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PrintableNWF said: I think not having a father around to teach me about manhood and defending myself against bullies played a part in my problem. I mean, my mother had to paly both the parent's roles and it wasn't easy.
i had both of my folks raising me till my mom died, then my dad raised me on his own up until i set out on my own a few years ago. it was kinda-sorta awkward for him to raise a little girl without a female around most of the time, but he raised me well. both he and my mom both could hold their own independently, so i came out alright. Also, I came up at a time where Gangsta Rap and the negative aspects of Hip-Hop were popular. And since music and pop culture influences children the most, it was something reflective of the attitudes of the students.
i kinna can relate to that as well, but not so much because all the schools i went to were populated with mostly white people--the few people who did latch on to the whole gangsta rap trend were few and far between. they couldnt've cared less about me and the way i dressed and didn't fit in (or even attempt to). | |
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Handclapsfingasnapz said: NWF said: I think not having a father around to teach me about manhood and defending myself against bullies played a part in my problem. I mean, my mother had to paly both the parent's roles and it wasn't easy.
i had both of my folks raising me till my mom died, then my dad raised me on his own up until i set out on my own a few years ago. it was kinda-sorta awkward for him to raise a little girl without a female around most of the time, but he raised me well. both he and my mom both could hold their own independently, so i came out alright. Also, I came up at a time where Gangsta Rap and the negative aspects of Hip-Hop were popular. And since music and pop culture influences children the most, it was something reflective of the attitudes of the students.
i kinna can relate to that as well, but not so much because all the schools i went to were populated with mostly white people--the few people who did latch on to the whole gangsta rap trend were few and far between. they couldnt've cared less about me and the way i dressed and didn't fit in (or even attempt to). Well see that's the thing. Harlem, N.Y. was at one point one of the roughest ghettos in the city. And I was right there, dealing with all that crap. But like I said before, maybe if I went to a predominantly white school I would've been treated differently. But then I think that's also a delusion. Look at Columbine.  NEW WAVE FOREVER: SLAVE TO THE WAVE FROM THE CRADLE TO THE GRAVE. | |
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I wasn't a bully per se; but I was a real bitch to certain people in my school, and I got picked on, too.
Where I grew up that was the way it was. On the school bus the older kids picked on the younger kids, then when you were older, you did the same. (Nothing physical like beating people up, just name calling, etc.) I cried on school bus on my first day of kindergarten b/c of the nickname someone gave me. Twenty-five years later, this guy & his sister are the only ones that still call me that name. A month ago, that same guy did not hesitate to let me use 50,000 of his frequent flyer miles to fly home for my grandfather's funeral. My two "best friends" in high school were ruthless bitches. These two would intentionally start fights with one another to see whose side the rest of our clique would take, then make up, and be pissed at whomever didn't take their side. That was their idea of slumber party fun.  They made fun of the way I walked, dressed, styled my hair, etc; they would find out which guy I had a crush on and then date him, they started a rumor that I was a lesbian because I didn't have a boyfriend, my junior year one of them just stopped talking to me one day b/c (I later found out) I was "too perfect". (After she taught me how to walk, dress, etc.) And remember, these were my best friends. I had guy friends from other schools that did not understand why I was friends with them. Well, because in a high school with 100 people, if you aren't friends with the right people, they will make your life hell. (I always say that movie Heathers is like my high school w/o the murders.)
I admit that I was mean to people too--not nearly as bad as these two girls; but there are things that I feel bad about doing. I think with girls it's more mental/psychological whereas guys just beat each other up. So yeah, it sucks to get picked on, and especially beat up; but like Anx pointed out the best revenge is doing your thing & living well. Karma will work it out with the bullies, you don't need to. . [Edited 3/30/07 15:07pm] The check. The string he dropped. The Mona Lisa. The musical notes taken out of a hat. The glass. The toy shotgun painting. The things he found. Therefore, everything seen–every object, that is, plus the process of looking at it–is a Duchamp. | |
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Anx said: yeah, i was bullied a lot but i usually got out of it fairly easily with my wits, or just by exuding the simple fact that i didn't give a damn about them.
i had a few nasty scrapes with bullies, and i don't know why i haven't let it become baggage in my adult life...it's just that, even as a kid, their opinions and threats meant nothing to me. i was an existential little motherfucker, though.  I dunno, that really made me laugh!
