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Printableeraclito said: 1sexymf said: He doesn't have any brothers or sisters, I wish the hell he did. how about a best friend, or a close friend of the family .. I am pretty sure I'm going to talk to one of my sisters. | |
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Ribbed4UrPleasure said: xplnyrslf said: You're too funny.....but, hell NO! that was 27 years ago. I've never had a std. std's wear off after 27 years? Thats a long time! Better late than never! You're asking for it, I swear..... | |
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1sexymf said: butterfli25 said: no you couldn't....you think she won't feel those emotions anyway? Yes, but to a lesser degree. why do you say that? 
We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color. Maya Angelou | |
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wow, I am so sorry this is happening to you. It took me a while to soak in all it.
When I was young, my dad cheated on my mom and had a kid with the other woman. I'm not sure why, but my mom stayed with him. Our family is fine now. But cheating is cheating NO MATTER WHO DOES IT! Whether its the other womans, your dads, or your moms fault its still cheating. here's my opinion: If I was in your moms position - I would most definately think you should tell her! I would'nt want to be with someone who didnt treat me with the respect i deserved and cheated on me. Of course it would hurt, but I would need to hear it. In your position - It will be so hard you don't even begin to know. But try talking to your dad first and telling him to tell your mother and if he doesnt that you will have no other choice but to. this is a hard situation to come by. and at the end of the day your heart will tell you what it thinks is right. I truly hope that everything works out for you and i'm so sorry you have to go through this!     | |
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1sexymf said: butterfli25 said: no you couldn't....you think she won't feel those emotions anyway? Yes, but to a lesser degree. What if she turns on you? When love is involved, people can be quite emotionally irrational. 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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I'm so sorry that totally sucks!!! And although the woman knows he's married ultimately it's HIM that is continuing this relationship. I don't blame you for being super mad at her though.
M MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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1sexymf said: Natisse said: oh wow...
My Mum cheated on both my Dad and my StepDad... first let me say I love her very much and am not rubbishing her memory (she's passed away) but it's simply the truth. with my Father she asked him to stay in a hotel while she chose between him and another man - needless to say he did no such thing instead got in the car and drove 11 hours north and stayed there since 1981. I was only 5 when this happened so don't actually remember it but am going on others word. with my StepDad I was 21 and I remember very clearly my Brother saying to me one afternoon 'tisse do you see how much time Mum and xxxx are spending together for work?' (because they always used to go to work do's supposedly) it dawned on me that he was right and both of us were really angry. I don't know how long it had been going on for but soon after Mum and Kev split and we moved out of the family home. he stayed close though and is still very much a part of my life with his "new" wife (they've been married a few years now but still) I remember, with Mum and Kev, being extremely angry at her for putting everyone through it... she tried to lie about it at first and cover it up and it was her best friend that said to her one day "Gail you have to talk to your children they're adult now and they know exactly what's going on. you'll lose them" I was the angriest I'd ever been with her and right then, I'm ashamed to say it, detested her for doing what she'd done. my big point, though, is that even though he's your Dad you have to remember there are 3 sides to every story - your side thier side and the truth, so to speak. it's heartbreaking finding out what you have and I'm so sorry you're going through this
 Thanks, Natisse. I am sooo mad at him for this. I'm glad you understand ny anger. I completely understand that you are angry and hurt and are very worried about your Mom. My point is, try to do the best you can not to make things worse. "Always blessings, never losses......"
Ya te dije....no manches guey!!!!!  I'm a guy!!!!
"....i can open my-eyes "underwater"..there4 i will NOT drown...." - mzkqueen03   | |
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MIGUELGOMEZ said: I'm so sorry that totally sucks!!! And although the woman knows he's married ultimately it's HIM that is continuing this relationship. I don't blame you for being super mad at her though.
M Without her father there is no "other woman". 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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butterfli25 said: 1sexymf said: Yes, but to a lesser degree. why do you say that? I just think it would be a BIT easier if it came from a family member. | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: 1sexymf said: Yes, but to a lesser degree. What if she turns on you? When love is involved, people can be quite emotionally irrational. That is why this situation is so complex. "Always blessings, never losses......"
Ya te dije....no manches guey!!!!! I'm a guy!!!!
"....i can open my-eyes "underwater"..there4 i will NOT drown...." - mzkqueen03 | |
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xplnyrslf said: Ribbed4UrPleasure said: std's wear off after 27 years? Thats a long time! Better late than never! You're asking for it, I swear..... 
