I have a transexual friend who went from she to he during my time of knowing her--->him. I knew of her before she was a he, but then I became friends with him after she became a he. It was the hardest thing for me to think of her as a him. I felt like the essence was a she and the covering was a he. But then as I got to know him better, he definitely seemed like a he because his voice got low and gruff and he had facial hair, wore a leather jacket and had a masculine aura. So now I mostly think of him as a him, but with a soft her inside also and mostly as a really smart friend who has a lot in common with me.

You know, those people who you don't know if they're male or female and they don't want to disclose that information and you're all like, "I just want to know what pronouns to use" and then they're all like "screw you, that's none of your business, leave me alone" and then you're like "then how can I love you?" and they're all "cut a hole in the sheet and figure it out" and then you've had enough so you go out walking and find an IHOP and you spend all night eating caramel crepes because it's really hard to have just one plate, especially when you're confronted with gender ambiguity late at night, so you stay up all night eating damn IHOP and reading an old copy of IN STYLE you found stuffed in your booth, then you go home the next morning and they're waiting at the door in their non-gender-revealing nightclothes, shaking their head at you and they're all like, "NOW YOU'RE FAT!" and you're like WHAT.EVER, because at least you know that much about yourself, you know?

So what's that ABOUT?!?!?

oh PS: this is all hypothetical.

I have a transexual friend who went from she to he during my time of knowing her--->him. I knew of her before she was a he, but then I became friends with him after she became a he. It was the hardest thing for me to think of her as a him. I felt like the essence was a she and the covering was a he. But then as I got to know him better, he definitely seemed like a he because his voice got low and gruff and he had facial hair, wore a leather jacket and had a masculine aura. So now I mostly think of him as a him, but with a soft her inside also and mostly as a really smart friend who has a lot in common with me.

heartbeatocean said:

I'm curious to see if I'll ever really think of this person as a man. His voice (I am trying, out of respect, to say "his") is deepening, but like you say, that feels a little like a covering. I feel like all the hormones and surgery still don't change that chromosome.

I guess I also don't understand that kind of radical medical procedure. I'd never undergo surgery like that except to save my life.

But maybe over time I'll adjust

...but a person is a person, sex only matters so much.

Whateva said:

yeah, that's it right there.

heartbeatocean said:

Especially if you're not having it with them.

heartbeatocean said:

Especially if you're not having it with them.

Someone at my job just went through gender reassignment. My bosses were calling her "him" the day after she announced that she was doing it--before it actually happened, and their only comments were "that's so cool!"

I'm pretty open minded, and I support people's decisions as long as they don't hurt anyone else. But I realized that it was okay for me to not just treat it as "oh whatever, she's a he now." I knew her as a her for years and now she was getting a new name and new identity. Why should that not be something I would need to adjust to over some time?

Now I've been cool to him to his face and I use his new name out of respect. But I just thought my bosses were weird for acting like it was no big deal--something that everyone goes through.

I mean, what if Anx renounced Xanadu and started calling himself Xna? Would it be no big deal?

XxAxX said:

SNL seriously needs to revive Pat. i LOVED that sketch. i remember the one where John Goodman gave her/him a haircut and tried offering her/him either a Better Homes and Gardens magazine or something like Cars and Trucks, and s/he asked for People. by the end of the sketch he was trying to feel her/him up just to figure it out!!




good times. good times.
[Edited 3/31/07 22:48pm]

NDRU said:

Actually, I'm more attracted to him now that he's a guy. It's funny because he's a guy guy too, not one of those effeminate types.

REDFEATHERS said:

yeah, something about chip buttys.

heartbeatocean said:

I'm curious to see if I'll ever really think of this person as a man. His voice (I am trying, out of respect, to say "his") is deepening, but like you say, that feels a little like a covering. I feel like all the hormones and surgery still don't change that chromosome.

I guess I also don't understand that kind of radical medical procedure. I'd never undergo surgery like that except to save my life.

But maybe over time I'll adjust

I never understood why a man would go through all of that stress and work to be a women...it is a pain in the ass to be a women..I don't get it.

SexOnWheels said:

omg tooo dang funny...pat used to kind of feel her/himself up while talking making those lil moany type noises

and remember his/her partner...wasnt her/his name chris?? lol-another gender neutral mess...

sweet said:

i don't remember pat's partner! is there a "best of" dvd i can rent somewhere!

SexOnWheels said:

i cant find one that specifies pat but i found this on imdb:

i guess there was a movie...who knew? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110169/


Pat Riley, an obnoxious busybody of undeterminable sex, meets and falls in love with Chris, a sensitive, caring person also of undeterminable sex. Their relationship suffers because Pat's a lout, and cannot decide on a direction for its life. Meanwhile, Pat's neighbor Kyle falls further and further into obsession with Pat, fascinated by its indeterminate sexuality.

NDRU said:

Maybe the difficulty you're having with this is that you are confusing sex with gender. A person's sex -what their chromosomes say they are is static and obviously can't be changed, but a person's gender -their mental and emotional state of ebing man or woman -can be. Sometimes the gender just doesn't match the sex, and it's really just more cost-effective, practical, and simple to rearrange the body to match the mind rather than the mind to match the body.

meow85 said:

It's true I don't quite get it, but that's okay. I don't have to get it, I just have to respect his choice. The issue I have is just that it's a huge change, and I think it's okay for it to take a while to become real in my mind.

It's hard to adjust to peoples' changes. People still call me Andy, even though I started going by Andrew in 1991. Then they apologise and make a big deal out of it!

NDRU said:

off topic...u sooo dont look like an andy to me...u r totally NDRU
u have a nice calming quality about u that i dig

do u actually correct 'em when they call u andy tho?

You know, those people who you don't know if they're male or female and they don't want to disclose that information and you're all like, "I just want to know what pronouns to use" and then they're all like "screw you, that's none of your business, leave me alone" and then you're like "then how can I love you?" and they're all "cut a hole in the sheet and figure it out" and then you've had enough so you go out walking and find an IHOP and you spend all night eating caramel crepes because it's really hard to have just one plate, especially when you're confronted with gender ambiguity late at night, so you stay up all night eating damn IHOP and reading an old copy of IN STYLE you found stuffed in your booth, then you go home the next morning and they're waiting at the door in their non-gender-revealing nightclothes, shaking their head at you and they're all like, "NOW YOU'RE FAT!" and you're like WHAT.EVER, because at least you know that much about yourself, you know?

So what's that ABOUT?!?!?