In a nice way though! Rock n roll baby | |
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This is the first thread in a long time I've actually sat and read all the posts.
So thanks everyone 
And as for me, it's funny, my reflex is to say no, I wasn't bullied, but thats not true, I was, quite a bit, at a few different times (I moved around a lot). But nothing serious, well, ok, I got my head kicked in a few times But I lived, and they got what was coming to them. I was an only child, but I had a lot of cousins around (we all lived in the same viliage lol) and they were popular and scary, so they had my back. I guess Im just over it. I had a bit of an epiphany when I was 16, my Dad, who I always knew had my back, died, and something changed in me. I was never ever going to let anyone hurt me again.
And I never have. I'm quite the scary motherfucker now actually  When I want to be that is...So it's all water off a ducks back now.Rock n roll baby | |
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NWF said: It was a very frequent thing that occured in my younger years. Because I was a nred, and I liked New Wave and I was very articulately spoken gentleman and scholar, I was a very easy target.
But now that I'm older and stronger, if I see any of those bullies again, I'll kill them. I'm dead serious. I'll fucking kill them. Well, OK, maybe not kill them, but do so really bad damage to them. You have no idea how much trauma they've caused in my life. I still see a couple around in my 'hood, so I can identify them. They better pray that I don't come across a broken glass bottle. Even if it's broken that bottle can still be of good use.  I feel your pain, brother. I got crap in school too(in NYC and when I moved to suburban Long Island). Not so much physical, but a lot of mental abuse. It's not "cool" for black kids to get good grades in school(boys moreso than girls). You're called "fa---t", "sellout" & "whitey". Being small for my size and not that good at sports didn't help either. There were days I hated going to school. But like you, I'm older, bigger, stronger with a mean streak a mile wide. They'd find out pretty quick the days of talking smack to me and getting away with it are long gone. Matter of fact, years ago, I saw one of my tormentors working at a gas station. I just laughed to myself while that scrawny MFer filled my car. I loved every minute of it - loser! [Edited 3/30/07 15:28pm] | |
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NWF said: Handclapsfingasnapz said: i kinna can relate to that as well, but not so much because all the schools i went to were populated with mostly white people--the few people who did latch on to the whole gangsta rap trend were few and far between. they couldnt've cared less about me and the way i dressed and didn't fit in (or even attempt to). Well see that's the thing. Harlem, N.Y. was at one point one of the roughest ghettos in the city. And I was right there, dealing with all that crap. But like I said before, maybe if I went to a predominantly white school I would've been treated differently. But then I think that's also a delusion. Look at Columbine. I'm From NYC and would like to know what High School you went to? | |
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Yeah I did...by a group of mean girls...I don't know why..I was just shy, quiet and a good student...I didn't like to be apart of a click...too much politics even at that age!  I always acted older than my age and I would get laughed at when I would be poliet to adults.
But I forgive all of them really..true forgivness really stenghtens you..actually when I look back on alot of it I can see the absurdity and humor in it...like there was this loud black guy who got held back and would pick on everyone! Somedays he would single me out and tell everyone I wore "seventies" clothes. Whatever the hell that ment...I used to excuse myself to go the the girls room and cry...now I think it was really funny and I can't even believe I was every scared of his loud ass!! | |
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NWF said: I thought maybe if I went to a school of predominantly white or upper middle class kids, I probably would'nt have dealt with such violence. But I'm pretty sure that's not true. Violence exists everywhere in any school made up of people of all colors.
