kissed me, so i punched him.
  
Thats exactly what I'm teaching my daughter to do...she's already had to kick a guy in his nads for feeling up her butt.....so the kid not only got his nads kicked into his throat, but he also got suspended...luckily for him, I was here...otherwise they'd STILL be looking for him... He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.
(George Eliot) the video for the above... 
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SaraWright10 said: My first kiss was gross. and that's how i'll put it. It was some dorky boy in the grade above me who had a huge crush on me i was in 4th and he was in 5th and he brought me under the jungle gym on the playground because he "had to show me something" and he turned around and kissed me, so i punched him.
my BEST kiss was unexpected. It was just the november before last and I had been waiting for this guy to like me for years. He was my cousins bestfriend and I'd had a crush on him sense I was 7. One night when I stay with my cousin so did his friend and we ended up hanging out all night and he kissed me. It was amazing. Too bad it turned out all he wanted was sex and he was a real jerk. and as soon as I turned him down for sex he didn't want to be with me anymore  But it still was the best kiss.
shit all boys and men r the same shit...that happened 2 me some months ago  u know from who....but instead of punching him i kicked him...well u know where... 
[Edited 4/1/07 10:03am] [Edited 4/1/07 10:04am]  | |
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It was a he.
I think it was before I turned 15 years old. It was soooo aweful! The guy just ran up to me and kissed me! The worst part was that he was a sloppy slobbery kisser!! eww!! I think it has been like that ever since other guys Ive' gone out with. I have yet to find a good kisser. [Edited 4/1/07 10:40am] I really like spicy food. I mostly put Jalapenos on a lot of my food.
"There are three types of women for a man. The woman he wants to marry, the woman he should marry, and the woman he ends up marrying". -Pedro Infante- Una Vez Y Otra Mas! | |
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Imago said: I think I was 12 on my first kiss.
It was a middle school dance. She was ugly, but i was a nerd. My second kiss came when I was 13, and it was with the neighborhood slut during a game of truth-or-dare. 
The first guy I kissed was probably when I was late 13. We were skinny dipping and it just kind of happened. All guys go through that in their teens. 
M MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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Cloudbuster said: Mine was with a girl called Alicia, we were both 6.
It was her birthday party and we snuck off behind the shed and kissed holding hands in the moonlight.
Sweet! 
j/k  You charmer, you.
Imago said: I think I was 12 on my first kiss. It was a middle school dance. She was ugly, but i was a nerd.
The first guy I kissed... We were skinny dipping...
 Ok, stop right there. 
IstenSzek said: then the man moved toward us, i tried to pull my tongue out of her and
tell her 'let's go' but something went wrong and i fell off the wall n down about 6 feet into a ditch
Did she rescue you???
There's one story I nearly posted last night on this thread about another girl I knew in Uni but it'll either HIDEOUSLY embarrass me, offend a lot of people or both. I may come back to that one.  | |
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Thanks for ALL the responses guys! 
More first kiss stories, please.  | |
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onenitealone said: MIGUELGOMEZ said: KIndergardn, 5 years old. 4th and 5th grade, around 9 and/or 10 years old. I did most of my ho-ing, with boys, between the ages of 5 and 10. But I'm not kidding.
M I don't know whether to ,  or  .
It's been all down hill from there.....heeehee!!! M MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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onenitealone said: Cloudbuster said: Mine was with a girl called Alicia, we were both 6.
It was her birthday party and we snuck off behind the shed and kissed holding hands in the moonlight.
Sweet!
j/k You charmer, you.
Ok, stop right there.
IstenSzek said: then the man moved toward us, i tried to pull my tongue out of her and
tell her 'let's go' but something went wrong and i fell off the wall n down about 6 feet into a ditch
Did she rescue you???
