Shanti1 said:

幸福

ZombieKitten said:

Does that mean happiness?

Shanti1 said:

ZombieKitten said:

Yay!!

You have taught me so much already...

Shanti1 said:

yes grasshopper, you good learner!

ZombieKitten said:

[Edited 3/30/07 6:29am]

Shanti1 said:

i agree to an extent. i think some people believe they HAVE to have unhappiness so they can know what real happiness is, and i don't think that at all. unfortunately, i haven't met anyone who hasn't experienced some unhappiness.

some of us have to work for happiness, and it seems fleeting at times. and sadly, many people look for happiness in the wrong places. (ie- having to buy the bigger boat, the nicer house, the newer car, etc) many focus so much on GETTING to their destination that they ignore all the happiness they could be experiencing along the way. like someone said earlier, you can find happiness in the little things. i really do believe that it can come down to attitude. in the long run, happiness DOES come from inside you. "happiness" can equal "contentment".

of course, there are outside forces that can make us unhappy for a time, and it may take a long time to get to happiness again, but it can be acheived. i'm trying.

You are responsible for your own feelings.

Anx said:

And then you lose those things and losing them makes you unhappier than you ever thought possible.

Bringing us back to the "true happiness coming from inside" theme. Sometimes I feel like I know how to acheive that, and sometimes I don't.

I think that it's mostly about that DVD.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

porn is not the way to true happiness.

SexOnWheels said:

Oh.

I guess I'm back to "I don't know".

I know some people who are pessimistic and others who are optimistic. I tend to be the latter, and I do think genes have some bearing on how you take the 'slings and arrows', how you interpret the actions of others and how much satisfaction you gain from simple pleasures.

I try to remain positive - alot of things that happen in life you simply can't control, so I just go with it as much as I can.

Possessions aren't really the key, hence neither is money. A nice shiny car will give you a low level of pleasure each time you drive it but it won't make you 'happy'. Look at how many celebs self-destruct, after all.

However, I'm willing to be swayed. If every orger wants to send me ten pounds, I'll let you know if it makes me happy or not.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

it does make the ride a bit more enjoyable though!

everybody deserves to have happiness in their life. ain't no such thing as having to be bound to just misery 24/7, nor is it woven into one's life.

happiness is anywhere and everywhere...you just gotta look for it. it may pop up in the weirdest of places/things/situations, but it'll be there waiting on you like "where you been?!"

Happiness comes from our core and there are many ways to make ourselves happy. For each person its different, our motives,needs and requirements are all different. I have learned that what we want and need is core to our happiness because many times in our life we are happiest sharing that with another, well for me at least. I am happiest making the one in my life happy but that will only last so long, if i dont have my desires and needs fulfilled at some point then eventually i get worn down and the happiness goes. Its 50-50 for me but i truly believe that for me anyway, the ultimate happiness is when i make her happy and she does the same for me because we both get the fulfillment of filling anothers need and we get our own desires taken care of.
50-50 all the way.


Now i gotta go find a tree to hug
[Edited 3/30/07 8:24am]

I agree with what a lot of you are saying. I don’t think happiness is found in material things and I know that it has to start on the inside. I think it would be weird to expect to be 100% happy all day everyday (unless you’re on drugs or something ) But I was trying to be very general in my question and I think that some people are misunderstanding what I’m trying to ask… (Also, maybe happiness is the wrong word—maybe I should have used ‘contentment’. I dunno.)

Here’s a more specific situation (not mine, btw): say that you’ve always wanted to be a nurse since you can remember. You wanted to be a pediatric nurse, so you went to nursing school, put in your dues at different hospitals, overnight shifts, etc. and you finally get the nursing job in pediatrics. At each hospital there was something you didn’t like, but you thought it was because you weren’t in pediatrics. Finally you get to work in pediatrics; but you don’t like it either. You try to think of a different career/professional that might be better but you can’t think of anything else you might like to do. You still like some parts of being a nurse, but overall it is not what you hoped it would be. Did you pick the wrong career or is it that you just aren’t meant to ever be happy in that area of your life? It’s nothing material or about finding the “right” love, and some days being a nurse makes you happy, but most days it doesn’t.

I guess some of the responses are still applicable to the situation I described, but do you think that maybe no matter what you do, there might be one aspect/area of your life where you can never attain contentment or happiness? Even though other areas are fine...

jone70 said:

Absolutely. No one's life is perfect. Having only one aspect/area of your life that's a disappointment would be lucky. It could be 2, 3, 4, times that many.
There's a reasonable perspective: some things in life you can't change nor do anything about. It's not resigning to defeat, or loss. It's accepting human limitations.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

i don't know. sometimes that loss, after the mourning has passed, makes life better in ways we don't always anticipate.

i'm about to get all taoist and shit, sorry.

i mean, i can't help but think of my mom in this situation. last year, when my grandmother spent the entire year dying, my mom's health deteriorated terribly and she got to a point where she couldn't even walk or form a sentence. i really thought i was going to lose both my grandmother AND my mother that year.

and then, the day after christmas, my grandmother died. and my mom mourned. she mourned HARD. she's still mourning.

but guess what? my mom is walking now. she's sharp as a tack. she's able to drive and take care of herself, and she's even thinking of going back into the workplace now. she's lost an amazing amount of weight and she's sticking to a healthy diet. the last time i visited her, she looked and acted....happy.

i know mom isn't happy that grandma is gone. she's devastated about it. but the pain of watching her pass is gone. she's had her closure. she can get back to caring for herself. and her life is getting better and better.

i guess it's that cliche, every time a door shuts a window opens? however that goes? i believe it's absolutely, amazingly true.

it's just hard to remember when you're in the middle of the loss. impossible to remember, usually.

so anyway. yeah. dvds rock sometimes.

jone70 said:

I think that sometimes when you achieve the things that you think are going to make you happy they dont because maybe they were never going to, that they were false ideals. But you only find that out after you've pursued them unfortunately.

LleeLlee said:

You mean like that poncho phase you went through not long ago?

2the9s said:

yeah, talk about a false idol

Ace said:

fuck if I know

LOL @ Anx re DVD's

Totally agree with this. I personally feel that to achieve true happiness, it's worth maybe takling a few risks in life to achieve it. For instance, I met my partner online last year, and I decided to move over 200 miles away from home to be with him, after going out for only a few months. It was a huge risk, but I feel it was worth it, as I am very happy right now.

Is it possible... probably does it happen... for some, sure will it happen... doubtful

its possible, just at different times in our lives ranging from temporary to permanent.

This is going to sound strange... but it won't be the first time I've sounded strange!

I've thought about dying. I'm not afraid of dying, but I just don't want to not "be" anymore on this Earth regardless of transitioning to the afterlife. I'd miss my friends and family obviously. I'd miss taking my dogs out for a walk. I'd miss waking up and going for a jog on a brisk, cool morning. I love a clear fall, spring, summer, winter day. I love hiking. I love parties. I love partying. I love coming here to this forum.

So all those things and more make me happy. Just the little things... just a beautiful sunny day or a great thunderstorm. Snow.. The lake. The beach. Big Bend. Music, Dance, art, literature....

All of those things and more make me happy. And I will miss them even though I believe in going to a better place.. I just don't think this place is so bad--even with all its problems.

I found a quarter once when I was in the fifth grade.

Ultimately, I think we choose to be happy or not. All sorts of things happen to us in life and it's the way we handle them that is most important. I've learned that no one and no object can make us happy...it comes from inside. That being said, it's hard work to actualize that, but I think it's worth the struggle.