Nothing controversial about that statement, without needing to compare, too many Black children are verbally and physically abusive to one another. The self-deprecation, N-words, Black children play fighting, using foul language.... I'm not sure if this any consolation, but the pain you suffered is 100 times better than going through your formative years and later life being Hard and angry, point being, those boys that attacked you are worse off than you, thank god you didn't turn out that way, or to paraphrase a mobb depp lyric "a real nigga without no feelings". As hard as it might seem, I suggest you send love to those who attacked you, it will only serve to help you, and really, the hardness is just a defense mechanism against a society that has abandoned them in a dense population with few resources...until gentrification comes and then the people are priced out. If you're still in Harlem, u know the deal. | |
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Yeah, this boy in the third grade named Steven side shoved me against the wall a couple of times. He even bothered to write me a 1 page letter about all of things he disliked about me. I don't remember what all was said, but I don't think it was that bad. I do remember one particular line though. Your plates are as big as my hands. I guess by that he meant my titties.   I told my mom about it, who told the teacher, who then talked to Steven. He never bothered me again. Actually, I don't think I was gonna say anything about it, but my mom found the letter on the car seat after she dropped me off to piano lesson. She asked me about the letter and I acted as if it was nothing, because I knew it was gonna turn into this big ordeal. My mom evidently talked to my grandma about it. We used to spend a lot of time at our grandma's house because our mom would work 2nd shift. Anyway, I think it was the next night, my grandma asked if someone at school was messing with me, and I broke down and confessed. My grandma always had a penchant for making you come out with it. As a child, I hated that question "Is someone messing with you". I was never bullied by the masses though.....guess I'm lucky. Of course there would be the occasional catty girl throughout school who would say something. whatever. That's pretty typical for middle/high school girls. looking for you in the woods tonight Switch FC SW-2874-2863-4789 (Rum&Coke) | |
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CarrieMpls said: My brother and I fought viciously when I was a child. He really was the worst bully to me. He was 5 years older than me, too. He called me names, I had bruises constantly all over but I once knocked the wind out of him. I learned how to fight, though.
I got the usual stupid comments from people in jr high and high school for being a freak. I once got pushed around by a big jock guy in high school cause I was wearing plaid tights.
But when I was around 14 or so, I stopped bullies from picking on some younger kids in my neighborhood.  It happened a few times, but I particularly remember when I saw some mean boy steal another little girl's homework and she was crying and I got it back for her and chased him all the way down the block. You're a hero. I remember a scuffle I got into with my brother too. He's only 2 years older than I am. We were shoving each other near this closet and we both went tumbling into the closet, breaking it. I think I was around 12, maybe. Other than that, I get along great with him. We're like mental twins. looking for you in the woods tonight Switch FC SW-2874-2863-4789 (Rum&Coke) | |
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reneGade20 said: My older sisters used to "mentally" bully me....since they wanted a little sister instead of a brother, I was usually the canvas for dress up day...
It's a good thing you didn't end up like Norman Bates. looking for you in the woods tonight Switch FC SW-2874-2863-4789 (Rum&Coke) | |
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AnckSuNamun said: reneGade20 said: My older sisters used to "mentally" bully me....since they wanted a little sister instead of a brother, I was usually the canvas for dress up day...
It's a good thing you didn't end up like Norman Bates. True....then again, I know I'm able to pull off a mini-skirt if the need ever arises.....  He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.
(George Eliot) the video for the above... 
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FunkMistress said: CarrieMpls said: My brother and I fought viciously when I was a child. He really was the worst bully to me. He was 5 years older than me, too. He called me names, I had bruises constantly all over but I once knocked the wind out of him. I learned how to fight, though.
I got the usual stupid comments from people in jr high and high school for being a freak. I once got pushed around by a big jock guy in high school cause I was wearing plaid tights.
But when I was around 14 or so, I stopped bullies from picking on some younger kids in my neighborhood. It happened a few times, but I particularly remember when I saw some mean boy steal another little girl's homework and she was crying and I got it back for her and chased him all the way down the block. 
Go Carrie! aww, I second that, that is great Carrie! | |
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I never got bullied, but I remember this gangster dude that everyone was scared of when I was a freshmen who was a junior at the time had "beef" with me. I tried to diplomatically solve the shit, counselors and all, but the fucker would keep harassing me so one day in the quad at lunch he decided to talk shit and I just stepped on his foot kicked him in his knee cap, tackled his ass and pummeled his ass in front of about 200 kids. We both got suspended and when we came back the dudes gangster homey tried to fight me and got the shit kicked out of him. After that no one ever fucked around with me again in high school. I still have friends that I see on occasion at bars that tell the story about how I whipped big ganster abel's ass who was two years older and 50 pounds heavier than me! Carpenters bend wood, fletchers bend arrows, wise men fashion themselves.
Don't Talk About It, Be About It! | |
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boys can be so mean to girls in elementary school. I was never really bullied, just bad names and stuff. I was always nice to the kids that were picked on. I just liked extra friends. One girl I wanted to kick her face in, but I was too shy. If I wasn't shy I would have done it.