There's one story I nearly posted last night on this thread about another girl I knew in Uni but it'll either HIDEOUSLY embarrass me, offend a lot of people or both. I may come back to that one. Stop teasing!! Spill it! I want to hear the story. M MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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all i remember was this girl in jr high wanted to know what it was like to kiss me because i have "Big lips" lol | |
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IAintTheOne said: all i remember was this girl in jr high wanted to know what it was like to kiss me because i have "Big lips" lol
Well, do you have big lips? I am just laughing about how aweful my first kiss was. ewwwww!!!!!  I really like spicy food. I mostly put Jalapenos on a lot of my food.
"There are three types of women for a man. The woman he wants to marry, the woman he should marry, and the woman he ends up marrying". -Pedro Infante- Una Vez Y Otra Mas! | |
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Paradisekiss03 said: IAintTheOne said: all i remember was this girl in jr high wanted to know what it was like to kiss me because i have "Big lips" lol
Well, do you have big lips? I am just laughing about how aweful my first kiss was. ewwwww!!!!! ive been told through my life i have "nice lips" but not big i dont know they are just lips on my face | |
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IAintTheOne said: Paradisekiss03 said: Well, do you have big lips? I am just laughing about how aweful my first kiss was. ewwwww!!!!! ive been told through my life i have "nice lips" but not big i dont know they are just lips on my face I have small lips. Some people say that I have small lookig mouth. I really like spicy food. I mostly put Jalapenos on a lot of my food.
"There are three types of women for a man. The woman he wants to marry, the woman he should marry, and the woman he ends up marrying". -Pedro Infante- Una Vez Y Otra Mas! | |
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MIGUELGOMEZ said: Stop teasing!! Spill it! I want to hear the story.
M Okay - I think *you* may enjoy it.
You have to bear in mind that (A) I was very young, VERY innocent (I was always behind everybody else that way) and (B) this is not something I'm particularly proud of. I really didn't know better.
It's not exactly a 'first kiss' story but thinking back to my Uni days, this came popping back into my head... About a year later after the story I mentioned earlier in the thread, I sort of had this thing going on with another girl. *Nothing* serious, just literally one of those 'end of the night' thangs  where it would be, like, "Hi are you having a good night? You are? What are you doing next? You're coming back to mine? Cool". Always on a Friday or Saturday night.
Anyway, she was quite, er, feisty this girl - she knew exactly what she wanted - and bearing in mind I wasn't completely convinced I was straight and I was a total pussy we hadn't slept with each other. We were just 'fooling around'. But sleeping with her was the LAST thing on my mind - so that should have told me everything I needed to know.  But she hadn't said anything and I wasn't about to bring it up in a hurry.
Anyway... One night, she came back to mine and after a bit of the old 'how's your father' (as we refer to it here ) she said "When are you going to **** me??".  I was, like, "Erm...".  I didn't know what the hell to do.
So I thought I would experiment a bit. (I am SO gonna regret telling this and my Org reputation will be in tatters, forgive me  ). First, I grabbed a can of Natrel DEODORANT and thought that would suffice.  She wasn't very impressed with that idea. So I was looking around my room thinking "What can I use? What can I use?". Aha! There's my GOLFING UMBRELLA. So I ended up standing about 3 foot away from her, as if I was playing pool or something, with this bloody golfing umbrella with a metal spike on the end. I don't know what I was thinking. She was, like, "What the HELL??! You're not using THAT!" and so nothing happened. She stayed the night, went home and a week later I was thinking about the whole incident, had a dream I was Diana Ross (I swear this is true) and ended up coming out.
What always makes me chuckle, though, is that when I was telling somebody about this and got to the part about scanning the room, looking for objects, they immediately said "What? You didn't think to use your DICK??".  I was, like, "Er.... no". Again, that says it all.
So there you go. I have either completely offended half the women on the Org with that story or thoroughly embarrassed myself. I hope to God Natisse doesn't read that. But I was very young, very naive and knew nothing about these things. As you can tell. Christ, I was a dumbass.
