really good friends.

But then you get a boyfriend/girlfriend.

And you start becoming good friends, with your partner's friends.

And your partners friends AND your partner, don't LIKE your other friend.....at ALL. So much, that they talk about her and try to start arguments with her, and try to turn ppl against her, on a regular basis.

And it gets to the point now, where YOU don't talk to your friend anymore.

Yanno, just cuz your partners crew doesn't like her.....

What kind of person does that make YOU?

And would YOU ever actually DO something like that?

If I were to give into the pressure of others and do that to my friend I would feel low

and I would be unhappy with myself and the new friends

then it may work out that i loose all of them because i could not be true to myself 1st and formost and tell my partner and their friends to shut up when it came to my otherfriend and be able to stay friends with my 1st firend first

I think thats messed up. I would never do that

Yeah, when two people get together it's often difficult to merge their circles of friends completely painlessly, regardless of gender. I think you have to look at these unwanted bonus friends similarly to how you would look at the other person's family; they're going to be around no matter what, so you might as well try to make the best of the situation.

If one of the two people doesn't make that effort, then they should be to blame for any trouble that might arise and not the friend they have a problem with, and most certainly not the other person who is just trying to mediate (which they should).

Mach said:

I think its pretty unfair of a partner to make you feel like you have to choose.

I love friends, the more the merrier.

And even if I DON'T really care for someone, I wouldn't make my partner feel uncomfortable for like them.

SureThing said:

if you don't talk to this friend anymore because your partner and crew don't like her then basically at that point you stop being the persons friend... and no I would never do that.

and you graduated high school when?... thats the shit that kills me, when grown folks still play the high school hallway games, shit people

IAintTheOne said:

So true .....but, it does carry on thru the years somehow...



Hard to avoid sometimes ..but, make your own decissions on the subject...

Back to mode...

pippet said:

yeah it does im sittin here thinkin' holy shit

IAintTheOne said:

Nono.

I'm not the defriender.....I'm the defriend-ie.

SureThing said:

still its high school bullshit rise above it let it go.. you're all grown up now

SureThing said:

aww sorry to hear that

IAintTheOne said:

it is but it still happens with even with "grown-ups" and still a hurting or better yet disappointing thing.

SureThing said:

you deserve friends that will respect and cherish you ... not toss you away like yesterdays trash

Mach said:

co-sign that,

Why should it matter what anybody else thinks?

SureThing said:

Nope, not good, .... love me as i am.. i am Phil.....wanna change me or my friend.....you don't love me...don't love Phil

I have been there.....did the change thing...i was an ass,,,,never again

This is about me, isn't it? You're dumping me

I don't take too well to the master calling my friends and family losers, but it happens a lot

ZombieKitten said:

That's terrible! We're allowed to say that about our own friends & families, but not others'

NDRU said:

yup, it's not too good. It doesn't make me feel very good. My comeback is "well you married a loser, what do you expect!!"

retina said:

I agree completely with Peter here.

Alex doesn't always like my friends, and I don't always like his friends, but we treat one another's friends with respect regardless of our personal feelings towards them.

Thanks Mach...So true.

SureThing said:

So, let me get this straight here....

You have a male friend, and his new girlfriend doesn't like you? Is that right?

gemini13 said:

Yup.

SureThing said:

Surprise Surprise, huh?

SureThing said:

Oh man....tell her to eat shit.

I'm very possessive, so purposely, I would make her even more angry, and would refuse to stop being his friend, stating that I was there first, and she can just stifle it.

What does your friend think?

gemini13 said:

I don't know.

I think he's been brain washed. I think he has her same feelings now.

We didn't really talk about it, I can just tell.

SureThing said:

Well, not saying that you should handle it the way I would, but I would beembarrassingly blunt in front of the two of them, and just ask them both at the same time.

I'd ask "So...whateverhernameis....why do you have such a problem with me being pussywhipped's friend?", and turn to him and say "And why would you let someone who is new to our friendship treat me this way? What kind of friend would do that?"

Light the fireworks and watch them squirm. But, at least they KNOW you feel this way, and she might back off. She'll probably talk shit behind your back, but who cares?

Be aggressive if you feel that you are in the right.