Did anyone ever go to a school that had many kids of a different race than yours and you got called racist names or was picked on because of your background? | |
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karmatornado said: I never got bullied, but I remember this gangster dude that everyone was scared of when I was a freshmen who was a junior at the time had "beef" with me. I tried to diplomatically solve the shit, counselors and all, but the fucker would keep harassing me so one day in the quad at lunch he decided to talk shit and I just stepped on his foot kicked him in his knee cap, tackled his ass and pummeled his ass in front of about 200 kids. We both got suspended and when we came back the dudes gangster homey tried to fight me and got the shit kicked out of him. After that no one ever fucked around with me again in high school. I still have friends that I see on occasion at bars that tell the story about how I whipped big ganster abel's ass who was two years older and 50 pounds heavier than me!
wow that is pretty cool. | |
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unlucky7 said: boys can be so mean to girls in elementary school. I was never really bullied, just bad names and stuff. I was always nice to the kids that were picked on. I just liked extra friends. One girl I wanted to kick her face in, but I was too shy. If I wasn't shy I would have done it.
Did anyone ever go to a school that had many kids of a different race than yours and you got called racist names or was picked on because of your background? I went to a catholic elementary school that was predominantly black....I caught hell because I was one of the very few Hispanic kids at the school....that's where I became intimately aware of the terms "Spic" and "wetback"...but I can say that it wasn't nearly as bad for me as it was for the even fewer white kids that went there....by the time I hit fourth grade, if there were more than five I'd be quite suprised.....they literally had to fight on the daily... of course, New Orleans was one of the last places in the south to desegregate its schools, so I understand now that the backlash was inevitable....and for me, after a couple of fights and shouting matches, I managed to get myself out of the target area..... He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.
(George Eliot) the video for the above...
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I was very petite in school and had a funny last name- yes I was bullied a lot. In high school a guy named Todd used to hit me. It was really bad after I was in a car accident and my knees went into the dash- they were very bruised and he used to hit me as hard as he could when I was sitting at my desk. He was a complete bully and an ass...Ppl like that have their won issues obviously. | |
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Shanti1 said: I was very petite in school and had a funny last name- yes I was bullied a lot. In high school a guy named Todd used to hit me. It was really bad after I was in a car accident and my knees went into the dash- they were very bruised and he used to hit me as hard as he could when I was sitting at my desk. He was a complete bully and an ass...Ppl like that have their won issues obviously.
Would you like me to hunt him down and fuck his life up in a major way? | |
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mdiver said: Shanti1 said: I was very petite in school and had a funny last name- yes I was bullied a lot. In high school a guy named Todd used to hit me. It was really bad after I was in a car accident and my knees went into the dash- they were very bruised and he used to hit me as hard as he could when I was sitting at my desk. He was a complete bully and an ass...Ppl like that have their won issues obviously.
Would you like me to hunt him down and fuck his life up in a major way? No- I have a feeling Karma has dealt with him by now. Thank you though | |
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Shanti1 said: mdiver said: Would you like me to hunt him down and fuck his life up in a major way? No- I have a feeling Karma has dealt with him by now. Thank you though Maybe i am his karma....karma with a baseball bat! | |
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mdiver said: Shanti1 said: No- I have a feeling Karma has dealt with him by now. Thank you though Maybe i am his karma....karma with a baseball bat! oh goodness...that was a long time ago - I am a lover not a fighter so I let the powers that be take care of losers like him. | |
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Shanti1 said: mdiver said: Maybe i am his karma....karma with a baseball bat! oh goodness...that was a long time ago - I am a lover not a fighter so I let the powers that be take care of losers like him. A lover huh? | |
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mdiver said: Shanti1 said: oh goodness...that was a long time ago - I am a lover not a fighter so I let the powers that be take care of losers like him. A lover huh?  | |
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Shanti1 said: mdiver said: A lover huh?  Carpenters bend wood, fletchers bend arrows, wise men fashion themselves.