Shall I delete my account now or later?? | |
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onenitealone said: MIGUELGOMEZ said: Stop teasing!! Spill it! I want to hear the story.
M Okay - I think *you* may enjoy it.
You have to bear in mind that (A) I was very young, VERY innocent (I was always behind everybody else that way) and (B) this is not something I'm particularly proud of. I really didn't know better.
It's not exactly a 'first kiss' story but thinking back to my Uni days, this came popping back into my head... About a year later after the story I mentioned earlier in the thread, I sort of had this thing going on with another girl. *Nothing* serious, just literally one of those 'end of the night' thangs where it would be, like, "Hi are you having a good night? You are? What are you doing next? You're coming back to mine? Cool". Always on a Friday or Saturday night.
Anyway, she was quite, er, feisty this girl - she knew exactly what she wanted - and bearing in mind I wasn't completely convinced I was straight and I was a total pussy we hadn't slept with each other. We were just 'fooling around'. But sleeping with her was the LAST thing on my mind - so that should have told me everything I needed to know. But she hadn't said anything and I wasn't about to bring it up in a hurry.
Anyway... One night, she came back to mine and after a bit of the old 'how's your father' (as we refer to it here ) she said "When are you going to **** me??". I was, like, "Erm...". I didn't know what the hell to do.
So I thought I would experiment a bit. (I am SO gonna regret telling this and my Org reputation will be in tatters, forgive me ). First, I grabbed a can of Natrel DEODORANT and thought that would suffice. She wasn't very impressed with that idea. So I was looking around my room thinking "What can I use? What can I use?". Aha! There's my GOLFING UMBRELLA. So I ended up standing about 3 foot away from her, as if I was playing pool or something, with this bloody golfing umbrella with a metal spike on the end. I don't know what I was thinking. She was, like, "What the HELL??! You're not using THAT!" and so nothing happened. She stayed the night, went home and a week later I was thinking about the whole incident, had a dream I was Diana Ross (I swear this is true) and ended up coming out.
What always makes me chuckle, though, is that when I was telling somebody about this and got to the part about scanning the room, looking for objects, they immediately said "What? You didn't think to use your DICK??". I was, like, "Er.... no". Again, that says it all.
So there you go. I have either completely offended half the women on the Org with that story or thoroughly embarrassed myself. I hope to God Natisse doesn't read that. But I was very young, very naive and knew nothing about these things. As you can tell. Christ, I was a dumbass.
Shall I delete my account now or later?? wow!!!!! | |
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onenitealone said: MIGUELGOMEZ said: Stop teasing!! Spill it! I want to hear the story.
M Okay - I think *you* may enjoy it.
You have to bear in mind that (A) I was very young, VERY innocent (I was always behind everybody else that way) and (B) this is not something I'm particularly proud of. I really didn't know better.
It's not exactly a 'first kiss' story but thinking back to my Uni days, this came popping back into my head... About a year later after the story I mentioned earlier in the thread, I sort of had this thing going on with another girl. *Nothing* serious, just literally one of those 'end of the night' thangs where it would be, like, "Hi are you having a good night? You are? What are you doing next? You're coming back to mine? Cool". Always on a Friday or Saturday night.
Anyway, she was quite, er, feisty this girl - she knew exactly what she wanted - and bearing in mind I wasn't completely convinced I was straight and I was a total pussy we hadn't slept with each other. We were just 'fooling around'. But sleeping with her was the LAST thing on my mind - so that should have told me everything I needed to know. But she hadn't said anything and I wasn't about to bring it up in a hurry.
Anyway... One night, she came back to mine and after a bit of the old 'how's your father' (as we refer to it here ) she said "When are you going to **** me??". I was, like, "Erm...". I didn't know what the hell to do.
