Most people want to be happy, right? What makes someone happy varies from person to person, but at the end of the day most people would say they want to be happy.

But do you think that sometimes it is just not meant to be? Can you try all sorts of different things (eg. careers, loves, friends, etc) and never find happiness? What about when you achieve things that you think will make you happy and they don't--did you make a mistake, or is it possible that you are just not meant to find happiness?

i want to believe that everyone has the ability to find happiness. sometimes its just a change in attitude. for the wanted quality it is, happiness seems to elude many. it can be an ongoing struggle to find it. you just have to remind yourself not to give up, it's out there.

i think, as a lot of things in life, for many reasons; some have and some have not.

anyway. as far as love goes. well, i used to believe in it. and i still do. just not for me. i don't know. it's not a negative thing at all or about anyone being bitter. i'm happy for people who are in love or have found that special someone. some thing's in life you can pursue all you want or be open to the possibility of it. but if it wasn't meant to be, maybe that's just it. maybe God (or what/whoever you believe in or not) has different plans for different people.

happiness i think may be a bit easier to pin point. if you know what makes you happy, then work to achieve it. go after it and fight for it if you have to. but again life can get in the way, things or people happen and you question why. i'd like to believe that everyone who hasn't found happiness/love/etc... still searches and prays for it. but i also realize, at least for myself that certain hopes and dreams may be gone forever.


damn good question though.

You cannot find happiness or have others give it to you. You can only create happiness for yourself. Only you are responsible for your life. Be positive. Look for the good in things. Learn to love yourself.

CHIC0 said:

But what if you know what makes you happy, you work for it, and you achieve it only to realize that it doesn't make you happy after all? Did you choose the wrong thing or is it just that some people don't get to be happy? If you chose the "wrong" thing, then how can you figure out what the "right" thing is, especially if for as long as you can remember you thought the "wrong" thing would make you happy?

luv4u said:

Right, but in the process of trying to create your happiness you keep coming up short. So you try something else and think maybe that will do the trick but nothing does. That's why I'm thinking maybe it's like love or having kids or getting married--for some people it might not be in the cards no matter how hard they try.

SexOnWheels said:

But if the ongoing struggle/search for happiness never ceases even if they change the attitude or job or love, then would that be the same as saying that sometimes happiness is just not in the cards for that person?

jone70 said:

ok..i'm not God.

seriously. i think maybe it's about soul searching. or maybe being content with what you already have. or maybe we just miss the bigger picture. as far as choosing the "wrong" thing. i don't believe we purposely choose it. especially if it's something that's not harming anyone. i guess there are many levels and or lessons in life. some things we think are meant for us are probably things that are meant to teach us or help us grow.

it's odd. but when i was younger i had a feeling that i would be alone forever. and i don't mean that in a sad way. i guess i just sensed it and accepted it. things happened along the way, sure. and i ask why? part of happiness i think for most people is to have someone in life to share it with.

but being ok with yourself. happy with yourself and maybe simplifying things around you; re-evaluating your life, might be the key or at least a step closer to finding answers.




or maybe i'm just talking out my arse!!!


but whatever it is your heart seeks, they say, you shall find. and i hope you do!!

jone70 said:

some people hate to admit it, but perhaps there is a chemical imbalance that could be helped with medication.

jone70 said:

To answer the last question first, I don't believe in fate.

As for the other question, yes - I believe it's possible for everyone to find happiness. I also believe that true, lasting happiness has nothing to do with career, loves, friends, etc.; it's a cliche, but it comes from within. Most people are socialized to believe that success in the areas you mention will make them happy, but - as people who have reached their goals in those regards will attest - it's a fallacy.

I think the Buddhist notion that unhappiness stems from attachment and desire is the correct one.

jone70 said:

I don't know.

Happiness is largely genetic imo. Some people are happy no matter what happens. Others become miserable because of the smallest thing.

Some of us are meant to suffer

Ace said:

Good one Ace. End of story.


tA

Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431

jone70 said:

Having kids or getting married won't make an unhappy person become happy.

I think the trick is to be content in the here and now. Take notice of the little pleasures in life as they happen. And make them happen for yourself, don't wait for another person to do nice things for you. Buy yourself flowers, eat well, buy nice things because you like them, Do the same for your friends, you'll be happier for it.

I doubt that anyone is completely happy about everything in their life, but life isn't usually so bad that we have no happiness at all either.
We choose our own outlook on life.

shellyevon said:

Absolutely.

And Chico... WOW. I relate to absolutely *everything* you have posted on this thread. You stated my feelings perfectly.