 GIT THAT CORN OUTTA MY FACE!!! | |
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1sexymf said: eraclito said: how about a best friend, or a close friend of the family .. I am pretty sure I'm going to talk to one of my sisters. i would advise u to talk to someone a little less detached from the situation your sister is going to feel the range of emotions you have felt u need someone who has distance so that they make act rashly and control the situation. are you ready for submission
cidade de deus | |
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eraclito said: 1sexymf said: I am pretty sure I'm going to talk to one of my sisters. i would advise u to talk to someone a little less detached from the situation your sister is going to feel the range of emotions you have felt u need someone who has distance so that they make act rashly and control the situation. I agree with this. It can easily turn into a lynch mob. What if your mother refuses, for whatever reason, to have sex with your father? Would you blame him for straying? Many women play this ridiculous shit and what if your mother is doing things to make your father think about straying in the first place? 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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MIGUELGOMEZ said: I'm so sorry that totally sucks!!! And although the woman knows he's married ultimately it's HIM that is continuing this relationship. I don't blame you for being super mad at her though.
M I want to serioulsy hurt them both!!!! She's gonna call him 10 or more times in one night AND question him about his whereabouts??? It sounds likes she's getting out of control. If she were to call or step to my mom, mark my words, I will go to jail because I will fuck her up. I am not playing. I don't condone violence but this is one instance that will not stand a chance. | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: 1sexymf said: Yes, but to a lesser degree. What if she turns on you? When love is involved, people can be quite emotionally irrational.  God, why did I have to find out. Damn, this is sooooo hard. | |
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Did my reply help you any 1sexymf? | |
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1sexymf said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: What if she turns on you? When love is involved, people can be quite emotionally irrational. God, why did I have to find out. Damn, this is sooooo hard.hold on 1sexymf! anger is one letter short of the word "danger".don't mess your life up at the expense of somebody else. it isn't worth it.you got too much going for yourself. | |
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1sexymf said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: What if she turns on you? When love is involved, people can be quite emotionally irrational. God, why did I have to find out. Damn, this is sooooo hard.I wouldn't involve your sister, that adds to her burden as well and affects her relationship with her dad. You really need to talk to a professional or at least someone who really doesn't know any of the parties involved so you can get some clarity. Although I think we are all doing ok here, it helps to be face to face with someone to work out these feelings. I know you are angry and sad and are looking for relief from those emotions. I am sorry you found out about this, but contain this knowledge for a bit. If anything MAYBE talk to your dad about you and how this is affecting your feelings toward him,(who would be well within his rights to tell you to mind your own business if you don't keep it to how you feel and venture into what he's doing with his life). I am sorry you are going through all of this, it really really really sucks.
We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color. Maya Angelou | |
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SaraWright10 said: Did my reply help you any 1sexymf?
Yes, definitely sweetie. I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one in the world who had felt this horrible - not saying that I wish anyone else felt this way. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. You had it even worse with there being a child involved. I hope she's not of childbearing age. [Edited 3/21/07 14:34pm] | |
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I spent my whole life trying to smooth out my parents' relationship and I was the victim of it, not them. I was the child, they were the adults. They finally divorced when I graduated from college (my dad left her the day after my commencement ceremony which shows how intertwined I was in their relationship). In my early 20s, it nearly destroyed me as they both played and plied for my affection and confidence. It was definitely a form of abuse.
Now, I know your situation is very different than mine, but what I have to say is that it is their life and they are two adults capable of dealing with it whatever the outcome. You do not need to protect your mother. In fact, it may help her more if you take the position that she is capable of helping herself and that you believe in her strength. You need to establish and keep extremely clear boundaries for yourself or you will definitely suffer much more than you are right now and everyone else will suffer too. I agree, talking with a professional may be what you need. | |
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1sexymf said: SaraWright10 said: Did my reply help you any 1sexymf?
Yes, definitely sweetie. I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one in the world who had felt this horrible - not saying that I wish anyone else felt this way. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I understand what you mean. No one should ever feel this way or go through it.. but people do and it happens all the time. I'm just glad i could help. | |
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SnakePeel said: Anyway, guess who got caught in the middle of it? Me. BOTH parents were calling me up EVERY DAY to tell me about their latest bullshit, especially my mother. I ended up not speaking to my father for 4 years and I've always kept my mom's at a certain distance since then. This caused ALOT of strain between me and my now ex-fiancee. It didn't break us up, per se, but it certainly led to some bitterness issues between the two of us. My advice: MAKE SURE YOUR PARENTS DONT TRY AND USE YOU IN THEIR BATTLE. And by the way, your Mom WILL find out. Mark my words.  I can relate and I totally agree.
EVERYTIME I hear from my mom or dad,they have something to say about each other. My mom actually got mad at me and didnt talk to me because I knew where my Dad lived. "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood...NOBODY!"
johnart says: "I'm THE shit" | |
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heartbeatocean said: I spent my whole life trying to smooth out my parents' relationship and I was the victim of it, not them. I was the child, they were the adults. They finally divorced when I graduated from college (my dad left her the day after my commencement ceremony which shows how intertwined I was in their relationship). In my early 20s, it nearly destroyed me as they both played and plied for my affection and confidence. It was definitely a form of abuse.
