Everything starts late! Everything ends late. Time is just a thang!

Black folks' philosophy about time is, "We may not be on time, but we are in time, and we don't want to miss anything."

Black folks arrive late for weddings, funerals, and Sunday church services!

And then act like they are on time!

Will go to social functions, particularly at church, and not stay for the program, but want to wrap up some food to take home as if the event is fast food "take out."

When some black preachers can't think of what else to say during a sermon,will say, "Look at your neighbor and say, 'God loves you!"

Every family has a preacher.

When a lead choir member can't reach a high note or has forgotten thewords,will get filled with "a holy ghost" get happy, shout and not have to finish the song.

A gospel choir can sing a three word song for twenty minutes.

You know that a lengthy prayer is about to end when you hear, "And, Lord,when we come to the end of our journey and traveling days will be no more..."

In the black church, the announcements are longer than the sermon.

Cry and pass out at the funeral, but are fine and laughing' at the dinner following the internment.

Take twenty minutes to take up an offering at an afternoon program and only raise $76.34!

There is no such thing as a one hour black worship service!

You can't have black worship without an offering!

If all else fails and the preacher feels that the offering is fallingshort,will exhort folks to pay tithes and say something like "you could have an accident on the Interstate on the way home this afternoon if you don't give
God His share of your bounty."

You can determine the number of people at an afternoon program by the number of dollar bills collected during the offering.

Hymnologist preacher - not much preparation, but recite hymns all through the sermon.

Always want to post-date the check they give you. Want to borrow money and tell you, "I will pay you back next week!"

Will ask grandparents to watch their kids while they run an errand but don't pick them up until two days later.

Eat "fried" bologna.

Refer to diabetes as, "Sugar."

Don't ask them for the precise time. We respond, "Almost a quarter after..."or a "little after two."

Will eat ferociously at the family dinner, and then have the nerve to start wrappin' stuff up in foil to take home.

Black cashiers always seem to have an attitude.

Sell CDs, potato chips, nabs and sodas out the trunk oftheir cars after church.

Have at least one person in the family who still wears a Jheri curl.

Stay engaged for six years and never get married.

Telephone company will have shut off their house phone, but they still have

their cell phone on.

Put hot sauce on everything!

Have at least one family member that "almost" made it to the pros.

Will owe you and everybody else in the neighborhood money but can buy a new car.

Re-use ZipLoc baggies, paper plates, plastic forks, spoons, and knives.Won't throw anything away! The rationale is that you never know when you might need it!

IN SPITE OF ALL OF OUR PECULIAR WAYS, I STILL LOVE BLACK FOLKS!

This is funny! But, I'm white as a ghost and a lot of these pertain to me as well!!!

I love humour.
I love people who can take a look at him/herself and laugh.
I .
I (L).

goey, i love your new sig...

Billy, are you sure that hot sauce thing isn't just you?

Why not:

We have a knack for invention -- be it technological, medical or etymological?

We're an intelligent people, with representatives as varied as Chuck D, Cornel West, Marcus Garvey, Randall Robinson, Nikki Giovanni, Angela Davis, and so on?

We're one of the most resilient cultures in world history -- who else could survive tribal treachery, the middle passage, slavery, lynchings, the Klan, Jim Crow, the Reagan administrations, UPN & the WB?

We're talented enough to be regarded as innovators in every artistic field -- be it music, film, painting, dance, literature, etc.?

We're wonderful organizers of civil resistance in exploiting an Underground Railroad, in writing Negro spirituals that were often escape plans in disguise, in organizing nonviolent marches and boycotts, and in forming our own businesses and successful political campaigns?

Or better yet, why not just change this thread's title and contents to "FOLKS (and why I love us)?"

It's not black (aside from the Jheri curl, LOL) -- it's universal.

Also universal are self-hating, stereotypical jokes that groups perpetuate about themselves over time.

Like that!

If a white person posted this thread it would have been deleted for being racist...

im black but i love this joke. a asian was selling brains 2 another asian and asked how much is the white man's brain?400 dollars. how much is the asians brain? 400 dollars. how much is the black man's brain? 700 dollars. well why is the black man's brain higher he asked. because its never been used b4. that was funny. of course we invented everthing from stop lights 2 ironing boards but it is still funny as hell. check ya;ll later.

divo02 said:

Oh shush! It's funny!!! Let's laugh for once instead of being so sensitive!

CarrieLee said:

Melody said

.

CarrieLee said:

I know, I know!!! Your right and I did laugh CarrieLee, especially about the black cashiers having an attitude!

I've just been on this kick lately where I think it's time for a white comedian to bust out with jokes on black people similar to how black comedians do it all the time. And it's not cuz I'm offended...I laugh like hell at jokes about white people. We need like a white Richard Pryor...Robin Williams does it occasionally but he minimizes it.

divo02 said:

If it's done in good taste then it shouldn't really be a problem, right? You can joke and not be cruel, but it takes a good comedian to be able to do that. We all just need to lighten up a little. And this post Billy put up seems to be helping!

Melody said

.[/quote]

Not necessarily. Black people can feed into stereotypes of their own people as well.

So can a white person make the same jokes if they say up front that they are not racist or that they don't believe such stereotypes to be representative of black people as a whole!?

Sorry for being sensitive...if that's what I'm being, but in all the racial discussions I've seen on prince.org, I don't believe we've discussed how it relates to humor in much detail. I can almost hear all the arguments for why it is acceptable for black comedians to pick on white people...and they are valid. But sometimes, you need to bend the rules a bit and shock the world like Richard Pryor did.

ThreadBare said:

and every family has a ThreadBare!

"Eat "fried" bologna."

hmmm, I love fried bologna with mustard!

CarrieLee said:

Well taste is subjective. Many black comedians' humor on white people appear to make white people be "geekish"
"nerdish" and sometimes introverted in nature. It's still funny, although not necessarily in good taste. Robin Williams often does a imitation of a "black" voice that is hysterical but can be interpreted as sounding dumb. Funny but not necessarily good taste.

I'm not arguing just to argue...just trying to facilitate discussion!

divo02 said:

I know you're not arguing. Neither am I

Now back to the topic!

I LOVE FRIED BOLOGNA!!! When we were poor that's all we ate! Oh, and grilled cheeses!

with Kool Aid???

or sugar water?

CarrieLee said:

It is interesting how so alike are experiences are!

You and Berry are always singing my song! I am beginning to realize that we as human beings are not so different!

edit to correct spelling....
[This message was edited Thu Sep 12 9:37:14 PDT 2002 by sag10]

Tang!!!

shit, tang was/is good.

I can relate to quite a few of these, but what is fried bologna?

Tang is good to clean out your garbage disposal! I am quite serious about that, too...

AzureStar said:

Just that, put a piece of bologna in a frying pan and cook it..It is especially good at a breakfast. Try it, it is good.

sag10 said:

Ooohh, okay! I thought it was a special kind that you can buy at the store, I don't know where my head was. I do know what it is now... I was just confused for a moment. My mom used to get ring bologna and do just that!

I love black people! I love all people!

billysparxxx said:

billysparxxx said:

Me 2.