Don't Talk About It, Be About It! | |
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karmatornado said: Shanti1 said: I know. I am shameless aint i? | |
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wow, this has grown to become a very progressive and positive thread, especially for one born out of negativity and violence.
like Carrie and Mara i never had a good relationship with my older brother either, there is a 5 year age gap and i guess the guy resented me coming along when i did. 5 years is a big gap plus he had lots of dunce friends, i was basically terrorised from 8 yrs old onwards. vicously beating me, breaking and stealing whatever possesions a kid may acquire. actively encouraging his friends to chase and hunt me down. i remember it was soon after i had turned 14, i had just got home, after doing my best to evade his gang which would naturally hang out on our estate it was ridiculous, i had to take a half an hour detour to get home from school, in class i wasn't concentrating on my studies but thinking if i was going to get home okay that day. he pushed me for the last time, i had planned out what i would do, and hid a broom stick in my room i beat him with all my strength, but i believe i hurt his mind much more than his body, i still had to run from his friends, well until i got bigger, but he never dared touch me again. bully's are weak people, who lack self control, and rather than reflecting on their own pain, they choose to alleviate that pain by hurting others. i choose now not to talk to that brother although what amazes me is how parents show complete lack of understanding of sibling rivalry and bullying in general. are you ready for submission
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karmatornado said: I never got bullied, but I remember this gangster dude that everyone was scared of when I was a freshmen who was a junior at the time had "beef" with me. I tried to diplomatically solve the shit, counselors and all, but the fucker would keep harassing me so one day in the quad at lunch he decided to talk shit and I just stepped on his foot kicked him in his knee cap, tackled his ass and pummeled his ass in front of about 200 kids. We both got suspended and when we came back the dudes gangster homey tried to fight me and got the shit kicked out of him. After that no one ever fucked around with me again in high school. I still have friends that I see on occasion at bars that tell the story about how I whipped big ganster abel's ass who was two years older and 50 pounds heavier than me!
There was this one guy in High school that was big (jacked-up big) and stupid. He sat behind me in English class my first year. I was new in school and one day he decided to taunt me by flicking his finger at my neck. I really don't know what came over me, but after ignoring him for a long while, I turned around and slapped his hand away and shouted at him to stop. I may have wet my undies, but he chuckled and he was like; "See what he did?" when the teacher came over to him. Needless to say... all that day I thought I was going to get beaten to a bloody pulp. Amazingly he never came after me or anything. Which is good, because unlike you, I'd have gotten CREAMED. By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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eraclito said: wow, this has grown to become a very progressive and positive thread, especially for one born out of negativity and violence.
like Carrie and Mara i never had a good relationship with my older brother either, there is a 5 year age gap and i guess the guy resented me coming along when i did. 5 years is a big gap plus he had lots of dunce friends, i was basically terrorised from 8 yrs old onwards. vicously beating me, breaking and stealing whatever possesions a kid may acquire. actively encouraging his friends to chase and hunt me down. i remember it was soon after i had turned 14, i had just got home, after doing my best to evade his gang which would naturally hang out on our estate it was ridiculous, i had to take a half an hour detour to get home from school, in class i wasn't concentrating on my studies but thinking if i was going to get home okay that day. he pushed me for the last time, i had planned out what i would do, and hid a broom stick in my room i beat him with all my strength, but i believe i hurt his mind much more than his body, i still had to run from his friends, well until i got bigger, but he never dared touch me again. bully's are weak people, who lack self control, and rather than reflecting on their own pain, they choose to alleviate that pain by hurting others. i choose now not to talk to that brother although what amazes me is how parents show complete lack of understanding of sibling rivalry and bullying in general. I totally relate to this.  8 years difference between my brother and I and exactly the same reason I have not spoken to both my father or brother for the last 15 years (and that, in itself, has affected the relationship with virtually all my immediate family as a result).
I had swimming classes in school, once, and the teacher asked why I had a massive bruise on my arm. (My brother had beaten me with a cricket bat). I explained that my brother had caused it which the teacher found hilarous - of course, all sibling rivalries *must* be harmless, yes?
I am only just realising (thanks, Herman even if I didn't tell you this) how much of my life has been rooted in a sense of fear. And that is something I am trying to resolve. I grew up in a house with a father/brother who ruled with an iron fist, only to go out and be teased on a daily basis. I never felt safe in the house, I never felt safe in school/the town I grew up in. It gives you that weird sense of 'otherness', if that's the right word to describe it. Whereas some people had a safe haven to return to, I never, ever felt like I had that option. If it wasn't for the privacy of my bedroom, music and a small group of friends I don't know how I would've got through my teenage years.
NWF, and to everyone else, I am sorry that you had to go through this. But even the crap experiences in life have a funny way of teaching you lessons.  You have to let go at some point - it just eats you up, otherwise. It just takes time to get to that point. 
. [Edited 3/31/07 19:59pm] | |
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