Now, I know your situation is very different than mine, but what I have to say is that it is their life and they are two adults capable of dealing with it whatever the outcome. You do not need to protect your mother. In fact, it may help her more if you take the position that she is capable of helping herself and that you believe in her strength. You need to establish and keep extremely clear boundaries for yourself or you will definitely suffer much more than you are right now and everyone else will suffer too. I agree, talking with a professional may be what you need. Thanks, I can only hope my mom is stronger than I give her credit for. | |
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ThreadCula said: SnakePeel said: Anyway, guess who got caught in the middle of it? Me. BOTH parents were calling me up EVERY DAY to tell me about their latest bullshit, especially my mother. I ended up not speaking to my father for 4 years and I've always kept my mom's at a certain distance since then. This caused ALOT of strain between me and my now ex-fiancee. It didn't break us up, per se, but it certainly led to some bitterness issues between the two of us. My advice: MAKE SURE YOUR PARENTS DONT TRY AND USE YOU IN THEIR BATTLE. And by the way, your Mom WILL find out. Mark my words. I can relate and I totally agree.
EVERYTIME I hear from my mom or dad,they have something to say about each other. My mom actually got mad at me and didnt talk to me because I knew where my Dad lived. Man, if it comes down to her finding out, I pray they don't expect me to take sides. | |
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1sexymf said: ThreadCula said: I can relate and I totally agree.
EVERYTIME I hear from my mom or dad,they have something to say about each other. My mom actually got mad at me and didnt talk to me because I knew where my Dad lived. Man, if it comes down to her finding out, I pray they don't expect me to take sides. Thats not always the case.Someparents dont do that to their children. Both of my parents are selfish as hell. My mom wanted me to hate my Dad and she put alot of pressure on me. But they were BOTH at fault for what was wrong in their marriage "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood...NOBODY!"
johnart says: "I'm THE shit" | |
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1sexymf said: ThreadCula said: I can relate and I totally agree.
EVERYTIME I hear from my mom or dad,they have something to say about each other. My mom actually got mad at me and didnt talk to me because I knew where my Dad lived. Man, if it comes down to her finding out, I pray they don't expect me to take sides. If you get involved you will be taking sides, or at least perceived to be. Think about how you are going to handle this. If you feel that you must confront this, I say you talk to your father first. Don't threaten him with action. See what he does. You should try and talk to someone who can really help you deal with this. IT's awful 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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Best wishes to you and your family and friends, 1sexymf.  | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: 1sexymf said: Man, if it comes down to her finding out, I pray they don't expect me to take sides. If you get involved you will be taking sides, or at least perceived to be. Think about how you are going to handle this. If you feel that you must confront this, I say you talk to your father first. Don't threaten him with action. See what he does. You should try and talk to someone who can really help you deal with this. IT's awful Not only could this effect your relationship with both your Father and Mother, but your Brothers and Sister may resent you for getting involved also. I agree with Super...if you feel that you must take action, the best thing to do might be to talk with your Father and let him know that you know and how you feel in as non-confrontational a way as possible. Don't threaten him, just talk to him and to find out what is going on. However you might just force him into a position of lying to you....which might piss you off even more. And what if you bring these allegations to your Mom and he is not cheating on her. What if somehow (however unlikely) you are wrong? . [Edited 3/21/07 15:00pm] "Always blessings, never losses......"
Ya te dije....no manches guey!!!!! I'm a guy!!!!
"....i can open my-eyes "underwater"..there4 i will NOT drown...." - mzkqueen03 | |
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I'm so sorry hun. I hope that your dad will come clean to your mom.Wanna hear me sing? www.ChampagneHoneybee.com | |
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butterfli25 said: 1sexymf said: God, why did I have to find out. Damn, this is sooooo hard.I wouldn't involve your sister, that adds to her burden as well and affects her relationship with her dad. You really need to talk to a professional or at least someone who really doesn't know any of the parties involved so you can get some clarity. Although I think we are all doing ok here, it helps to be face to face with someone to work out these feelings. I know you are angry and sad and are looking for relief from those emotions. I am sorry you found out about this, but contain this knowledge for a bit. If anything MAYBE talk to your dad about you and how this is affecting your feelings toward him,(who would be well within his rights to tell you to mind your own business if you don't keep it to how you feel and venture into what he's doing with his life). I am sorry you are going through all of this, it really really really sucks. If this comes out everyones relationships with the parents are going to be affected anyway. If family members find out later that she knew but didnt tell them they might be angry. I think she should be non confrontational with her dad, but the person at the centre of all this is her mother, not the father. anyway, I hope things are resolved for the best. | |
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