So I thought I would experiment a bit. (I am SO gonna regret telling this and my Org reputation will be in tatters, forgive me ). First, I grabbed a can of Natrel DEODORANT and thought that would suffice. She wasn't very impressed with that idea. So I was looking around my room thinking "What can I use? What can I use?". Aha! There's my GOLFING UMBRELLA. So I ended up standing about 3 foot away from her, as if I was playing pool or something, with this bloody golfing umbrella with a metal spike on the end. I don't know what I was thinking. She was, like, "What the HELL??! You're not using THAT!" and so nothing happened. She stayed the night, went home and a week later I was thinking about the whole incident, had a dream I was Diana Ross (I swear this is true) and ended up coming out.
What always makes me chuckle, though, is that when I was telling somebody about this and got to the part about scanning the room, looking for objects, they immediately said "What? You didn't think to use your DICK??". I was, like, "Er.... no". Again, that says it all.
So there you go. I have either completely offended half the women on the Org with that story or thoroughly embarrassed myself. I hope to God Natisse doesn't read that. But I was very young, very naive and knew nothing about these things. As you can tell. Christ, I was a dumbass.
Shall I delete my account now or later?? I love it!!!!! Hahah!! One to tell the grandkids. I know you didn't mean any harm when you were looking for apparatusususususus(?) I don't think the women on the org will mind. "I'm coming out....I want the world to know..." Don't worry. I wont post a pic of Diana Ross..... M MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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onenitealone I really like spicy food. I mostly put Jalapenos on a lot of my food.
"There are three types of women for a man. The woman he wants to marry, the woman he should marry, and the woman he ends up marrying". -Pedro Infante- Una Vez Y Otra Mas! | |
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onenitealone said: MIGUELGOMEZ said: Stop teasing!! Spill it! I want to hear the story.
M Okay - I think *you* may enjoy it.
You have to bear in mind that (A) I was very young, VERY innocent (I was always behind everybody else that way) and (B) this is not something I'm particularly proud of. I really didn't know better.
It's not exactly a 'first kiss' story but thinking back to my Uni days, this came popping back into my head... About a year later after the story I mentioned earlier in the thread, I sort of had this thing going on with another girl. *Nothing* serious, just literally one of those 'end of the night' thangs where it would be, like, "Hi are you having a good night? You are? What are you doing next? You're coming back to mine? Cool". Always on a Friday or Saturday night.
Anyway, she was quite, er, feisty this girl - she knew exactly what she wanted - and bearing in mind I wasn't completely convinced I was straight and I was a total pussy we hadn't slept with each other. We were just 'fooling around'. But sleeping with her was the LAST thing on my mind - so that should have told me everything I needed to know. But she hadn't said anything and I wasn't about to bring it up in a hurry.
Anyway... One night, she came back to mine and after a bit of the old 'how's your father' (as we refer to it here ) she said "When are you going to **** me??". I was, like, "Erm...". I didn't know what the hell to do.
So I thought I would experiment a bit. (I am SO gonna regret telling this and my Org reputation will be in tatters, forgive me ). First, I grabbed a can of Natrel DEODORANT and thought that would suffice. She wasn't very impressed with that idea. So I was looking around my room thinking "What can I use? What can I use?". Aha! There's my GOLFING UMBRELLA. So I ended up standing about 3 foot away from her, as if I was playing pool or something, with this bloody golfing umbrella with a metal spike on the end. I don't know what I was thinking. She was, like, "What the HELL??! You're not using THAT!" and so nothing happened. She stayed the night, went home and a week later I was thinking about the whole incident, had a dream I was Diana Ross (I swear this is true) and ended up coming out.
What always makes me chuckle, though, is that when I was telling somebody about this and got to the part about scanning the room, looking for objects, they immediately said "What? You didn't think to use your DICK??". I was, like, "Er.... no". Again, that says it all.
So there you go. I have either completely offended half the women on the Org with that story or thoroughly embarrassed myself. I hope to God Natisse doesn't read that. But I was very young, very naive and knew nothing about these things. As you can tell. Christ, I was a dumbass.