And I totally agree with what Ace says... happiness *does* come from within. It starts and ends there. Other people/situations can add to that feeling but if you do not possess it in the first place, nothing is going to kickstart it. No job, no person, no money will bring about true happiness.



Similar to what Chico stated, when I was younger - or at least when I first came out - for a long while I was convinced that (a) I was never going to meet that special someone and (b) my happiness depended on meeting that person. It was almost like I thought I was nothing without that validation. I also thought a fantastic career and a lot of money would bring me happiness. As I've got older, though, I now realise that these things can bring satisfaction in their own way, but that only I can bring about that inner peace. And that is what I yearn for - I am much happier living a simple existence, sometimes. And if that fantastic guy/amazing career/cash comes my way, it'll be the icing on the cake, really. Hope springs eternal.

I think happiness is not something you attain and that's that. If so, where do you go from there? What else is there to strive for? I think life is all about peace and contentment within yourself - together with everything that life itself brings, good and bad - and that happiness can be attained, at many times. But that good/bad balance allows us to enjoy it at the times it strikes us most.

shellyevon said:

well said!


i also think that there are a lot of forces at work trying to make us 'unhappy' or 'dissatisfied' with our lives (example" skin not clear enough? teeth not white enough? car not new and shiny enough? need cosmetic surgery?) so that we will be good little consumers and buy the things we think will bring us happiness.

I don't think it is possible to find happiness. One can only be happy. Happiness is accepting things just as they are, right at this time: NOW.

If there were no money in our world, I expect everyone would be happy


I wish money werent a part of my life but sadly it is.. and so ----->

I think it is asking to much to expect to reach a constant state of happiness. I think happiness is something you feel in many separate moments over the course of your life, pure joy is fleeting, and its memory is a wonderful thing to think back on, so do it often.

shellyevon said:

yup!

I dont think you can create happiness externally ... with things form the ouside of self

I think it is something inside that when nurtured and fed can grow and then you may also find happiness in external things

I think everyone has the power within to be happy if they can find and learn how to use the tools to nurtur that inside themselves






.
[Edited 3/30/07 5:08am]

Even if u find hapiness 1 day everybody will die so what's the poin
No i'm just kidding but hey could u imagine ur life in total hapiness i mean u'll get bored....

No.

i don't think we know what we really need to be happy. we THINK we know and we see things that we think would make us happier, but then life happens and sometimes things you don't expect come into your life and make you happier than you ever thought possible.

but usually life is just boring and sometimes a DVD will come out that you want to buy.

This was my "Daily OM" email meesage for today:


March 30, 2007
Finding Unqualified Happiness

Since most of our experiences are rooted in cause and effect, we naturally want to justify our contentment. We envision grand circumstances, stating that if only we could achieve this goal or obtain that possession, we would finally be in a position to attain happiness. As a result, satisfaction is always just out of reach and the very notion of grabbing hold of it seems like nothing more than a pipe dream. But the truth is that sincere contentment and fulfillment are never wholly the result of external events or situations. Though life's joyful moments can ignite the spark of contentment within us, that spark is fueled by serenity long established in our souls. When we forget this, it is easy to become stuck in "if only" patterns of thought. If we concentrate on the natural serenity that exists within us, however, we can move forward unimpeded by disappointment.

The circumstances you live through each day have the potential to bring both joy and despair into your life. Relying on the reactions they awaken within you to create an emotional foundation means living on a roller coaster of feeling whose course is determined by chance. Though you may yearn for the object of your desire-be it a new job, financial health, a spouse, or some other symbol of success-you have within you the power to be happy without it. Letting go of your "if only" thinking patterns can be as easy as recognizing that inward emptiness cannot be dispelled with outer world solutions. Try creating a list of your "if only"s. Then literally and figuratively let go of the items on the list by tearing it up or burning it. This simple action can help set in motion the intention to set you free, enabling you to make a fresh and balanced start in the present, unencumbered by regrets and unfulfilled desires.

There will likely be periods in your life in which you find yourself tempted to seek a magic formula for fulfillment that is centered upon a single goal or achievement. But the ingredients that come together to form the seeds of happiness that can sustain your spirit throughout the triumphs and trials of existence come from within rather than from without. When your search for satisfaction is focused on your soul, you will never fail to find the joy you seek.


It still all boils down to finding happiness from within and peace in your soul, as others have stated before me.

Mach said:

I agree


I think most ppl look for happiness in things and possessions and they are always let down so they keep trying to buy more and more things to fill that void that true happiness from within brings.

I think happiness means something different for all of us- I agree with ZK that you cannot expect to have happiness constantly but I believe that it is the sad and unhappy times that help us truly appreciate happiness when we do have it in our lives- when it comes from within ourselves.