Shall I delete my account now or later??
oh, alun, that's positively hilarious, horrendous and adorable at the same time. |
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onenitealone said: MIGUELGOMEZ said: Stop teasing!! Spill it! I want to hear the story.
M Okay - I think *you* may enjoy it.
You have to bear in mind that (A) I was very young, VERY innocent (I was always behind everybody else that way) and (B) this is not something I'm particularly proud of. I really didn't know better.
It's not exactly a 'first kiss' story but thinking back to my Uni days, this came popping back into my head... About a year later after the story I mentioned earlier in the thread, I sort of had this thing going on with another girl. *Nothing* serious, just literally one of those 'end of the night' thangs where it would be, like, "Hi are you having a good night? You are? What are you doing next? You're coming back to mine? Cool". Always on a Friday or Saturday night.
Anyway, she was quite, er, feisty this girl - she knew exactly what she wanted - and bearing in mind I wasn't completely convinced I was straight and I was a total pussy we hadn't slept with each other. We were just 'fooling around'. But sleeping with her was the LAST thing on my mind - so that should have told me everything I needed to know. But she hadn't said anything and I wasn't about to bring it up in a hurry.
Anyway... One night, she came back to mine and after a bit of the old 'how's your father' (as we refer to it here ) she said "When are you going to **** me??". I was, like, "Erm...". I didn't know what the hell to do.
So I thought I would experiment a bit. (I am SO gonna regret telling this and my Org reputation will be in tatters, forgive me ). First, I grabbed a can of Natrel DEODORANT and thought that would suffice. She wasn't very impressed with that idea. So I was looking around my room thinking "What can I use? What can I use?". Aha! There's my GOLFING UMBRELLA. So I ended up standing about 3 foot away from her, as if I was playing pool or something, with this bloody golfing umbrella with a metal spike on the end. I don't know what I was thinking. She was, like, "What the HELL??! You're not using THAT!" and so nothing happened. She stayed the night, went home and a week later I was thinking about the whole incident, had a dream I was Diana Ross (I swear this is true) and ended up coming out.
What always makes me chuckle, though, is that when I was telling somebody about this and got to the part about scanning the room, looking for objects, they immediately said "What? You didn't think to use your DICK??". I was, like, "Er.... no". Again, that says it all.
So there you go. I have either completely offended half the women on the Org with that story or thoroughly embarrassed myself. I hope to God Natisse doesn't read that. But I was very young, very naive and knew nothing about these things. As you can tell. Christ, I was a dumbass.
Shall I delete my account now or later?? JAYSUS CHRIST, we have to meet. | |
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IAintTheOne said: wow!!!!!
Oh, my Uni days, especially, are full of stories like that. See why I don't post them??
I am so gonna regret posting that. | |
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onenitealone said: IAintTheOne said: wow!!!!!
Oh, my Uni days, especially, are full of stories like that. See why I don't post them??
I am so gonna regret posting that. where are you from? I really like spicy food. I mostly put Jalapenos on a lot of my food.
"There are three types of women for a man. The woman he wants to marry, the woman he should marry, and the woman he ends up marrying". -Pedro Infante- Una Vez Y Otra Mas! | |
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MIGUELGOMEZ said: I love it!!!!! Hahah!! One to tell the grandkids. I know you didn't mean any harm when you were looking for apparatusususususus(?) I don't think the women on the org will mind.
"I'm coming out....I want the world to know..." Don't worry. I wont post a pic of Diana Ross..... M I thought you might you like it. 
Well, I didn't have a (insert camp Prince voice here) "Body massager"  so went with the next best thing. If you see me coming towards you with a golfing umbrella - run the hell away!!
| |
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Paradisekiss03 said: onenitealone
Thanks.
Paradisekiss03 said: where are you from?
PLEASE don't tell me you are her. 
j/k I live in Cardiff, in the UK. Thanks for not hating me. 
. [Edited 4/1/07 12:51pm] | |
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onenitealone said: Paradisekiss03 said: onenitealone
Thanks.
Paradisekiss03 said: where are you from?
PLEASE don't tell me you are her.
j/k I live in Cardiff, in the UK. Thanks for not hating me.
. [Edited 4/1/07 12:51pm] I am not her. I really like spicy food. I mostly put Jalapenos on a lot of my food.
"There are three types of women for a man. The woman he wants to marry, the woman he should marry, and the woman he ends up marrying". -Pedro Infante- Una Vez Y Otra Mas! | |
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CarrieMpls said:
oh, alun, that's positively hilarious, horrendous and adorable at the same time.
That says it ALL. 
I am glad you can see the funny side in it. I don't think she was very impressed at the time. Grossed out, maybe.
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onenitealone said: MIGUELGOMEZ said: Stop teasing!! Spill it! I want to hear the story.
M Okay - I think *you* may enjoy it.
You have to bear in mind that (A) I was very young, VERY innocent (I was always behind everybody else that way) and (B) this is not something I'm particularly proud of. I really didn't know better.
It's not exactly a 'first kiss' story but thinking back to my Uni days, this came popping back into my head... About a year later after the story I mentioned earlier in the thread, I sort of had this thing going on with another girl. *Nothing* serious, just literally one of those 'end of the night' thangs where it would be, like, "Hi are you having a good night? You are? What are you doing next? You're coming back to mine? Cool". Always on a Friday or Saturday night.
Anyway, she was quite, er, feisty this girl - she knew exactly what she wanted - and bearing in mind I wasn't completely convinced I was straight and I was a total pussy we hadn't slept with each other. We were just 'fooling around'. But sleeping with her was the LAST thing on my mind - so that should have told me everything I needed to know. But she hadn't said anything and I wasn't about to bring it up in a hurry.
Anyway... One night, she came back to mine and after a bit of the old 'how's your father' (as we refer to it here ) she said "When are you going to **** me??". I was, like, "Erm...". I didn't know what the hell to do.
So I thought I would experiment a bit. (I am SO gonna regret telling this and my Org reputation will be in tatters, forgive me ). First, I grabbed a can of Natrel DEODORANT and thought that would suffice. She wasn't very impressed with that idea. So I was looking around my room thinking "What can I use? What can I use?". Aha! There's my GOLFING UMBRELLA. So I ended up standing about 3 foot away from her, as if I was playing pool or something, with this bloody golfing umbrella with a metal spike on the end. I don't know what I was thinking. She was, like, "What the HELL??! You're not using THAT!" and so nothing happened. She stayed the night, went home and a week later I was thinking about the whole incident, had a dream I was Diana Ross (I swear this is true) and ended up coming out.
What always makes me chuckle, though, is that when I was telling somebody about this and got to the part about scanning the room, looking for objects, they immediately said "What? You didn't think to use your DICK??". I was, like, "Er.... no". Again, that says it all.
So there you go. I have either completely offended half the women on the Org with that story or thoroughly embarrassed myself. I hope to God Natisse doesn't read that. But I was very young, very naive and knew nothing about these things. As you can tell. Christ, I was a dumbass.
Shall I delete my account now or later??
Dude, this story has my vote for post of the year....hands down!!! Too funny.... He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.
(George Eliot) the video for the above...
http://www.youtube.com/wa...re=related | |
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Imago said: JAYSUS CHRIST, we have to meet.
 | |
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Paradisekiss03 said: onenitealone said: PLEASE don't tell me you are her.
j/k I live in Cardiff, in the UK. Thanks for not hating me.
. [Edited 4/1/07 12:51pm] Sorry! I genuinely was kidding. I hope I didn't cause any offence.
I am not her. | |
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reneGade20 said:
Dude, this story has my vote for post of the year....hands down!!! Too funny.... Cheers!
Well I'm glad it gave you guys a laugh.
Not one of my proudest moments. | |
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